Love – Is it enough to make that big commitment?

Love grooves with the love of my life

This post was inspired  by a response to writing 101 assignment. Ask me again why i am not taking this course; i definitely hope to be a part of the next class. So i read through a beautiful piece written by my blogging friend Ranu802 on the word regret, which by the way you can read on this link – https://sabethville.wordpress.com/2015/09/09/writing-1013-one-word-inspiration/comment-page-1/#comment-13954

Among the list of one -word prompt that should inspire me to write a blog, the word, Love caught my attention. And it’s a mix bag of love and regret. Have you ever being in love with someone that you regretted loving in the first place? I have, my supposed first love in my early twenties turned out to be a fake. I mean he pretended to be many things he was not and yours truly was head over heels in love despite that inner warning that something was too good to be true about this guy. I got lucky or should i say i was blessed that the truth came out before i got badly burnt. I was so heart broken but i knew that i had to make that choice of letting go and trusting that a new and fulfilling love would come my way down the line again. Now what was fake about him? He was an impostor and a 419( dupes people). Ask me how i fell in love with such a guy; i honestly don’t know. I might as well say that i didn’t see it coming, whatever… i was just simply too in love.

So again i ask:

is love enough to stay in an abusive relationship;

is love enough to get married to someone who makes it all a secret affair;

is love enough to become committed to a person whom you come from way too different culture;

is love enough to not know anything about a person’s past and you still go ahead to keep a serious relationship?

You will have to answer these questions and more yourself. However from my perspective, Love is not enough! Yeah…believe it or not that’s how i feel about it. Now Love is definitely sweet and holds a promise of feeling wanted; sharing your life with another. But a relationship is a serious matter that should not be entered into lightly. “Common lighten up…don’t make your life too complex”…someone says to me. Well look at the so many complex situations people have gotten themselves into simply because of oh…i just love him/her. I could die if i don’t get her! Really…soon the same guy begins to treat her like a piece of trash (forgive my language)

Seriously if you intend to have a serious love relationship with someone then your love(emotion) must wear a google on your forehead and at the back of your head! Where i come from we say Love don begin wear google for back and front(Pidgin). The summary is take a good look before taking a leap.

Why do we many times have things together in other areas of our lives and when it comes to Love matters, we simply become dumb? I say we take a lot of precaution, do a lot of research; watch out for good signs and the bad signs before making that business or career choice but think love is just something that doesn’t have to make sense. Falling in love doesn’t make sense most times but Hmmn…Love should make sense in so many ways.

If i love someone and  our blood group turns out to be AS meaning that there is a likely hood of giving birth to a child who is an SS, then medically we might both need to think again; especially if both of us intend to have kids together.

If you have both been at it for a while now and you are just not compatible in so many obvious ways, you are only preparing for big battles ahead.

If he or she says oh, baby/honey i don’t want us to get our families involved let this marriage just be between us, that is definitely a RED FLAG!

Where i come from you don’t just get married without your family’s support. The moment you introduce a dude or a girl as the love of your life, they will smile. As soon as your partner leaves, your father or mother will have a private meeting with you and ask you a number of questions. I call it examination room! You’ll get questions like: Where is he from? Who are his parents? What kind of job does he/she do? Do they have any family inherited diseases like psychosis in particular! After answering all their questions, they would still go and do a private background check. So funny and not funny because you’ll be feeling like, is it a crime to get married!?

Some people are of the opinion that the modern day couple should be more independent in their choice of who they choose to make a commitment to. Sure why not! But there are warning signs we should heed less we get into a regrettable relationship. Hopefully it will not be one that leaves an indelible scar for life. Some people don’t recover from love relationship that turned sour for whatever reason. So think again, is love really enough?

I am not a love relationship expert but i would like to say look closely before taking that final leap. And my friend if you have been in a love relationship that ended badly don’t despair. In the horizon is a rising sun of new love. Cheers!

Loads of love,

Adebisi Adetunji

Advertisements

13 thoughts on “Love – Is it enough to make that big commitment?

  1. Hi Adebisi! Just popping over from my blog to say “hi” and throw in my perspective of this post. You are so right! Just because you love someone that doesn’t necessarily mean they are the right one for you or that you should put their needs before your own. I believe (as a person who has been married 38 years now (yikes that sounds OLD!) that the best relationships are built on mutual support, respect and caring. Any of the red flags you raise, including the questions you ask yourself, are vital to creating a loving and long lasting relationship. Good for your parents for helping you! In the end, if you find the right person to love, regret doesn’t ever need to be a part of it. ~Kathy

    Liked by 1 person

    • So delighted to have you pop in Kathy. 38years is a wise couple to learn a lot about commitment from. A big congratulations from me…i am 13years now in my marriage and looking forward to celebrating 38yrs too by His Grace! Witty and wise words you have here – relationships are built on mutual support, respect and caring! So true. Love is so much more than what we see around in relationships. Thanks again for your kind words.

      Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s