Woman To Woman Talk #28 – What to Do When He Beats You

Romoke felt the blows crashing into her body in quick succession. She is not sure whether to cry out as a wave of pain hits her on all sides and she is not even sure which part of her body again. A few moments later the beating stops and Romoke crawls on her knees dragging herself on the floor, the pain won’t allow her to stand and on so she dragged herself to rest her back on the wall. Her children stood before her crying and saying “mummy sorry”. Romoke knew she had to get up maybe not for herself but for her children. She finally mustered all the strength she had left to rise and clean up herself. Blood was trickling down her face, there was a cut on her head. Romoke walked dizzily to the bathroom to wash; to wash off the pain.

Moments later she was out of the shower wearing a long sleeve to cover the bruises on her arm. Her swollen head and face stared at her in the mirror; the pain won’t go away; the memories of the blows descending on her body came rushing back. Romoke shuddered and wondered how long she would have to put up with this. She had reported Tunde to the police, he was arrested and released and the beating didn’t stop. She shared her dilemma with her siblings but no one wanted her to take the option of leaving. Yes, the meant good in their own way, they want her marriage to survive. Romoke is not sure what to do anymore but she wants the beating to stop; she wants to get out but how?

Again and again, we hear stories like this about another woman who is beaten to the point of bleeding by her spouse or lover. Some end up in real tragedy and never get out of such abusive relationship alive. I just heard another of such story of wife battery today and the woman is looking for a way of escape and help but the option of leaving him is not yet on the table. I am baffled at the fact that women still stay on in these abusive relationships and worst still family members placate her to endure and keep her marriage!

Candid Opinion

If you are been physically assaulted by your man, GET OUT OF THERE! Yes get out, find somewhere to stay. Do not keep getting beaten and hold onto hope that he will one day change. Get out and let him work on himself and change,that is if he ever changes.

Some women stay on in an abusive relationship because of so many reasons which include:

  1. What will people say – Wanting others to believe that your life is perfect.
  2. Not financially able to cope with meeting personal needs and probably that of her children if they have them.
  3. Believing that he will change.
  4. Too emotionally attached to the man

Once you know that the man you are dating can or has physically assaulted you in any way END THAT RELATIONSHIP!!!

Once the man you are married to is physically assaulting you have a PLAN B. Get a job, save some money in order to be able to take care of yourself when you may have to leave that relationship.

#International Women’s Day 2018 Loading- Theme: Improving the lives of Women everywhere, rural or Urban; the time is now

Adebisi Adetunji (C)

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Keeping Up With Life’s Pressure & Work: Do Something about Your Dream

Hello There,

It’s been a while. Life happened and my schedule of work increased, this has made my blogging schedule kind of irregular. I hope to reorganize and be able to share some good posts with you.

When life gets busy, Do what you can and keep keeping on.

Something is cooking in my life and I am trying to pursue a dream I have had for some time now. It is taking shape and requires a lot of sacrifices but I am grateful for the progress made so far. When the time is right I will share my growth and success with you

What have you done lately to get you closer to that goal or dream? Do something!

Interestingly I am amazed that my blog stat seems to be on a high side even when I have barely been able to post as frequently as possible. Thank you all for visiting, commenting and the likes too! YOU ENCOURAGE ME TO KEEP BLOGGING. GRACIAS

Adebisi Adetunji(C)

Happy Valentine : Choose to Enjoy Your Day

The love bug has caught on… Valentine is here and amazingly in my office more people are dressed in other colors apart from the red Valentine color. Interestingly many have on a touch of black and white… Is this the new Valentine color? 😁

Love goes beyond Valentine’s day. Whatever you do,  enjoy your day. If there is no date invitation from anyone celebrate yourself and enjoy your day.

Be grateful for all the beautiful things going on in your life besides having a man to dote on you.

And this is an opportunity to tell someone, it could be your spouse, kids, friends, mum and dad that you love him or her.
My kids gave me warm hug this morning to say “Happy Valentine’s Day mum”. Who says this day has to be all about lovers!

So enjoy your day; love yourself and if you like give yourself a treat.

From me… Loads of love and kisses💞😘😘

Adebisi Adetunji (C)

Radio Program Series You will Totally Enjoy Listening To: Entertaining, informative & Engaging!

