So your Boyfriend Dumped you!

I stumbled on this piece while looking through my former laptop hard disk for a movie  just to relax my head… Its a piece i wrote some 4years ago. I’d like to share it…

How to handle hurts from a broken relationship

Arrow piercing heart

So your boyfriend dumped you or is in love with another! It is not the end of the world and certainly not the end of your life. First lock up yourself and cry your heart out, not get drunk flat out on your face. I mean this guy might not even shed a tear if something bad happens to you. He might well say, “I knew something was not right about her”

After you have cried out some of your pain, get up and face the world again. Get busy doing something profitable for you. You could take up a new project, do something for others, and take up a new hobby, maybe writing.

If it’s too painful and you still have to see him, take a trip or holiday and get out of his zone for a while if you can manage to get away from work.

Meet and make new friends, but do not jump into the arms of the very next guy who finds you attractive. He is probably not the guy you are looking for because your heart is still hurting too much to allow you have a good judgment about the decision you have to make.

Take time to know yourself afresh and determine what you really want your life to be about. You may discover your ex didn’t fit in to the future you dreamed about after all.
Understand that you will find love again, better than you imagined!

Photo Credit: Stock Free Images thank you!

Adebisi Adetunji

Orange Color making a Fashion Statement

DSC05387Its Fashion Friday and we are splashing orange colored attires celebrating the 16 days activities against all forms of violence against women and girls! Spice your wardrobe with new styles of orange attires.

Gorgeous striped orange and black dress

Orange attire 4

 

Business/Office Orange wear

ORange attire and accessories 3

Orange India  Elegant Safari attire

Orange attire 2

Lovely Orange Evening Gown

Orange attair 1

Orange Iro & Buba

Iro and Buba

Nice and simple Orange mixed with white dress

Orange attire 5

 

Exquisite and elegant African Orange wedding attire

African Orange wedding dress 6

Photo Credits:

Pinterest  Orange outfits /Office wear

Battle of gowns Both Sridevi and Madhuri
Best Dressed Bollywood Wedding Guests

Glam Radar

Chevron Dresses

Adebisi Adetunji

 

May I Share With You?…

Inspiring and beautiful thoughts on Freedom to love and more …by Jacqueline Cookingpotandtwistedtales.com

a cooking pot and twisted tales

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LIVING FREE…

May I live
Unafraid to breathe
Free from a choke-hold
That becomes a stronghold
May I live
Unafraid to live
Clinging to my expectations
With feral desperation

SHARING FREELY…

May I share space
Unafraid of being encased
Free from condemnation of race
That becomes a strong base
Purple, White, Olive, Black and every hue within
May I share space
Knowing that we are first a human race
…And all blood are red in this place.

BELIEVE FREELY…

May I speak of belief
Unafraid and in relief
Free from contentious eyes of disbelief
That becomes thresholds of grief
May I wear my mask of belief
Understanding that to achieve
Peace would be a welcome reprieve
…Which we must seek to retrieve.

LOVING FREELY…

May I love you
Unafraid to be bound to you
Free from censors of broken whispers
That becomes harbingers of cold shivers
May I love freely…

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Love Is…

LOVELove is patient
Love is kind and thoughtful
Love is not easily offended
Love keeps no record of wrong
Love is not proud or arrogant
Love is not a bragger or boastful
Love is not rude
Love is not happy about injustice
Love is not jealous or envious
Love is happy to see others succeed
Love is truthful
Love is hopeful
Love sticks around even in difficult times
Love is tough…But Love is worth it!

Love is a lesson we keep learning and getting better at.

I keep learning from the one who loves me unconditionally(God)

Do have a love filled Friday!!!

Photo Credit: HD Wallpapers

Loads of love from meee…

Adebisi Adetunji

 

31 Ways to Achieve Amazing New Year’s Resolution Success!

I found this inspiring and a very timely thought on planning right for the new year. A great Post from Dream Big, Dream Often http://dreambigdreamoften.co/2015/12/03/31-ways-to-new-years-resolution-success/

Dream Big, Dream Often

This time of year I know many of you are looking ahead to 2016 and getting your mind set on some things you want to improve upon or change.  With that said I want you to take time to read the following list I have compiled that I know will help you organize and plan to succeed in 2016!

Do not enter the New Year wishing.  Set your mind on one area of your life and one area only.  Few people can make multiple changes at once, so don’t allow your house to be divided.  Focus on one single change at a time.

calvin-hobbes-new-years-resolutions.jpg credit: Calvin and Hobbes

From experience I have learned that the key to changing your life is to change your thinking!  Hopefully, you can print and secure this list to your fridge or bathroom mirror as a daily reference.

