GIVE Peace the Center Chair

Femininematerz photo

It is the International Peace Day every 21st of September.

When there is conflict women and children are the most vulnerable. Women are exposed to physical assault, rape and abuse. They struggle to watch over their children ; they go hungry while giving their babies and children the little food they can get.

When there is conflict children suffer malnutrition and are exposed to so much inhumane sights. They are out of school and loose time. Their education and future dreams suffer a huge set back.

When there is conflict men are out fighting and defending. Many families loose their men in conflicts living women to struggle with taking care of family members.

No one really wins a war for each side of the waring party suffer great loss. Rebuilding takes time and things will never be the same again.

Give dialogue a chance; Give peace the center chair.

Adebisi Adetunji (C)

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Woman to Woman Talk #17: Park Well

Hello my feminine clan whether you prefer to be called a lady or woman, I missed you and this time we do share together. It has been twoq weeks now since we chatted on the “woman to woman talk” series. Please pardon me I have had to put a few things in place. But hey grab a chair and let’s talk.

Today’s gist centers around something I observe and find annoying while driving around town.

Is it just me or have you ever noticed it too. Why is it that when we, women want to buy something by the road side we don’t park properly? I am talking about my fellow Nigerian women oooo! Often a woman just steps on her car break as soon as she sees something she wants to buy,  parking almost in the middle of the road. Soon other car owners will begin to honk behind her; it is simply not a pleasant sight. Please dear fellow woman/ Lady Park well when you need to buy something beside the road.

In other countries you will end up paying a fine for obstructing traffic. So please be civilized and considerate of others while driving on the road. I mean follow the rules of driving girl….

Are you guilty of not parking properly and stopping to buy something by the road side? What’s your view about this? Share your thoughts… 😀😀

Catch you soon
Adebisi Adetunji (C)

What Do You Do On Saturdays?

Painting by my daughter. Something they do on my phone all the time… Lol

Saturdays come with this need and feeling of fixing, cleaning, cooking and generally getting set for another week of work. I so don’t like to be rushed out of bed on Saturdays! But my house keeper usually comes knocking early at the gate… Yes o, I engage the services of a house help. It is tough and stressful trying to do everything… I mean trying to be a super woman who waves a magic wand to perform impeccably at work and at home. No way!

Please dear woman do not try to do it all alone. Engage everyone in your house and pay if you have to for that extra support and help needed with chores.

Saturdays are also Owambe party days in Nigeria. And trust my Yoruba clan we love to organize all kinds of parties from weddings, 80th & 100th birthday party gigs; graduation from school, freedom after attaining an apprenticeship status😀😀😀; house warming and more. If you are not careful you will always have a friend’s, cousins, great Aunty or Uncle, colleagues, nephew’s parties to attend every weekend!!!

Abeg/please choose your parties. Yes it is good to celebrate with others but not at the expense of your rest time or simply having time to spend alone or with family.

This Saturday at least in Nigeria, we are all preparing our children for school resumption on Monday. Oh Lord help us all… It is the roller coaster season of getting up early, dashing out every morning in order not to be late. And for us mothers it is cooking and packing of extra meals for lunch and breakfast as well… Phew!

Plan, plan, plan your meals and time.

Right now we are in the salon trying to get my daughter’s hair done and ready for school. I still have loads of writing to catch up on and lunch too is just around the corner… Oh the life of a woman… Anyways, I am definitely going to throw in a rest and me time into this Saturday ☺️

So how is your Saturday going? I am all ears… Gist me and let’s giggle together. 😂😂😂

Enjoy your Saturday.

Adebisi Adetunji (C)

No Woman Should Die Giving Birth to Another Life: Preventive Measures

BBC photo

 

It is really disturbing hearing that another woman or any woman just lost her life after delivering her baby.

In the compound where we live the cries of an elderly woman who lost a dear young woman filters through our window. We rushed out and knocked on her door. She managed to unlock her door and with our concerned and worried faces we stepped in asking her like ten questions all at once. That was when we found out a lady dear to her, someone she had worked with at her office before retirement had just died. They lost her after the birth of her third child… It was a very painful news for me.

I am not sure of the details of the complications that could have arisen during or after delivery of her baby but I just simply know that… THIS Shouldn’t BE!Complications that can lead to maternal and child death include:

  • Bleeding/hearmorrahage, pregnancy induced high blood pressure. 
  • Lack of going for antenatal
  • Engaging services of untrained midwives or health care providers;
  • Refusal to follow the doctor’s advice
  • Sometimes it is the careless mistakes of health personnel or anyone taking the delivery of the baby and more.
  • Having too many births in quick successions.
  • Prolonged labor due to narrow birth canal and a baby with a big weight or a breached baby.

A lot more needs to be done to prevent these needless deaths of mothers and their babies. Those to ensure this:

  • The pregnant woman herself – Eat right, take your immunizations, go for regular check up at your antenatal clinic, carry out all necessary and routine checks.
  • Husband/spouse – Be involved and ensure that your wife goes for all her antenatal visits; encourage her to eat and rest well ; watch out for any emergency signs and don’t delay in getting medical intervention.
  • Families should not insist on old traditional harmful delivery practises.

