Thinking out loud…Gender Musings (Guest Post #3)

There are parts of me that have been hiding all my life. I’m daily surprised by the emergence of new aspirations, new dreams, new fears, new flaws, new hopes and new traits I was not expecting.

Why am I digging up and dusting old dreams. It probably never died. Through these new discoveries, I’m reminded that as long as I engage in the process of continuous self-development, new discoveries are inevitable.

The concept I have of myself, my value, my very purpose in life form the core of what influences my personality. So when I am quiet it is for a reason. When I am assertive and refuse to back down in an argument, it is for a reason. When I remain indifferent about an issue, there’s a reason for it.

I strive to be intentional and deliberate about my every act. But I’m asking will it change when I marry? Will I have to “adjust” my personality to suit my in-laws? Will I be assertive enough as a mother to ensure my children are well disciplined?

As I advance in age, will I have the resolve and energy to pursue new projects and initiatives? How will hormonal changes affect my well-being? Will I age gracefully indeed?

Do you as a woman also go through these eeerm say gender musings?

oyinkan FMB

This post was written by Oyinkansola Peter-Ajayi.
Oyinkan is a Correspondent and Presenter with Radio Nigeria.
She lives by the mantra, “Eagles don’t flock” and tweets @Oyinpeter_ajayi

Interesting, Inspiring and fabulous blogs I follow…Reach Out Spread the Love…that’s how we all Grow #3

CONNECTING WITH PPLMandy Stifler: I love this thoughts on friendship: “The most essential ingredient of a successful friendship is unconditional care and love for your friend. Fights and misunderstandings will always occur in a friendship but the thing that matters the most is to resolve the issue as soon as possible by talking straight forwardly to your friend about it”.

Lynz Real CookingA mother/grandmother, a great cook with great recipes on her blog…her stories inspire me. Visit her page to make a new friend and see her world.

A Thomas Point of View: Meet Tikeetha as she shares Dating gists/tips, Parenting tips and lots of other interesting stories.

DebwasHere: She is down to earth, full of life. Learn a few things about keeping things real.

Ajay VjasIt takes only a smile to make a dark day shine.

Nikki’s Confetti Life – Some of  what you’ll get on this page: Photography,  travels, friendships. Beautiful photos…

Meet Akeem on African Apparells for Export. A new, interesting world.

Amy Chhabra has a Fashion and Beauty blog– “Fashionize” and beautify your life.

Want to know how parenting as a step mother works visit “Not The Average Mama blog”

Have a great weekend!!!

Adebisi Adetunji (C)

 

Dino Melaye: A Lawmaker Assaults fellow female lawmaker? What kind of laws would individuals like this make?!!!!

Dino Melaye a Senator of the Federal Republic of Nigeria threatens to beat and rape a fellow Senator, Oluremi Tinubu at an executive meeting held July 14, 2016 in the hallowed chamber of the Senate. He boasted that he would beat her and nothing will come of it… Oluremi has since written a letter asking for security protection.

Dino’s Previous scandals  on violent tendencies
In 2011,  Dino Melaye led a team as a member of the  House of representative  and started a brawl that led to the death of a member.

How is it that a law maker who has a history of violence against women (and anyone for that matter) gets to hold such a sensitive leadership position?

Melaye’s response to the allegation“She called me a dog and when she called me a dog I stood up and I reacted….”

Is this enough reason to have threaten to abuse, rape and impregnate her? Sincerely i am bewildered by the kind of people we have holding key positions in our country. Mostly we celebrate “rubbish” – violence, crime, money launderers, and corrupt individuals.

We forget easily the misgivings of this people and elect them into office the next time an election shows up.

What kind of laws would such individuals come up with?!!!

Adebisi Adetunji(C)

Leadership Quotes: Getting others to follow you.

ALIVE FEMALE ADDISI have been reading the book The 360 degree Leader: Developing your influence from anywhere in the organization by John C. Maxwell. I am still reading but here are a few quotes and thoughts I’d like to share with you. Hope it helps you to become a better person/leader.

Helpful thoughts and quotes from the book:

Getting the job done makes you a success. Getting the job done through others makes you a leader.

When you add value to people they want to follow you.

Provide training to your people so they’ll know how to do their job.

If you don’t like what your people are doing, first take a look at yourself.

Put your staff in the right positions…where their strength lies.

Your followers become like you, so lead well

My thoughts and lessons on my readings of the book, The 360 degree Leadership:

When your followers believe in you
When they can trust you
They will follow you.

Don’t be the kind of leader that says one thing and does another thing. Take time to know your staff individually; connect with them somehow by knowing a little about their lives. It can be just  knowing about their hobby.

Develop your staff patiently and help them acquire skills and qualities that will benefit other areas of their lives.

Adebisi Adetunji (C)

Guest Post: Dear woman, life is simple.

I was laughing all the way reading this post…Something to relax you and encourage you to make your life simpler…no need to complicate things…just breath. Enjoy reading… How to uncomplicate your Life.   UNCOMPLICATE
Another Great Post from Oyinkansola Peter- Ajayi

On too many occasions, my friends and I have chided one another for complicating life. I bet that sounds complicated already. Lol. But really, I don’t think life is as complex as we all make it seem.