Also, feel free to email me anytime for…

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What is this: Poverty, Ignorance or stupidity?

Young Lara took steady but slow steps towards the centre. She wore a slipper and a loose gown clunked to her body. Her stomach bulged out showing that her pregnancy was in the last trimester. Her back ached and last night she tossed and turned several times on her mat. The baby seemed to be playing football in her tummy. His kicks hit the wall of her stomach in quick successions. She wasn’t even sure if it’s a girl or boy but felt it must be a male child because of its incessant kicks. Lara managed to grab a few hours of sleep in the early hours of that morning. She didn’t even feel like coming to the clinic but in the last visit the nurses had told her the birth of her baby was nearing.

Lara sat on one of the benches waiting with other pregnant women who were lucky to have health centre with an almost free antenatal care services. The antenatal lecture will soon start but as usual many of the expectant mothers came late. A rumbling sound in Lara’s stomach told her she was hungry again. It seemed that the Ogi and Akara digested faster than planned. Lara felt uncomfortable but hoped the routine lecture and check would be concluded quickly, then she could go to the motor park where Semiu worked. He was the father of her baby and would be willing to give her a few naira notes to feed for the day. At first she got N50 but now he seemed kinder and gives her at least N150 daily. She was grateful to him; he was her angel and provider. Semiu had been nice to her ever since they met. Lara did not finish her Primary school education; she had no job and no one. It was difficult to make ends meet; she barely eats a meal before she met Semiu.

Lara held her lips together enduring the hunger pangs and prayed that more women would arrive to fill the empty space on the benches. Two women sited on a bench in front of her were giggling about something and that caught Lara’s attention. One woman was talking about how her husband wanted sex all the time and she had to put him off with the excuse that he could rupture her baby’s water bag now that she was heavy. They laughed again and said so much more. Lara watched on in silence and then an envious feeling spread across her chest as she laid her hands on her bulging stomach. Semiu was not interested in marrying her; their relationship was simply an exchange of a few naira notes to feed and sex. He simply was not taking their relationship beyond what they had. Lara had gotten pregnant as a way of repaying him for his kindness. She calls him her, Alanu. As she these thoughts went through her mind she heard the two women talk about things they had purchased in preparation for the birth of their babies. Lara’s breathing increased in pace; she wanted to get up and leave. She had lied to the nurses that she had bought everything but she hadn’t bought even socks for her baby. Semiu wasn’t prepared to be responsible for the baby but he was willing to dole her way a few Naira notes to feed at least to ease his conscience. Lara wondered what she would do when the baby finally arrives. She felt that hunger pang again and held her stomach trying to calm the rumbling noise.

Lara bent her head in fear and wondered why she had allowed herself to get pregnant. How could she have thought that the way to pay her Alanu back for his kindness was to become pregnant with his baby?

This is the story of many young ladies we came across as I and a team visited Primary Health centres regularly to cover the antenatal sessions. It was alarming seeing many pregnant young girls at the clinic. We were forced to make inquiries from the health workers and what they told us left a bitter taste in my mouth. These girls get pregnant in order to repay their “Alanus” only to be left to care for themselves and the baby. Some of these Alanus gave them as low as N20 daily to feed. I am forced to say: What is that?! Did these girls think that getting pregnant for these men was an automatic ticket to getting him committed to them for life? Some would say poverty forced their hands or put them in a tight corner. I no life comes in different shapes and sizes and it can be pretty hard for some people. And as my people say, Ika o dogba (fingers are not equal)…I totally agree with this wise saying but that does not translate to mean the end of the road.

These girls or should I say ladies have a choice of working on a menial job instead of waiting for one Alanu man to hand them peanuts in the name of helping. I have met other ladies in the market helping shoppers to carry their purchased goods in exchange for some money. Some others would help wash dishes at food canteens; provide laundry services; serve as farm hands; sales girl in a shop and so on. In my opinion these girls have just succeeded in entrenching themselves deeper into the big pit of poverty. Would I be unfair to say that these ladies are lazy? If it this is the case, then they need to know that laziness is costly and ignorance is very costly!

It is just so painful to see the promising future of many young women get aborted.

Word Glossary

Alanu: Yoruba word for a benefactor

Ika o Dogba: Fingers are not equal

Eko:  Pap/corn paste

Akara: Fried Bean cake

Adebisi Adetunji