Splashes of Orange

ORANGE YOUR WORLD 5

Graceful , Bright and beautiful
Fearfully and wonderfully made
A pod budding into a flower
A beautiful, innocent flower
Ready to provide beautiful scent
Painting a beautiful scenery in the world

ORANGE YOUR WORLD 1

Don’t crush her; don’t stamp her into the dust
Let her blossom; let her grow; let her unfold her gifting
Let her mature; let her beautify your life as you treat her well
A whole lot of treasure abides in her but when crushed can disappear
You lose a fountain of great wealth and riches
Let her live; let her laugh; let her dream; let her blossom
To become a fountain of joy and treasure to you and the world

ORANGE YOUR WORLD 4ORANGE YOUR WORLD 2

Time to end every form of violence against women & Girls

Adebisi Adetunji

Feeling Confident as a woman

CONFIDENT WOMAN

Ok here is a few take away lessons from a book i am reading right now. Its titled, “The Confident Woman”, written by Joyce Meyer.

1. If I spend my life keeping myself safe then i rob everyone else of my gifts and talents simply because i am too afraid to step out and be willing to find out what i can do in life.

2. If we never take a chance we will never make progress. Progress always requires stepping into the unknown.

3. Experience gives us confidence but we never get experience unless we step out and try things we have not tried before.

4. Be Bold and courageous, making mistakes is not the worst thing that could happen…Try things.

The Ifs:

5. If what you are doing with your time is not bearing good fruit, then make a change.

6. If you are not getting enough rest make a change.

7. If your friends are taking advantage of you then make a change.

8. If you don’t take actions you will still be complaining about the same things, a year from now!

Wondering about things we don’t have answers to opens the door to fear. Instead of wondering Trust God that whatever your future holds, He will enable you to handle it when the time comes.

Photo Credit: Gratitude Quotes

Adebisi Adetunji

 

Stoning a woman for Adultery?!

Love between a couple is said to be the most amazing and sweetest thing.     ORANGE HEART

Love is a powerful emotion,sometimes it just happens without one been ready for it. Many times you are surprised by the person you end up falling in love with.

How is it that Love for some women and girls translates to mean a death sentence? Stories abound of women and girls who have become victims of death for loving the wrong man.

Afghan woman punished for eloping with another man after her family had arranged to marry her off to a different man. Her name was Rohksahana …she was stoned to death!

A teenage girl, Aswad was also stoned to death because she loved a boy from a different religion. She was condemned to death by men in her family who regard it as honor killing! Reports like these are common in Iraq among the Kurdish north. Unfortunately most victims of these honour killings are women and girls considered to have shamed their families through immoral behaviour

How is it that a woman gets stoned for adultery almost all the time? This is barbaric, inhuman,sickening and just so…so…so…i find no words to explain it!!!

These honour killings just has to STOP! Every Life counts!

Zero tolerance to gender-based violence.

Photo Credit: Wild Orange Media

Adebisi Adetunji

 

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

HAPPY THANKSGIVING

Yeah….its another thanksgiving!
There is so much to be thankful for…pause, “What about my losses i hear someone say”; Not feeling good right now…ok…here is the thing…”YOU ARE STILL ALIVE”

A wise saying saying from the Bible: Anyone who is among the living has hope- even a live dog is better off than a dead lion.

There is still Hope don’t let, go hold on.
Here is a short list of things i am thankful for:

I am grateful that i am alive, well and kicking

I am grateful for the Gift of God’s love….so good to know that He loves me.

I am grateful for my darling husband who always helps me out even when i get on his nerves telling him to do it my way.

I am grateful for my daughter who would ask about what we are going to do with the Okro vegetable simply because she doesn’t want to eat the “solid food” that goes with it. Teaching me that she is growing up to be a wise humorous young lady.

I am grateful for my son who would rush through doing the dishes and leaves a whole lot of mess for me to clean up later. Teaching me patience.

I am grateful that i have a job.

I am grateful for my parents

I am grateful for my friends, and family

I am grateful for the opportunity to put words together on this blog.

I am grateful for YOU Reading this post and more….

Do have a wonderful Thanksgiving…ok its Thanks + Giving…lets not forget the giving part. Share that turkey with not just your family members. THANKSGIVING 2

And don’t hurt yourself in the bid to prepare a feast for everyone….Lol.

