Imagine a Wedding without colours…no way! In fact the first thing a lady begins to shop for in magazines is a theme colour and a style for her wedding dress. And trust me the lady usually wins in the choice of the theme colour. Just what informs the choice of a wedding colour?
People will first think of their best colour, and then later be influenced by current trendy colours….so lets splash a few colours from weddings i witnessed to give you something to work with
It is said that the hand that rocks the cradle rules the world. This idiom translates to mean that women have the most influence on how children turn out at adulthood. In my own opinion it means that great powers rest in the hands of women which when properly harnessed will yield a great harvest for the society. Just how do you as a woman use your power/opportunities?
Mother in-laws have the power to rock families of their children especially when it is a son. Why do we continually have power tussles between mother in-laws and daughter in-laws? Some say it’s a fight for the love of the only man between the women. He possesses the privilege of being a son and a husband to them, which are very dear positions. Some mother in-laws are a night mare to their daughter in-laws while some others are heaven sent.
Well the woman we are celebrating this month happens to be a mother in-law made in heaven. Many years ago the birth of her first grandchild and grandson took her to help nurse the baby. Her daughter in-law had a very eventful birth experience which gave cause for having a surgery done. She was not physically fit to take care of her baby and herself as expected. This woman gave all of herself to help her son and his wife. The young couple didn’t have much but instead of complaining she managed whatever she was given. A number of times she helped her daughter in-law to cook. And while she was still feeble because of the birth experience she helped a lot with the washing of the baby’s cloths. The young couple didn’t have enough resources to engage the help of a house help. Now in some culture this help acts might not be strange but in the African culture it is considered disrespect to a mother in-law. There were days when food was scarce in the house; her son and his wife would feel terrible that mama could not be given proper nourishment which her aging body badly needed. One painful episode was the day when the only food available was gari in the house, mama looked at the sad face of her daughter in-law and said, “Yesterday we eat fish, today we drink gari and tomorrow will be eating chicken”. Her words touched her daughter in-laws heart deeply. Now I have heard of mother in-laws who raise hell simply because they were given only one meat and not two to eat their food!
This woman helped to nurse her grandson for a whole full year before biding her good byes. After that hard work of love she goes back to her home town to nurse her aged sick mother. She sacrificed many years to see the peaceful passage of her mum at a hundred years plus old. What makes this worthy of praise was that she left every other personal pursuit to do this. Today I celebrate Faramade Juliana Falola Adetunji, my mother in-law worth many rubies.
Celebrate your mother in-law and daughter in-law. There is really no reason for the power tussle! Show some love, we all need each other so let’s pull together instead of tearing at each other.
Gari: Cassava flakes
Yesterday we eat fish, today we drink gari and tomorrow will be eating chicken: No condition is permanent
13years ago when i just got married, a well meaning relative advised i and my husband to put child bearing on hold until we had both gotten our Masters degree. The idea was to position our selves for better career opportunities. This person spoke sincerely from his heart about how having children too early could make it impossible to achieve the dream of getting further education. We discussed our options and decided that we were not going to put having children on hold and believed that somehow we would still be able to achieve our dreams. For a woman its a double wait because that means calculating the nine months of pregnancy and at least two years of nursing that child properly.
At work many of my colleagues seem to be acquiring higher degrees while i struggled on to add my small earning into helping to support my husband in the running of our growing family. Every year I’d remind myself that someday soon I’ll purchase my post graduate form. Then in between this prayer and wish i would wonder where i would get the money to sponsor the course. The husband was already overloaded with family bills. Finally a N20,000 business came along and i closed my ears to all other needs crying for my attention and purchased a form! That was how i punctured the impossible balloon of furthering my education. It was hard and tough having to combine my job and family with attending lectures/studying. Many nights after sorting out the family dinner and cleaning up, I’ll then settle down to catch up on an assignment and studying. Interestingly the course required me to report for field work at various agencies during its duration.