I was part of the team that designed the intriguing and engaging stories by African Radio Drama Association(ARDA) and Nigerian Urban Reproductive Health Initiative (NURHI). Stories were designed for three states and I tell you we had so much fun putting it all together. Now the program is set to begin a new quarter this February.

Find the details in this press release below:

“Get It Together” Radio Programs Return:
Weekly Program to Air in Kaduna, Lagos and Oyo States

Abuja — We are back with a brand new season of the “Get It Together” Radio programs Se’rigbo in Lagos, Ireti Eda in Oyo, and Komai Nisan Jifa in Kaduna starting the week of February 12th, 2018.

The radio programs are part of the Get it Together Campaign of the Nigerian Urban Reproductive Health Initiative 2 (NURHI 2) which encourages all Nigerians to KNOW the facts about family planning, TALK to their partner, and GO for family planning services.

In the episodes of these popular radio programs — Se’rigbo in Lagos, Ireti Eda in Oyo, and Komai Nisan Jifa in Kaduna — audiences follow the lives of characters and their interesting journeys through everyday life in Nigeria. The shows also give listeners the opportunity to call-in and speak directly with family planning experts, who will answer their questions live on-air. Listeners also have a chance to win weekly prizes of N1,000 recharge cards.

Speaking about the programs, Dr. Mojisola Odeku, NURHI 2 Project Director said, “Listeners are hooked on the programs’ serial dramas and real stories. Fans calling-in to the program to have their questions answered by family planning experts is one of the more popular features.”

Radio Show premiere dates, radio stations, and broadcast times are as follows:

Lagos Se’rigbo :
-Bond 92.9 FM: Mondays 4-5pm
-Radio Lagos 107.5FM: Mondays 4-5pm
Both start on February 12

Oyo Ireti Eda :
-Fresh 105.9FM: Wednesdays 4-5pm (Start date: February 14)
-Amuludun 99.1FM: Mondays 3-4pm (Start Date: February 12)

Kaduna Komai Nisan Jifa :
-Liberty 91.7Fm: Saturdays 4-5pm (Start Date: February 17)
-Nagarta Radio 747Khz: Wednesdays 3-4pm (Start Date: February 14)

Radio listeners can join in the conversation and see what other fans are saying and catch up on previous episodes on Get It Together’s official Facebook page: @getittogetherng

About the Nigerian Urban Reproductive Health Initiative 2 (NURHI 2)

The NURHI 2 project uses communication to increase demand for family planning among men and women. It is led by the Johns Hopkins Center for Communication Programs (CCP) in partnership with the Center for Communication Programs Nigeria (CCPN).

The Get It Together radio programs build on the success of the previous seasons and the campaign’s 2016 hit song “Get It Together,” featuring Paul ‘P Square’ Okoye and Tiwa Savage. NURHI 2 has also helped establish a network of trained health providers offering friendly and confidential family planning services. NURHI 2 locations can be recognized by the blue, yellow and orange puzzle piece logo with signs that say ‘FP services available here” and the National Family Planning ‘Green Dot logo’.

For more information please visit http://www.nurhitoolkit.org, send an email to cokereafor@nurhi.org or call Chukwuemeka on 0805-334-0599

Adebisi Adetunji (C)

Woman to Woman Talk #27 Stop Stressing Yourself About What You Can’t Change

We women are emotional beings and therefore little things can upset us. In a relationships women are the most hit when things take a downward turn or it doesn’t work out totally.

This is a short and straight to the point post that says to you : Stop Stressing yourself about what you can’t change in your man! People don’t change easily and so you are not responsible for his action but you can choose how you react to it.

Your peace of mind and sanity is important. Some of us try so hard to change our man but nothing is working. The nagging, frustration, tears and stress pile up.

My candid advice:
He may never change. Accept what you can but not when it is a physically abusive relationship. This one you must escape for your life!!

I am talking about issues between you and your spouse that borders on… He didn’t help with bathing the children; he didn’t give me enough money, he doesn’t care enough, he did this or that… Seriously ask him to help! Some men will see you doing all the work and just believe that you are fine… Ask him to help… Tell him you are tired and exhausted.

On other family issues please stop stressing yourself. Find a way around the issues and make yourself Happy.

No one is responsible for your happiness, you and God are. Human beings are so not perfect.

Be grateful for what you have; stop comparing your spouse with other people’s husband. Relax God is in control!

Stop stress yourself about what you can’t change woman. Enjoy your life.

