Not Happy but Still In Love…Is this Possible?

love-and-happinessIs love tied to happiness? Yes, love does have something to do with happiness.

Do you feel happy all the time with the person you are in love with? Definitely NO!

Does that make you fall out of love with your partner? Possibly for some…

Where I’m I going with this?

I am just concerned about how we fall out of love in this generation simply because we are not feeling that happiness with our partner or spouse.
Every now and then you are here the lines: “Oh I have to be happy”, “My happiness matters”, “I have to do what makes me happy”. Did you notice the “I’s”, “My”. We are a people or should I say a generation of Me…me…me

Have you ever thought that Love is much more than what we make it be?

What is Love? Not easy to define sometimes but I’ll try

It is a good feeling: but doesn’t always feel good. So Love is more than just a feeling of butterflies

Love is a Choice: You can actually choose to love someone or choose not to. That’s when we say we fall out of love.

Love is not something out of control: So you are feeling so ecstatic about that woman/man; you can’t breathe, you can sleep, you can’t wait to be with him or her every time. Hmmm…love is definitely exciting but why does it sometimes Feazel away? Point here If he or she is married to someone better control that your love feeling or else risk becoming unhappy soon as he/she will also cheat on you soon.

Love can be pain staking/painful: Sometimes you are misunderstood for loving or your acts of love. Sometimes you have to go the extra mile to do something special. Love is willing to do so much more for the one it loves.

Love is humble: It is not self-seeking; it is not arrogant. You must know that you can be wrong so admit it when you are to your partner or spouse.

Love fights- Be very sure that you will engage in arguments and have fights with the one you love. It is perfectly normal and I don’t mean physically punching each other. So misunderstandings help you both to get to know each other as you handle your conflicts rightly.

Love is a stickler or should I say a sticker: It doesn’t just walk away simply because some things are not perfect. It doesn’t give up easily on its partner or spouse. Love is a stickler or should I say a sticker

Love is committed- Love does not stay only on days it feels good.

Is your love all about making you feel good?

Love is much more than happiness

I really don’t how to say this forgive me if it seems like I am ranting…

We need to love moreour marriages need to be more than just about ourselves and how we feel. You have a right and need to be happy in your marriage relationship but how much are you willing to give it to make it work?

Love is so much more…selfless and unselfish.
Before you walk away are you loving right?!

Adebisi Adetunji (C)

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9 thoughts on “Not Happy but Still In Love…Is this Possible?

  1. Amen to all the above. We’ve been together 18 years this year, thank God, but it has not always been all butterflies and rainbows. But thankfully it has been more good than bad, and perceptions is key. Lots of times people get so caught up in “me”, that they forget it’s now “we”. God Bless!

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  2. Love is a choice.
    I’m stumped by this one a little bit.
    I understand that i can choose to be in a relationship or not. I also understand I can choose to work things through with a significant other because things won’t always be roses and butterflies. But I also know that if I’m fighting for our relationship the other person needs to be fighting too. So even if I choose to love this person what do I do if this person does wants the easy way out.

    Then there’s the choice of loving a person but knowing very well living with them is impossible. Loving them enough to want them to be happy with someone else because you can’t be happy together.

    Love is a choice for practical reasons.
    Love is also something the heart does all by itself. Think of all the things that made you fall in love with your significant other. Did you choose these things or did they happen all by themselves? The heart wants what it wants. But deciding to love when the not so fun reality of life sets in, is a choice.

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    • I agree with you that my significant other also needs to fight for our relationship. Both parties have to be willing to work on their relationship to make it work. I also know that some relationship are impossible for so many reasons.
      Mostly this post is about not walking away easily and too quickly from our marriages. We need to be happy with our significant other but things aren’t always rosy like you said. So at such times it helps to remember why you love the person in the first place.
      I don’t know if this helps to put a perspective to what I am trying to say : one time my significant other(husband) really hurt me and I thought we might not make it but we did. It was tough, it took some time. I had to process things in my heart, I prayed about it and made peace. We did talk about the issue on one of our anniversary and settled it. Apart from this some days I get really mad at him(not perfect myself) and then something in me tells me but you still love him… And I get upset even more. But I have learned that love can make it through inspite of the complexities of a relationship.

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