“Woman Wrapper”

A wrapper is typical attire worn by African women. It is a big cloth tied around the waist and it comes in different array of fabrics depending on culture and people. WRAPPER TYING 2

But that is not what I am referring to here.

Woman wrapper is a pidgin language figurative way of saying that a woman/wife has her man wrapped around her fingers or that she has full control of him. I laugh in French as a friend of mine would say every time I hear the phrase “woman wrapper”. It is a big cultural taboo to have a man do certain types of chores for his wife in some communities. God help you if you are a wife who is married to a man from a very traditional minded background. Hen…your in-laws come to your home and find their son plucking ewedu, efo…or any kind of vegetable…chai…you won’t hear the last of it. You are likely to be reported to all the other family members who would summon their son(your husband) and ask him whether he is in charge of his wife! I mean what is the issue about a man helping his wife to do some house chores whether it be cooking, washing her cloths (laughter…hee…hee…hee…seriously?!) or plucking vegetable leaves?

Let me paint a personal picture of what I mean. On a Sunday we took two cars to church. I drove one and my darling husband drove the other car. After the service I reminded him that we needed either meat or fish to make our meal for lunch complete. Few minutes later he came to where I was chatting with friends in church and said, “I will help get the meat at the market”. I smiled and was totally delighted at not having to go to the market. In my heart I told myself how lucky I am to have such a wonderful man for a husband. Then I remembered that we still needed a vegetable called ewedu…a Yoruba special. ewedu-leaves

I quickly walked up to him in his car and reminded him about this but I had to stylishly say it in such a way that was respectful. Why? Hmmm…another man who joined him was sited beside him in the car. I had to paint a picture that didn’t look like I was asking my dear husband to do the forbidden job of going to the market instead of his wife. When I left both of them and got into my own car, I shook my head and chuckled. It wasn’t like I went home to relax; I still had some cleaning to do before the meat and other stuff arrived from the market purchased by “the husband”. And when he did arrive, I was on my feet cooking and washing while he relaxed but I was really relieved by his offer to help me do the shopping.

I have heard other men say, “It is a privilege and not a right if I help my wife to do the house chores after all it is her heaven given duty”. Some would not even lift a finger to help at all. Abeg (please) I am also the daughter of someone who would not have me worn out and crushed under the load of running my home…I cannot come and die…wink! And guys/men you wonder why your woman is not always in the mood for smooching and sex? You wonder why she doesn’t know that you still love her? Come on helping a woman with some of the chores, cooking, market duty or whatever is also a way of saying “I love you”!

So for me I say to my own dear sweetie, honey, sugar…Adeyemi…I love you to the moon and back for all that you do to make feel special. ME AND HONEY

Photo credit: Allnigerianfoods.com

Photo credit: Nairaland.com

Adebisi Adetunji

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10 thoughts on ““Woman Wrapper”

  1. Hi Bisi,

    You are blessed with a true life companion. 🙂

    The expectations of our society are sometimes unrealistic, marriage is supposed to be a partnership based on support, mutual respect and love. Not a master-slave arrangement. Lol

    “wrapped around her fingers” reminds me of the title of a post sitting in my draft folder.

    Enjoy the rest of the weekend.

    Like

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