Photo Credit: Thanksgiving Break – IJGA

Adebisi Adetunji

Orange your World- End violence against women and girls around the world

Today, the 25th of November marks the International world day celebration of ending violence against women and girls. This year it is a 16days long event.

E

Orange Symbolizes a brighter future , a world free of from violence against women and girls. Orange is the colour of the day, so splash your community, offices, malls and everywhere with this colour. Lets together speak against all forms of gender violence as bloggers.

On femininematerz I’ll do my best to bring you stories of women and girls who had experienced a form of violence all in the bid to paint the ugliness of this menace. Hopefully also to create more awareness and instigate a change to how women and girls are treated. It is zero tolerance to violence against women and girls!

So lets Orange our world!

Adebisi Adetunji

 

 

 

An Intimate Side of Mama Awolowo

Hannah-Awolowo

This is a tribute to a great ICON, a woman who bore the pain of carrying on the heavy burden of wanting her country to prosper; a legacy of her late husband, a politician of note Obafemi Awolowo.

 

BABA AWOLOWO

He was a national hero in the Nigerian history and his voice and love for his country lives on many years after he left the shores of this world. Every politician and political party particularly from South West Nigerian rode on the legacy of Baba Awolowo during campaigns. There is just this tangible and aliveness about his legacy that all of our leaders want to associate with.

We all continue to celebrate this great man that left a deep foot print in the sands of our times but we forget the strong and brave woman behind the scene who stood by him through thick and thin. He refred to her as his “Jewel of inestimable  value”. When he finally lets down his guard in private allowing his shoulders hang down after holding it so high in front of the people trying to be strong for the good of all, she was there holding him and letting him know that all would be well.

Mama Awolowo was fondly called Mama HID( Hannah Idowu Dideolu). 

AWOLOWO

Watching a Tribute on this great woman made me see the intimate side of her life that I wasn’t privy to before and I’d like to share it. Here is what a few family members and those who worked with her closely had to say about her:

Her Driver: Mama would always remember that someone wanted to see her even when protocol would not allow the person in. And she would send for such an individual.

Her Cook: Mama Eat in the morning and afternoon but didn’t like to eat at night…I call it maintaining a healthy life style

Her Grand-daughter 1: Mama always encouraged us to save for a rainy day. Her rainy day was to always have something to give whenever anyone showed up in need family included.

Her Maid: Mama liked been told the truth even when you are in the wrong. And “I am sorry is her favorite word”.

Her Daughter: When father died Mama kept her cool and pulled through but when she was hit by the loss of her son, it hit her badly.

Her Grand-daughter 2: Mama didn’t spend money anyhow. You couldn’t get an extra cent from her if she doesn’t want to give it in a business transaction

Mama herself in a pre-recorded interview said: “I took food to my husband in prison”
Her pains were quiet and hidden from the world through the years. She found solace in God; she loved, lived and sacrificed for others to live.

A Lesson from her: Her pains didn’t break her, she broke her pain and still lived to see her 99th birthday, and a few weeks from celebrating her centenary. Life can be tough and sometimes drop very bitter pills on our laps but there is a lot more to live for and celebrate. Hers is a celebration of life. MAMA HID, THE GREAT WOMAN BEHIND PA OBAFEMI AWOLOWO’S SUCCESS STORY …SUN RE O! May her gentle soul rest in peace and may her good legacy live on to many generations.

Photo Credit: News of the People

Adebisi Adetunji

The University of “I am Sorry”

I-am-sorry-I-made-you-mad-doggy

Would you say i am sorry when things go sour between you and a friend or loved one even when it is obvious that you are not the guilty party? Haa…haa tough one there…i mean why should i be the one to say i am sorry when i am not the one at fault!

