I find these words thoughtful and i’d like to share it: What is it you really want to do? What resonates with you? Experiment with life It is not what you leave for your children but what you leave in them that matters…. Les Brown
Once upon a time there lived a rich man who had a very beautiful wife. He was a nice man who loved his wife so much and he provided for her well. He had more money than she could ever spend yet something troubled this family so badly. This rich man’s wife was not satisfied with all that he provided; she wanted something more but her husband refused to give her, her wish. Every now and then they argued over this matter but Mr Rich man refuse to grant her request. She became withdrawn and unhappy; their happy home didn’t sparkle with the usual laughter. He continued to lavish her with numerous gifts in order to take her mind off what she wanted. Something happened that changed their story completely. Mr Rich man’s source of income was suddenly cut off. This family moved from been very rich to barely been able to feed after a few months. “If only my wish had been granted perhaps our story would have been different”, said the wife when an argument broke out between them over their predicament. The man regretted never letting her work, but he waited too long before realizing its benefit.
Every now and then I hear stories of men who refuse to allow their wives to work. I am not talking about taking time off work to nurse your baby or have time to raise your kids for a while. There are actually men who insist that their wives would not work for amazingly shocking reasons. Some of these reasons are quite interesting:
• Fear of losing her to another man out there
• The believe that it makes him less than a man having his wife work for someone else
• A woman’s place should be in the home and her duty is to take care of her husband and kids.
• Fear of her earning more than him
These and more reasons that only such men can explain are why some men refuse to allow their wives work.
Why does anyone need to work? Why do women need to work?
For starters let me give a few reasons why I work:
• I was sent to school in order to be able to independently take care of myself at adulthood.
• My father would say I don’t want you to be a liability to any man; and I seriously refuse to be a liability.
• I studied hard in school to earn a degree so why should all that effort and money spent on giving me an education go to waste.
• I had dreams of who I wanted to become when I grow up so work for me is a means of seeing my dreams come true.
• Work gives me the opportunity to support my husband in handling the bills.
• I love going to the Mall to shop and enjoy strolling through the isle. It feels nice picking things from the shelves and throwing them into the trolley. Now this requires money, so I like the idea of been able to make money to spend at the mall.
• I want to be able to take care of my ageing parents and I won’t like to bug my husband every time for this.
• I want to be able to surprise my husband with my own money not His.
• Work affords me the opportunity to buy gifts for a friend’s daughter celebrating her birthday; help a person in need without putting pressure on the man in my life or other people.
• I’d like to see a nice dress or shirt and be able to purchase it for my kids.
• Work gives me the opportunity to travel to see other places.
I guess I sound like a career woman, there you caught me! Work for a woman is not limited to being a career person. Many women have their own business that they manage and a good number are successful at it. Check out some women in a popular market in Ibadan, where I reside in Nigeria….we call them Agbeni women. It would interest you that some of them can pay me double my salary. So whether it’s a business or career I believe every woman should work!
It is because every woman has something to contribute to her family more than just doing house chores; our economy; our society and the world at large. Imagine a world where women did not work at all…hmmmn…the men go tire! The men would be in serious trouble.
Work is the right of every adult human being, man or woman.
MEN: When your woman works you have saved yourself the burden of having to handle the bills all by yourself.
WOMEN: Empower yourself…Get up and work; don’t expect one man out there to solve all your financial problems. I am flabbergasted by the ideology of some young ladies I have met. They believe that getting married is the solution to all their financial needs. I’d say that works in a dream not reality. As predictable many of them soon find themselves married to an irresponsible man who cannot afford to take care of himself yet acquires many more wives.
So great to see an overview of my first year on WP. Its been fun and exciting. Thank you WP monkeys! I also want to appreciate everyone who visited, re ad my imperfect posts, liked, commented and followed me. Its a delight to have you all on board. Hugs and kisses to the following people with the most comment on my blog: Jacquelineobikocha, Lynz Real Cooking, Himali Shah, Adeola Akinyemi my darling sister and Claremary P. Sweeney.
The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2015 annual report for this blog.
Here’s an excerpt:
A San Francisco cable car holds 60 people. This blog was viewed about 3,500 times in 2015. If it were a cable car, it would take about 58 trips to carry that many people.
The Drum beats of the year 2015 is slowly coming to a halt. There will never be another 2015 in the history of mankind. All around people are getting set for the New Year just a few days away. I don’t know about you but I definitely want the New Year to be far better than the outgoing year. There is the possibility of getting tensed as is usually the case when facing an unknown or unfamiliar terrain. A momentum of change by way of setting new goals and plans is rising; would it be sustained?
Personally I am routing for serious changes in certain areas of my life. I want the desired change to happen quickly, if possible in January but something stopped me in my tracks. It got me thinking and accessing myself, goals and dreams for 2016. I’d like to share with you lessons from a sermon I listened to on the last Sunday in the 2015:
• Don’t rush yourself into achieving all your set goals in one month, which is setting yourself up for failure.
• Make it one mile stone at a time; one thing at a time.
• Watch out for opportunities by listening to what people around you are talking about; an idea that would change everything might just pop up.