Say you step into a salad bar to place an order for chicken salad. A.plate.of.chicken.salad. And you go like; “Can I have a plate of extra chilli, warm water rinsed cabbage, seeded green pepper, diced fresh carrot, boneless chicken wings salad!” What?! Why didn’t you just make it yourself if you knew the recipe so well. Just eat what you are served already!

I am always the first to ask for the best of anything. That’s because I place a premium on quality. When you have the spirit of excellence you naturally seek out top notch products and services. You intentionally make friends with individuals who reason like you or better than you. You strive and stretch yourself to be the best version of you. However, I am wise enough to know that sometimes, asking your hairstylist for sterling service delivery is asking for too much. Sometimes, expecting the best in certain situation is like asking for the impossible. Apparently you can’t give what you don’t have. So make excuses for people. Cut people some slack.

Are you still contemplating saying “HI!” to the cute guy that works in the same building as you? Admit it you like smart and confident guys. Didn’t you just over hear him analyze the NGF crises intelligently with his colleagues at the cafeteria? You weren’t eavesdropping just that you like mind stimulating conversations and you heard that. Next time you “bump into” him on the staircase, compliment his tie. You just said hi and it is okay to be the first to say hi.

Gifts are to be appreciated. The next time a friend buys you a rather tasteless and cheap fabric receive it with love. We know you wear designer and you are a power dresser but it won’t hurt to make a simple kaftan with the fabric. On your next visit to the abattoir or fish shop, pull it out! Your designer won’t be appropriate for such outing anyway.

It is okay to let things slide, demand less of situations or people who can’t give you the more or extra you so much desire. Ignore the waiter who didn’t address you as “Your Royal Highness.” If only he knew your great-grand father’s Uncle was the Oba of Benin. That is it! *sighs* He doesn’t know but we know so don’t embarrass us by trying to let him know because he doesn’t have to know, let it go!

A commercial bus attendant, yes the one with ripped Chelsea jersey, grease stained knicker and fungi infected nails. In his bid to curse the other motorist vying for the good portion of the road with his “Oga*” mistakenly spits in your face. Now you can even tell he had Chelsea dry gin as beverage for breakfast. I know you are angry and really, he deserves to be told off for opening his mouth carelessly. Just give him the eye and seal your lips. He is not worth the trouble. I appreciate his loyalty though. Awon ti Chelsea! Lol.

Just let the dumb in your class win the argument. Don’t let someone drag you into an absurd and pointless argument. We all know the Capital of America is Washington D.C. But he insists it is New York. In fact, he was there when the founding fathers were mapping out the country. You know he is senile so smile and give him a dismissive nod.

Crying after seeing a good movie is not a sign of weakness, if at all I’m told to explain it -it only humanizes you. God gave you tear ducts for a reason so quit being a “pseudo-macho”

It is okay to laugh out loud with your friends at the mall. It is okay to talk about Jesus on Facebook. It is okay to give your babe a big bear hug at the motor park regardless of who is watching. It is okay to help that senior citizen cross the road. It is okay not to have premarital sex even if the Pope says it is “cool.” It is okay to say I don’t know when you really don’t know, nobody knows it all. It is okay to be tagged geek, nerd because you are studious. Someday you’ll be tagged Nobel Prize winner, keep at it.

Many times we let people’s expectation and fear of being labeled get in the way of being true to ourselves. And rather than just being us we complicate our lives. But like India Arie said in her song “Wings of forgiveness”
“…the art of simplicity simply means making peace of your complexity” Dear woman, life is simple; don’t complicate it. It’s okay to smile after reading this!

oyinkan FMBThis post was written by Oyinkansola Peter-Ajayi.                       
Oyinkan is a Correspondent and Presenter with Radio Nigeria.
She lives by the mantra, “Eagles don’t flock” and tweets @Oyinpeter_ajayi

Photo Credit: Medium.com

Word Glossary:

kaftan – Men’s long gown worn over a trouser

Oba of Benin – King of Benin Kingdom, Nigeria.

Oga – His Boss

Awon ti Chelsea – Chelsea Fans

 

The Wisest Things to Do… Thoughts and Life #6

These are thoughts from a teaching i watched on TV…Title of the show was “YOUR MOVE”. I thought they were worth sharing.

WISDOM

The wisest thing to do when emotions are so high is to LISTEN. Andy Stanley

Personal decisions don’t stay personal they affect more people than you think. Andy Stanley

The wise know what they don’t know and they are not intimidated to GO to SOMEONE WHO KNOWS. Andy Stanley

I don’t need to be told what to do is PRIDE

When you need help ask others for help…Don’t be too Proud. The Earlier you ask for help, the sooner you get out of that unpleasant situation. A.M Adetunji

Photo Credit: www123rf.com

Adebisi Adetunji(C)

LOVE TRIBUTE TO THOSE ATTACKED IN FRANCE

Birtday groove 7

No one can explain this pain
Lives cut short suddenly in their prime
Children, Women, Men, Old, Young
None of us can explain the pain

Hearts go out to everyone who lost a loved one
Terror will not win
Love will win
Evil will not overcome

Peace everyone…Peace be still though too painful for words to explain. We will yet win against terror!! Hugs of love…

Adebisi Adetunji (C)