There are some stories that just pop up in a discussion with a friend or family that leaves you amused,confused or bewildered. One of such stories came up in a conversation we were having with our neighbor one evening.
The gist centered around women, ladies especially civil servants who buy cloths, dresses, shoes, bags and jewelries on credit. They are usually expected to pay partly or fully at the end of the month when salaries get paid. The business woman selling the goods look forward to gathering in her capital and profit at the agreed date but her hope is dashed. Her debtors would refuse to pay giving all sorts of reasons. In fact some of these women debtors would disappear from the office leaving the owner of the goods grounded.
This is what i will call “not cutting your cloth according to your cloth material”! Why do some women buy what they can not afford and on credit for that matter?! I get different responses to this question every time i ask:
- The desire to be trendy at all cost in spite of not been able to afford the items
- Showing off to their friends
- Ojukokoro – Greed
- Others are buying, so why should i be the only one left out. This happens especially when a cloth had been selected by a colleague,friend or family for a wedding or burial ceremony.
In my opinion it borders on a lack of discipline and determining one’s self esteem by looking good to others on the outside.
So the story zeroed in on a particular woman who had been indebted for 2years. The woman selling the dresses took a list of all those who had been owing her to the authorities in that office. They were all summoned and mandated to pay promptly at the end of the month. Some of them owed as much as 60,000 and more. For heaven sake, how can someone who earns 50,000 be indebted of 60,000 just for dresses, shoes and bags! Simply ridiculous….such an individual would end up borrowing money to survive through the month.
Now to the story of that one woman whose case left me wondering. I will call her Tunrayo. Here was Tunrayo standing in front of her boss trying to defend herself before her boss as to why she had not paid the cloth seller for 2years. Her husband had abandoned her and her three kids and bills were pilling up since she was left with the care of her children. Guess what, she bought the dresses after she and her husband had separated not before…so how is it that she wasn’t any wiser in her decision to go buying cloths worth more than she earned?
It gets even more complicated: Tunrayo stood pregnant before her boss while explaining her predicament. She was struggling to care for herself, the new born and the other kids. I know what you are thinking…Is her husband back in her life? Is she finally in a better relationship? I wish it were so. Tunrayo was pregnant for another colleague at work who earned the same meagre salary and happened to be a married man not intending to divorce his wife neither was he planning to make her his second wife as is the practice in some culture. She calls him her Alanu(Helper).
A big mess: So Tunrayo is in a circle of mess. Mr Alanu was in her life to help her financially when he is able to while she services him in bed. Looks like i am judging Tunrayo…maybe so but i am really bordered as a woman at the big mess she is intentionally getting herself into. I ask myself how is it that this woman didn’t learn anything from her first relationship that broke down? How is it that she only entangled herself the more by trying to be like the other women who seemingly had some money to throw around?
- Just because a man walks away should not mean that a woman gets trapped in the laps of another man that would end up taking advantage of her.
- It is a tough job been a single mum so lots of wisdom and discipline is needed to manage life. Yes you need a man but hey…be careful and choose wisely. Sometimes you are not just ready.
- Don’t go buying what you can not afford.
Photo Credit : tidestore.com