Happy Birthday to my Baby Girl

My baby girl is 9years today OLOLADE PIX 2

We call her “Ololade Baby -Mrs Money”

She likes to pose for pictures

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Ololade posing for a birthday pix with David 4years ago

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Sakara girl; loves to look good

Nine years ago we prayed hard that you would come safely

Your journey to the world was threatened but our prayers were answered

Here you are today 9years on, blossoming out into a beautiful lady

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Grateful for this precious gift from heaven

May you fulfill purpose and destiny

May your life be beautiful

May your life be a blessing to our world bringing many to know the love of our Saviour, Jesus Christ.

May your life be truly blessed!

Loads of love from mum, dad and David

Adebisi Adetunji (C)

Leadership : Tuesday Trickles #3

This post was inspired by Jackie’s challenge: Tuesday Trickles– It is all about sharing quotes and words that inspires you and can motivate others.

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A leadership quote for every woman and anyone who wants to lead:

“Know what you are doing. If you have a plan; a vision, people will follow you”. These words caught my attention on an edition of LEADING WOMEN CNN. Seriously i have been trying to find out the name of the particular guest but haven’t been successful so far. I will keep looking but i just had to share this.

Quote 2:

Use your Voice and you can effect change – Melinda Gates

Adebisi Adetunji (C)

No to Sugar Daddy: Fashion & Beads

Some girls wait for a Sugar Daddy to give them handouts such as money, provisions, cloths and sometimes cars…hmmm. My people(Yoruba) have a saying  “ohun to nbe leyin efa o ju eje lo” Literal meaning: the numbers that come after 6 goes beyond number 7. It can connote “All that glitters is not gold”, “Be careful of that serpent that plays good music in your ears”; “Be wise” and more depending on the context of use.

Well Jolivia,( i call her Wunmi) is one young lady who has decided to pay attention to her studies and also went further to acquire a skill in bead making.

She learned this skill while still an undergraduate in order to augment her allowance. I featured her story in an earlier post Beads Accessories Trending: Jolivia’s collections.

Finally Jolivia has bagged her degree and is off to participate in the NYSC scheme of the next batch. A big congratulations from femininematerz. Keep aiming higher girl as you are on your way to becoming a Big Success and a CEO too!

Girls – Harness you gifts and talents. Go learn a skill and pursue an education…the world is waiting for the manifestation of  your unique quality. There is more to you Girl!!!

New designs by Jolivia Beads.

 

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Catch Jolivia on  http://www.instidy.com/joliviabeads
BB Pin: 52FOA857 to order for your stylish beads.

Adebisi Adetunji (C)

Freebie Friday: Adventurous Alex – What Can I Be?

I think it is awesome and nice to be willing to allow others read your published work for free. Here is how i want to encourage a fellow girl on femininematerz…check out Lindsay’s new book for kids!!! Well done girl!

Hi Everyone!

It’s my favourite day of the week, Freebie Friday!

Today’s free book is Adventurous Alex: What Can I Be?

Adventurous Alex What Can I be Cover

Get your free copy here

Join Alex as she travels through the animal world in the first book of the Adventurous Alex Series, What Can I Be? Alex asks various animals who she is, including an owl, fish, monkey, lion and a gecko, all of whose answers leave her more confused than when she started. It is not until she asks her mom, does she discover who she is, confirming what we all already know, Mom knows best.

Adventurous Alex is a great children’s bedtime book series for early and first time readers. It’s a series I developed to entertain and educate our young children before bedtime and hope it can do the same for yours. The series is great for infants, toddlers, preschool and kindergarten kids. The stories…

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How NOT to KILL your SPOUSE/PARTNER in the face of BETRAYAL #1

Happily Never After happens all the time. I mean even relationships that have it together get to experience many unhappy times. Issues that crop up in love relationships come in different sounds…by that i mean it can be a small buzz in the ear(small upsets); a blending machine…misunderstanding that brews for a while and stops; a sledge hammer…brings shock, pain and some times the heart just stops beating.

When a sledge hammer situation occurs it can sometimes be a shattering experience and some couples are left devastated. A sledge hammer situation can mean a BIG betrayal. The ugly faces of Disappointment, Hurt, Anger and Bitterness rear their heads squeezing the heart of the betrayed partner.