• Be ready to get out of your comfort zone.
• Be ready to try new things.
• Your brilliant idea or vision would not happen in one day. There is a process it must go through but it will come to reality as you work and wait patiently.
• From the wise words of the book of Ecclesiastics: “There is a time and season for everything… He makes all things beautiful in his time.
• Don’t rush yourself; don’t join in the rat race.
• Be calm, work hard and patiently wait for your dreams to come to pass.
Well Hello there! I have truly missed visiting and reading posts from my blogging community…missed you all! First it was work…work…work that kept me busy, and then my internet subscription expired. A quick check on the coins in my pocket and I knew it had to wait. But hey I’m back.
What have I been up to especially with the long holiday? You know in Nigeria we look for every opportunity to declare a public holiday. Incidentally Christmas coincided with Id-el Maulud and so it was a love tie between Muslims and Christians as everyone gets to celebrate. I was neck deep meeting up with packaging my programs for broadcast and seriously looking forward to the holidays but I quickly programmed a list of writings I must catch up on. So you see in my mind’s eye it was meant to be a working holiday. But boom came an invitation to a dinner party…I thought about my escape plan for not going. My brilliant darling husband knew what I was up to…he simply ironed and laid out cloths for the dinner on our very large family size bed.
Then he mentioned a few reasons why we shouldn’t disappoint our dear host. Reluctantly I agreed. It became exciting and began to feel like a date with my man when on announcing the evening plan to the children they started to giggle. You know sometimes you think you know them…here were my kids slapping each other palm and blowing kisses towards each other. I chuckled and really began to reflect on enjoying a wonderful evening with the love of my life. Of course the kids didn’t go with us…Lol. It was a memorable dinner filled with fun, comedy and lots of food and drinks. Of course I did manage to measure what went down my stomach so I won’t have to regret the following day.
It was so much fun laughing together and giggling like two love birds who had just found each other. There was a lot of PRESS presence at this dinner party; the paparazzi was too much…it was almost like a photo shoot. I had fun having our pictures taken.
I thought that would be it for me…I mean no other extravaganza celebration but the very next day I got another dinner invitation only this time it was an almost official and business kind of party. This time I was on my own as “The Husband” couldn’t accompany me. I had a baptism of driving myself all alone late in the night. The party was cool as well…lots of things to laugh about, plenty food and drinks as well.
Looks like daddy and mummy had all the fun…nope! The next day which was Christmas day was their turn. First we went to church to celebrate the birth of our Savior and friend Jesus. The children’s church presented a variety that left a good feeling in the hearts of adults. After service we had a church party!
It didn’t end there we took them to a fun park.
They had so much fun and even managed to win a brand new bicycle in a raffle draw!! It was all hugs and kisses when we got a phone call that we won the bicycle the next morning because we had to leave the park before it was time for the raffle draw.
In between all of the fun I was having I kept thinking about my neglected work load left undone on my computer. So finally a day before resumption to work I decided to write a few posts for my blog. An elderly neighbor reminded me that rest and fun was good in order to maintain a healthy balance. I smiled and gave myself a mental good pat on the back congratulating myself for daring to have so much fun in the midst of deadlines.
I hope you did get a break and had fun this season. Life is short, enjoy every bit of it!
The idea is this don’t let whatever might have happened in your life keep your back permanently on the ground. When you fall you don’t lie there and keep whining wishing you had never fell; you simply get up. And if it is difficult getting up all by yourself, call out for help and let someone help you up. YOU SIMPLY MUST GET UP AND STAND ON YOUR FEET AGAIN.
Early in the morning in Ikuku village the elders of our clan gathered to decide about the cleansing rites that needed to be carried out urgently. In the room where I was, having not slept for two days, numb by the recent events, I heard grandma’s shout: “Tufiakwa, over my dead body. It won’t happen.” The elders tried to placate her but soon she began to weep asking the gods why they had allowed her eyes to see this evil. The circle of cleansing was about to begin again. Now there are three spirits that must rest in peace.
I looked up to the ceiling where dark cobwebs hanged. A fly was caught in the web and a big spider circled around to feast on its prey. Obinna and i where now as trapped as that fly. I turned to look at his tear stained face and then my eyes monitored the rising and falling of his chest as he slept. It was necessary to assure myself that he was still breathing. We were both lying down on the wooden bed with the flat dirty mattress. My eyes went back to the ceiling where the spider had now reached its prey. The voices of the elders mixed with grandma’s plea to the gods to have mercy on our entire clan were now even louder. I felt a choke in my throat and then fresh tears began to flow down my face. Their voices became distant as my mind traveled to that night I was stirred from my sleep by the raised whispering voice of mother. “I won’t do it Ebuka”, said mother. “I’m only trying to fulfill the cleansing rites”, replied Uncle Ebuka. “Please leave now”, mother said in a harsh tone. I heard Uncle Ebuka’s short clipped laughter as he said, “Chinwe, you know the elders have spoken” and I heard his footsteps leaving. Mother started to sob quietly. I laid down not saying anything and my mind went back to the time father was still alive.