Adebisi Adetunji (C)

XX-FILES Debut on International Day of Zero Tolerance for FGMC.

Me interviewing our guest on radio for FGMC zero tolerance day.

I am excited to be a part of the ideas team for XX-FILES a radio program that inspires women to reach for the sky and beyond.

We wanted to do a special package to educate listeners about the negative impact of female genital mutilation and cutting on girls and women for the 6th of February. This is the international day of Zero tolerance for FGMC.

All the morning shows were not suitable so I shared the idea of doing a one-off women’s program only for that day with my bosses. The idea got a positive nod. However as we sat down to plan and give the program a title out came the phrase XX chromosomes and then XX-FILES! Everyone liked the idea and that was how I got myself into extra work o… Meaning that my work load had simply increased. Just when I was thinking of shedding something off *wink.

Right now XX-FILES is now going to be a weekly live program… All about the female gender. A splash of the different aspects of women’s lives ranging from lifestyle, leadership, politics, empowerment, fashion, relationship, family life, career issues and more.

So thanks to the International day of Zero tolerance for FGMC – we gave birth to a brand new program. My guest for the debut edition was Ms Abimbola Aladejare – Founder and Executive director of The New Generation Girls and Women Development Initiative.

Ms Abimbola Aladejare on red t-shirt, me, her team & radio stations staff

She is an FGMC survivor and is passionate about ending this harmful cultural practice.

Female genital mutilation and cutting is not a campaign slogan it is an issue that affects many girls and women. Many live with the consequences of having been cut. Let’s keep the discussions going; let’s keep educating those who hold tenaciously to this practice in ignorance.

Together we can end FGMC in a generation!

XX-FILES comes up every Tuesday at 10am on Premier FM 93.5.

Adebisi Adetunji (C)

Woman To Woman Talk #26: Are you Overdoing Your Weight Loss Goal?

If you wake up every morning to work out in order to keep in shape raise your hands…🙌🙌 even If I can’t see 😀you. Thumbs up for you 👍👍 

Credits: Dreamstime.com

Hmmmn…however it is likely that many of us do not have time to do that morning jog or in-door exercise. If you are like me, all you can think of in the morning is getting the children ready for school and getting yourself to the office on time.

Lately, I noticed a sharp drop in the size of a few female acquaintances that really disturbed me. These ladies are on the plum side before but seeing them after a few weeks they looked really thin. At first, I was alarmed and asked if they had been ill, only to hear the words, “Oh I am on a diet or weight loss plan”. My response was to say, “Please stop whatever diet program you are doing”! The reason is that they now look so thin that it begins to feel that they are sick. So I ask you, dear lady, are you overdoing your weight loss plan?

There are a variety of weight loss plan and products being promoted every day whether by friends, colleagues or via the media. A good number offer quick fix diet solutions.

If your weight loss plan promises to help you lose a huge amount of weight within a short period, WATCH IT!!

Frankly speaking dear sister, we were all never meant to be a size 8 figure. They say variety is the spice of life, you have to understand your physiological makeup. Some people have big bones and therefore will never be a size eight. And being plum is not a bad thing either. Now I am not saying maintaining a good healthy weight is a bad idea. It is important to maintain a healthy weight but not by taking harmful risks.

If you feel overweight do something about it but do it right! Follow the slow and steady wins the race method of exercising and eating right and healthy too.

Some weight loss programs or products have a list of foods that are not a balanced diet. Therefore many women using these methods do not eat healthily. And for me STAY AWAY FROM WEIGHT LOSS PILLS!! Yes, you will hear things like it is perfectly safe, certified and tested but seriously why do you need a drug to help you lose weight? It means you are in a hurry. After you quickly lose that weight how do you maintain it?

Discipline is key to maintaining a steady and healthy weight. Quick fixes only mess up your body metabolism and endanger your health. Who knows what organ in your body would be affected.

Even natural leafs such as “Ewuro” also “Bitter Leaf” can be harmful if overused. I heard about a lady who kept squeezing bitter leaf every day and drinks the water produced. It later damaged some of her organs because it was an overdose. Bitter leaf is acidic and should be taken like maybe once a week or better still eat it as a vegetable soup. This lady died as a result…how so sad!

Please slow and steady wins the race. Don’t just take on every weight loss plan trending because your friend says it works magic. Think about the long-term effects on your health.

Adebisi Adetunji(C)