Other preventive means for maternal deaths or birth complications:

  1. Stop female circumcision/FGMC – This causes scaring in the vagina of such a woman or girl therefore narrowing the birth canal. No wonder then that such a woman experiences prolonged labor and tear that could lead to VVF if the case is not managed properly.
  2. Stop the use of traditional birth attendants and engage trained health personnel.
  3. Adopt a modern family planning method to allow mothers to rest in between births. It also enables a family to have only the number of children they can cater for. Family Planning also prevents a woman who has been otherwise advised by her doctor to stop having children on health/wellbeing grounds.
  4. After delivery ensure the woman goes for her postnatal visit to the hospital. There she gets medical check up.
  5. Rest.. Rest and rest after delivery. Don’t rush into doing your normal work routine doing so much than your body can handle.
  6. Naming ceremony can wait if the mother and child are still receiving medical care after delivery.

And seriously a Ceaserian Section is not a taboo or evil! It is a perfectly safe way to ensure that a mother and baby go through the delivery process safely.

No woman should die giving birth to another life.

Adebisi Adetunji (C)

Settling in at the Office after a Break

Hello,
Thank you for stopping by and taking the time to read, comment, like or just being invisible but perusing my blog page. Really do appreciate you.😘😘

This week had me settling in and attending to work assignments after my annual vacation.

Vacation?

Ask me how that went? Oh well… A mixed bag of fun with my children and I on a visit to grandpa’s farm; building a tree house etc.

Then I sat down developing an FGMC radio drama serial script. In between, I published some posts on my blog

Then I started to feel bored staying at home and resting… Can you imagine… I should be grateful for the vacation o!

Resumption of Work 

Guess what?  Now that I have resumed work,  I sincerely miss the relaxed schedule and time I had.

Now I am in the middle of working with a team planning for the 2017 world elders day celebration organized by my media organization – the Federal Radio Corporation of Nigeria, Ibadan Zonal Station … Looking forward to giving our senior citizens a memorable day come 2nd October. You don’t want to know what this assignment entails… Lots of letter writing, brain storming session, sourcing for funds/sponsorship… Etc. The Theme for International Older Persons Day: “Stepping into the future: Tapping the Talents, Contributions, and participation of older persons in the society”.

Then I am back already co-presenting on a live family show. I so missed my “radio husband”… Together we mirror the stresses of couples/family life and get solutions from our dear audience

That’s not all… I seem to be saddled with producing all the health & fitness programs on my station… So here I am on resumption worrying about scheduling studio recordings for the physiotherapy group in Oyo State and this other gym guy who wants to wake listeners up early in the morning to exercise… 😸🙅😀

Still trying to work with my story writing partner on the way forward with a new drama series… So you see resuming work after a long vacation is not something to look forward to sometimes📚📚📚😀😀

But hey work I must and I am grateful for the gift of work. So please bear with me if I am not able to publish as often. But as soon as I am done settling in I will do more Posts. Well, tomorrow might just find me ready to publish a post! Hahaha.

I will also catch up on reading posts from my blogging friends and community. Missed reading your engaging and fun posts.

Adebisi Adetunji (C)

Woman to Woman Talk #16 – Are you one of those praying for your mother-in-law to die? Seriously?! Find Out how to have a better Relationship with Her.

We hear a lot about monster mother in-laws. And if you come from some of our tribes it is a never ending war between mother-in-laws and their daughter-in-laws. It is like we are practically fighting for the attention of the poor man who is not sure of his role as a son or spouse anymore.

Indeed there some very incorrigible mother-in-laws; nothing their daughter in-law ever does is right but paying bad deeds with good is the key here. This can be tough, but being good to your mother-in-law pays in the end. Call her on her birthdays, buy her gifts, encourage your husband, her son to do something nice for his mother. After all you would want your daughter – in-law to do the same for you.

Some single ladies are so terrified of what their mother-in-law could do to make life unbearable for them in their matrimonial home that they wish her dead! Yes, I hear of ladies praying that their mother-in-law would die before they tie the knot with the love of their life. Hmmmn…how would you like your future daughter –in-law to wish you dead too?😱

You don’t have to be terrified of having a mother-in-law. Remember that she had to give birth to her son which gave you an opportunity to meet him in the first place. So be grateful for that. Put yourself in her shoes; she has her fears too about totally losing her son’s attention to you. And seriously the mother-son loving relationship is punctured when the boy falls in love with a girl.

So recognize why there might be an issue:
• You are coming from a different background and generation from your mother-in-law.
• Her view of life is some worth different from yours.
• Just because your mother or friend had a turbulent relationship with her in-laws doesn’t mean you will also experience the same thing.
It is possible to have a good, cordial and loving relationship with your mother-in-law.

How to have a better relationship with your mother-in-law?
First, see her as your own mother for indeed she became your second mum. Surely you do have a misunderstanding with your mum but you usually find a way around it. So find a way around that misunderstanding between you and your mother-in-law.
Study your mother-in-law, find out what she likes and dislikes.
Just because you are now married to her son shouldn’t mean that she is banished for life in her son’s life and your family. Allow your mother-in-law to be a part of your lives. I mean she deserves a right to be a part of her grandchildren’s lives. And it is a relief to you too on days when you simply need a break from the stress of caring for your family.
Make up your mind to be your mother-in-law’s friend as much as possible.
You will not always see eye to eye on a lot of issues but gently and wisely make her see reason. Sometimes let her son, your husband explain things to her. Some things might be better received when it is coming from her son.

When it is really difficult to deal with your mother-in-law, pray for her and yourself. Do your best and keep loving no matter what.

Remember, your mother-in-law is a fellow woman – support each other.

I think we should talk about how to be your daughter- in-law’s Friend in my next woman to Woman Talk post. 😀😀

Adebisi Adetunji (C)