Every time a case of one partner/spouse murdering the other is reported It leaves a shocking and heart breaking bitter taste in ones mouth. What in the world would make a man or woman murder/kill someone they had professed to love for life?! OK I know so many things such as domestic violence, mental illness left unattended to, cheating/jealousy, money/greed, Betrayal of trust and so on could be responsible.

CASES IN THE NEWS:

These incidences are becoming rampart in our society and one wonders what we can all do to stop this trend. Well i do not have all the answers but I’d like to share a few insights that might help prevent another loss of life when a relationship goes sour.

When a spouse/partner is found to be cheating just how should the other party react or handle the situation? A few people are able to maintain their cool but most blow their tops. Revenge even becomes a deep sited plan in the heart of the betrayed partner. Sometimes the matter becomes a criminal case because the betrayed partner maimed or killed the cheating partner.

How is it that an undying professed love turns into deep hatred? Because…

  • He/she broke your solid trust
  • He/She lied to you
  • He/She deceived you
  • He/She messed up your vows to each other
  • He/She left you embarrassed, disgraced, feeling like a fool
  • He/She had just wasted your precious time and years together
  • He/She prefers another
  • He/She physically assaults the other partner

The list goes  on and on…but do you see a pattern?  It is a feeling of I CAN’T TAKE THIS ; I COULD NEVER SURVIVE THIS; WHERE DO I GO FROM HERE; I WOULD DIE IF I LOOSE HIM/HER; IF I CAN’T HAVE HIM/HER NO ONE WOULD, I CAN’T BE THE FOOL

OK JUST STOP!!! It is not about YOU but YOUR PARTNER/SPOUSE’S CHOICE WHICH DOESN’T DEFINE YOU/WHAT YOU CAN STILL DO WITH YOUR LIFE.

So before you do something you’ll never recover from for life here are a few tips:

Coping mechanisms/How to handle Anger that comes with betrayal by your partner/spouse

  1. Feel the pain/hurt but don’t do anything immediately.

True Life story: Once upon a time a woman went to work on a day like any other day leaving her loving husband at home to take the kids to school. Hugs and kisses were exchanged as she left with a promise of a great evening together later that day. She drove off but had to come back a few hours later to collect some important document she forgot at home. On arriving her house, a ceremony was going on. Guests were all gaily dressed as she walked in wondering what was happening…it turned out that it was a naming ceremony of a baby…her husband’s baby born by another woman who was sited right beside her man. Confused and shocked, she went into the house; picked what she came for and left. The ceremony came to an abrupt end or “scattered” as we would say in Nigeria.  I am  sure she must have wept her heart out after she left the scene. Her heart was definitely shattered in many pieces.What had she done to deserve this great betrayal from her loving spouse?

What was this woman’s reaction? She came back home that night and refused to say anything about the ceremony she had witnessed earlier. She even cooked for Mr Husband and she did this for days which was terrifying for the man. Gist had it that this man brought his extended family members to come begging this woman.

I never got to know whether she decided to stay or leave but she decided that He was not going to make her do what she would regret for the rest of her life later. She took her time in making a decision for her future.

2. Get away for a while:

If your pain is more than you can manage such that you are beginning to think of harming your partner, get away quickly. Go somewhere and allow yourself to sort your feelings out.

3. Speak to someone about it:

By all means do not suffer alone, tell someone you trust about what is going on in your life.  This person could be a counselor; a friend; a relationship expert; your mum or dad; your pastor or spiritual leader. They say a problem shared is half solved. Speaking to trusted and experienced people in your life can keep you from taking a wrong turn. Be weary of those who would say “If it is me i won’t take that sh*t! This will only fire up your anger.

4. Understand that though it might seem you are to blame for the betrayal it is your partner’s choice.

Allow your partner take responsibility for his/her actions. You can not fix him/her by been violent.

5. Understand that your world has not come to an end

Things would eventually work out one way or another. You can choose to work on your relationship by getting help for yourself and partner/spouse. And if you decide it is not worth the trouble, then make  necessary decisions but getting physical is not an option. It would only steal your joy, freedom and future when you do get arrested. Sometimes people decide to even end their lives after killing a spouse/partner. LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL…THE WORLD NEEDS YOU…DON’T GO THAT WAY.

To be continued….

Adebisi Adetunji (C)