I really must appreciate my family who had to bare with me on days i couldn’t cook because i had deadlines to meet and many times “the husband” had to baby sit while mummy dashes of to the school library on weekends. It was a crazy schedule but today i reap the rewards of my hard work. Now i am a certified Social Worker! So i can take on clients and cases…sort of already doing that though. Loads of love to my family, friends and colleagues who supported me and made this possible.
So girl don’t give up on that your dream…its possible!
When was the last time you had a great family time out…? Well I was scrolling down my camera to get some pictures for a post when I came across these pictures. I and my siblings and our families went to our home town to visit our parent then grandpa decided to take us all on a trip to his farm. At first some of us grumbled and tried to stall the trip. The kids wanted to all go but all the adults’ imagined big sand flies and insect biting them. In the end we tricked our children into not going…how so unfair. But in the end look how much fun we all had!
On our way to harvest some crops but not seriously…lol
Making fun of ourselves as untrained posh farmers from the city
Making fun that Ken who was still courting my kid sister now my brother in-law wore a very unfriendly farm attire
Celebrating my brother in-law who had a terrible accident falling from a scaffolding. so delighted that he was alive to have fun with us
Finally we got some maize plucked into the basket but seriously grandpa helped us out. Victory at last!
When was the last time you had fun as a family? Hey its time to do it again! I love these guys(my family)
Susan sat on a rocking chair knitting away enjoying the cool evening breeze on the balcony. She was knitting another sweater for her granddaughter, Adaobi whom she adored dearly. She wondered why she wasn’t home yet. Susan hoped that it wouldn’t be one of those nights that her boss kept her working late. How time flies she thought, her Adaobi is a grown woman already. As these thoughts passed through her mind in comes Adaobi dancing moving her waist from side to side. “And what are we so excited about today?” says her grandma. He finally proposed, grandma said Adaobi delightfully. A wedding proposal already, thought Susan. Behind her glasses she blinked tears of joy away as she thought of all the years of struggling to raise her only grandchild. She remembers that dreadful day when she lost her daughter Adaobi’s mother on the birth table. The pregnancy was a difficult one and she was alone in the journey. Her prince charming disappeared as soon as he got to know that she was pregnant. They had both being young when it happened. Susan found herself helping to pick and put together the broken pieces of her daughter’s heart. She hoped that after the baby was born her daughter could move on with her dreams but fate had something else in store. Her daughter never made it through leaving her with the cries of the new born now Adaobi.
Adaobi, cut through these thoughts in Susan’s mind, “grandma check out my ring…are you not happy for me?” Susan startled quickly responded, “of course I am so happy for you darling”. “So when do I finally get to meet this prince charming you have been hiding all this while?” Adaobi explained that Mark had only being very busy but that he promised to pay a visit at the weekend. Susan was excited and started to praise sing her only grandchild.
On Sunday evening Mark came to pay his would be in-law a visit. Susan was happy to receive him and Adaobi was beside herself with excitement. The young man looked calm and collected. He was very respectful and knew when to throw in a few jokes which Susan laughed to. Adaobi watched her grandmother and Mark warm up to each other. In her heart she sent up to heaven a quick thank you. Soon it was time for Mark to leave. His sweetheart escorted him out, and Susan watched them both holding hands as they walked out the front door. It was a while before Adaobi came back. When she came in, her grandmother was sitting on her rocking chair in the dark. Adaobi smiled thinking that her grandmother must have dozed off; she walked towards her with the aim of helping her to get to her bed. As soon as she was close enough Susan spoke up, “Adaobi, the young man is very nice but as an old woman who has seen many sides of life something doesn’t sit well with me about that boy”. Her granddaughter’s hand which was lifted to tap her awake stood still in mid-air. Stammering she said, bu…but mama…. Susan cut her unfinished words by laying her old shriveled fingers on Adaobi’s cheek lovingly and spoke again. “Child, an elder sees what a child doesn’t see; you need to find out more about him before making the big commitment”. With a sinking heart Adaobi knew that it was better to pay hid to the wisdom of her grandma.
