Not all men are bad

Not all men are bad
Not all men are abusers
Not all men are rapist
Not all men would abandon
Not all men are child molesters
Not all men are irresponsible
Not all men walk away
Some men  would protect
Some men would sacrifice all
Some men stay
Such good men are sometimes not rare to find

DSC05189 BILKISU Olalekan Rasheed is one man that stayed. His pregnant wife was involved in an auto mobile accident and she had being in the hospital for several months. Olalekan Rasheed had no stable job. He is in between being a bus conductor and other odd jobs. Bilikisu his wife was simply a petty trader before the accident. In my line of work as a journalist I follow some stories and I have come across a number of disturbing trends. A visit to the hospital reveals that a number of men abandon their women on the hospital bed because of their inability to pay the hospital bills or perhaps it was finally an excuse to leave. There were so many cases of Runaway Husbands. On one of such visit i met this man whom over and over again the hospital staff  attested to the fact that day and night Olalekan stood by his wife…when she was unconscious, when she came round but couldn’t speak or recognize anyone; when the hospital bills kept increasing. Meanwhile the baby was growing and decisions had to be made about whether to amputate her legs…Olalekan never left…never abandoned Bilikisu. He was hopeful and he kept on praying for a miracle. Help did come when Some Philanthropists showed up. The baby made it alive and kicking, she is such  a beautiful baby. Still Olalekan waited patiently, helping to nurse his wife. It turned out that her legs didn’t need to be amputated again.

The impact of abandonment can be quite great on any individual talk less of a family. Breaking free from the impact of abandonment is a long road to healing for people who might have gone through abandonment by a father, husband, or even  a wife. I am aware that sometimes women walk  away too,abandoning their families.

The next time you want to walk away, list out reasons you should not. You might be amazed at what you come up with. Don’t let fear, responsibilities, or the complexity of marriage/relationship (yes it is complex) put you on the run. You might be running for the rest of your life because the next relationship/marriage comes with its own complexities or even bigger problems. Be a hero to your family. Like i said in an earlier blog, none of us is perfect, and none of us will ever be. So stop running, stay and fight for your family, you’ve got what it takes to make it work. If you need help ask for it…seek help in the right places.

This is just my way of celebrating and appreciating every man who would not walk away; who would and continue to cherish that girl, that woman in their lives.

By Adebisi Adetunji

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