Ok here is where i am going with this…A few days ago we all crawled into our couch in the living room to watch a family soap on TV. It was that kind of show that gets me rushing through my chores in the evening so i could follow the story. It was Super Story our weekly Thursday tunic as a family and in many homes in Nigeria. This episode featured a young couple who were barely three months old in their marriage and already drawing  a sword and spear to attack each other. The young husband while driving home in his car was ready for a show down with his wife who apparently offended him that morning. The scene changed to the young wife standing on the balcony of their house soliloquizing and venting her anger at her husband. Now you get the picture of a set stage for a big fight! So Mr husband got home screaming his wife’s name as he entered the house only to get no response. He was angry that she was not even at the door to welcome him warmly. Finally he found her on the balcony of the house with arms folded across her chest. Why weren’t you at the door to welcome me? Didn’t you hear me calling your name over and over again… Said the young man expressing in annoyance. Mrs Wife retorted that she was in no mood to greet him. “Hen…hen…so…so i hope you managed to at least cook for your husband”, he replied irritated. Then Mrs wife pouncing from side to side said she would not cook any food until he apologized for what he had done wrong in the morning. I Chuckled where i was sited watching the drama and i said…“wa pe nbe”( you might wait forever). Then i looked at my husband to see how he would react to my statement. He had this very straight face…loaded with meaning. He obviously knew i  was referring to men’s ego in such matters.

Anyways back to my TV drama…and that was how a big argument ensued between Mr & Mrs. Before we could say Jack Robinson the big argument turned into Mr husband slapping Mrs Wife and so on and so forth. As we say in pidgin English, “no be small thing o“! The incidence became a family matter where Mr husband’s father and mother challenged their son for daring to raise his hands against his wife. His Uncle was also present trying to intervene in the matter. Here is what i liked in this scene – his family asked him to explain why he allowed his anger to get as as far as hitting his woman. He initially said it was because she insulted his father. At that point i thought the family siting would suddenly turn against the young woman for her lack of respect for her father in-law. Instead Mr husband was asked to explain how their misunderstanding resulted into name calling of each others father and mother. The young man seeing that this didn’t work blurted out that his wife said she would not cook for him until he apologized for an earlier offense that occurred in the morning. His Uncle smiled and said, “I don’t want to know about what happened earlier in the morning because there would always be misunderstandings in any marriage”. He therefore told Mr husband that he could not make his wife unhappy in the morning and expect her to be smiling when he comes home in the evening. I laughed and thought this uncle was indeed a wise old man.

In my candid opinion the young wife lacked wisdom in matters regarding managing disputes in her marriage. She certainly had a lot to learn but sincerely also our men find it difficult to say the phrase “i am sorry when ever they offend their wives”. It is like they all went to a school of, never say i am sorry to a woman. When they discover that they have been caught red handed with regard to being the one at fault they employ other means of placating the woman instead of simply saying i am sorry. Some men will even use what i call “bone face” to try to get the woman be at the receiving end of getting all the blame for a quarrel. Perhaps we seriously need a university that has a curriculum of I AM SORRY. What is so difficult about saying, I am sorry? Maybe because we do not understand its deeper meaning.

I am sorry means i accept that i am human and not perfect
I am sorry means i care about you
I am sorry means i want peace
I am sorry means that you are more important than whatever caused the fight
I am sorry means i can get to know and understand the other person better
I am sorry sweeps away seeds of bitterness before it takes root
I am sorry means i am humble
I am sorry means i am more mature
I am sorry gives you a clean slate to have another fight…if you must fight again!

Common get rid of the ego and simply be the first to say I am sorry. People are more important than whatever the issue is. Many years from now you probably won’t even remember what the fight was about. Our bros(men) make una add the grammer no vese or I am sorry to una vocabulary. No be hard thing!

Word Glossary

Wa pe nbe: Yoruba way of saying it might take forever

No be small thing: Pidgin way of saying a matter is very serious

Bone face: Bull dozing your way out of accepting a fault

Make una add the grammer no vese or I am sorry to una vocabulary. No be hard thing: Pidgin words for, add the phrase, I am sorry to your vocabulary. It isn’t so hard to do.

Photo Credit: I am sorry I made you mad doggy Facebook Cover

Adebisi Adetunji

Colours you might like to try for your wedding

WEDDING COLOUR

Imagine a Wedding without colours…no way! In fact the first thing a lady begins to shop for in magazines is a theme colour and a style for her wedding dress. And trust me the lady usually wins in the choice of the theme colour. Just what informs the choice of a wedding colour?