Adaobi prayed and hoped that all would be well between her and Mark. She loved him so much and he as well didn’t give her any reason to doubt his love for her. Their love relationship kept blossoming. Soon it was his birthday and she organized a surprise party for the love of her life. She contracted a caterer to do the cooking and a few friends were invited. All of the goodies were to arrive at Mark’s residence in the evening on the D-day. All day Adaobi couldn’t pay attention at work but as soon as she closed she headed to Mark’s home in the hope of meeting her caterer at the address. As Adaobi drove into Mark’s compound where music was already blaring, the house was in frenzy. She was disappointed that Mark had gotten home earlier than she planned and perhaps by then had already let the caterer in. Adaobi didn’t like that the bubble of her planned surprise birthday bash had been busted. She quickly jumped the few staircases on the pouch and as she lifted her hands to knock on the door, it swung open. An excited sweet voice broke out singing… happy birthday to you… and stopped after the first few words. A beautiful fair face stood confused facing Adaobi.
“Who are you?” she said. And who are you? Adaobi asked instead of answering her question. The beautiful fair face replied with irritation, “His wife”, and slammed the door! Adaobi stood still and couldn’t move for several minutes. After a while panting and dizzy she managed to turn away but soon crashed on the steps of the staircases. She couldn’t cry but simply stared out into space lost in a faraway world. Adaobi’s heart was broken into so many pieces that it took several sessions of psychotherapy to mend.
A good number of women have become psychiatric patients because they were badly hurt and betrayed by some man who is either a “promised forever love” like in Adaobi’s case or a husband. How does a woman not get to that extreme breaking point? By knowing that human beings are full of surprises and your life does not come to an end because of a disappointment or betrayal. Protect your heart and let God be your succor. Life can still be beautiful and rich for you in spite of that deep hurt.
Thank you for always stopping by to take a peep at my musing. I’d like to apologize for having not been able to meet up with our Friday fashion post for two weeks in a row. Sincerely my schedule has been tight but i hope to work on bringing you something nice soon. Do have a pleasant and fabulous weekend.
On the 7th November 2015, the election tribunal declares Senator Aisha Jumai Alhassan as the winner of the April 25th gubernatorial poll in Taraba State. This would make her the first elected female governor in Nigeria. Meanwhile the declaration has given rise to a number of protests in the state. Early this morning while listening to the news it was reported that some women in Taraba state protest the sacking of the sitting governor, Darius Ishiaku, a man! What an irony that women protest against the ascent of their own into a leadership position yet we blow trumpets of female emancipation in our political terrain. I cannot help but wonder who these women are: Are they ignorant and impoverished women who would sew Aso Ebi to sing the praises of a political figure for just a few Naira notes thrown their way. In my line of work during political campaigns we see women from the grass root hired as escort to praise sing our politicians during a public outing. At the end of such exercise the women leader gives like N500 or N1000 to each of the women. A friend says that is giving too much credit…sometimes it is as low as N200 with a Congo of rice to take to their poor families!
I am not by this post saying these protesting women are not entitled to their own political views but I cannot but wonder why we as women seem to have a pull her down syndrome. While discussing this same issue with colleagues at work, some said that when a woman has a vested interest in her husband, brother, cousin, father or male acquaintance in taking a leadership position then a fellow woman is a no…no..no. Another person was of the opinion that women are territorial and become easily jealous of each other! The question is, are we really serious about attaining equal rights for women? Seriously we need to pull together in ranks as women instead of breaking the lines which exposes us to the attack of the enemy! I don’t mean that men are our enemies just making an analogy here.
Today 11th November 2015, at the ministerial swearing in ceremony she was named the Minister of Women affairs. I am watching to see how the appeal of the opposing party to her declaration as the winner of the poll turns out!
Congo of Rice: Bowl for measuring rice at the market for buyers
Aso Ebi: A Fabric or cloth selected by a group for an occasion