People will first think of their best colour, and then later be influenced by current trendy colours….so lets splash a few colours from weddings i witnessed to give you something to work with

Royal  blue and Tomato Red nicely matched

WEDDING COLOURS 4

A blend of baby blue and pink

WEDDING COLOURS 1

Lemon, yellow & white

WEDDING COLOURS 3

 

WEDDING COLOURS 5

Pink & turquoise blue

WEDDING COLOUR 2

Photo Credit 1: 10 Hot wedding colours

Photo Credit 2: Nigerian wedding colours archive

Adebisi Adetunji

 

The Hand that Rocks the Cradle

MOTHER IN LAW

It is said that the hand that rocks the cradle rules the world. This idiom translates to mean that women have the most influence on how children turn out at adulthood. In my own opinion it means that great powers rest in the hands of women which when properly harnessed will yield a great harvest for the society. Just how do you as a woman use your power/opportunities?

Mother in-laws have the power to rock families of their children especially when it is a son. Why do we continually have power tussles between mother in-laws and daughter in-laws? Some say it’s a fight for the love of the only man between the women. He possesses the privilege of being a son and a husband to them, which are very dear positions. Some mother in-laws are a night mare to their daughter in-laws while some others are heaven sent.

Well the woman we are celebrating this month happens to be a mother in-law made in heaven. Many years ago the birth of her first grandchild and grandson took her to help nurse the baby. Her daughter in-law had a very eventful birth experience which gave cause for having a surgery done. She was not physically fit to take care of her baby and herself as expected. This woman gave all of herself to help her son and his wife. The young couple didn’t have much but instead of complaining she managed whatever she was given. A number of times she helped her daughter in-law to cook. And while she was still feeble because of the birth experience she helped a lot with the washing of the baby’s cloths. The young couple didn’t have enough resources to engage the help of a house help. Now in some culture this help acts might not be strange but in the African culture it is considered disrespect to a mother in-law. There were days when food was scarce in the house; her son and his wife would feel terrible that mama could not be given proper nourishment which her aging body badly needed. One painful episode was the day when the only food available was gari in the house, mama looked at the sad face of her daughter in-law and said, “Yesterday we eat fish, today we drink gari and tomorrow will be eating chicken”. Her words touched her daughter in-laws heart deeply. Now I have heard of mother in-laws who raise hell simply because they were given only one meat and not two to eat their food!

MOTHER IN LAW 2

This woman helped to nurse her grandson for a whole full year before biding her good byes. After that hard work of love she goes back to her home town to nurse her aged sick mother. She sacrificed many years to see the peaceful passage of her mum at a hundred years plus old. What makes this worthy of praise was that she left every other personal pursuit to do this. Today I celebrate Faramade Juliana Falola Adetunji, my mother in-law worth many rubies.

Celebrate your mother in-law and daughter in-law. There is really no reason for the power tussle! Show some love, we all need each other so let’s pull together instead of tearing at each other.

Word Glossary:

Gari: Cassava flakes

Yesterday we eat fish, today we drink gari and tomorrow will be eating chicken: No condition is permanent

Adebisi Adetunji

A Dream come True

Graduation 1

13years ago when i just got married, a well meaning relative advised i and my husband to put child bearing on hold until we had both gotten our Masters degree. The idea was to position our selves for better career opportunities. This person spoke sincerely from his heart about how having children too early could make it impossible to achieve the dream of getting further education. We discussed our options and decided that we were not going to put having children on hold and believed that somehow we would still be able to achieve our dreams. For a woman its a double wait because that means calculating the nine months of pregnancy and at least two years of nursing that child properly.

At work many of my colleagues seem to be acquiring higher degrees while i struggled on to add my small earning into helping to support my husband in the running of our growing family. Every year I’d remind myself that someday soon I’ll purchase my post graduate form. Then in between this prayer and wish i would wonder where i would get the money to sponsor the course. The husband was already overloaded with family bills.  Finally a N20,000 business came along and i closed my ears to all other needs crying for my attention and purchased a form! That was how i punctured the impossible balloon of furthering my education. It was hard and tough having to combine my job and family with attending lectures/studying. Many nights after sorting out the family dinner and cleaning up, I’ll then settle down to catch up on an assignment and studying. Interestingly the course required me to report for field work at various agencies during its duration.

 

Graduation 3Graduation 2

I really must appreciate my family  who had to bare with me on days i couldn’t cook because i had deadlines to meet and many times “the husband” had to baby sit while mummy dashes of to the school library on weekends. It was a crazy schedule but today i reap the rewards of my hard work. Now i am a certified Social Worker! So i can take on clients and cases…sort of already doing that though. Loads of love to my family, friends and colleagues who supported me and made this possible.

So girl don’t give up on that your dream…its possible!

Adebisi Adetunji