Woman to Woman Talk #8 – Why Are we each Other’s Worst Enemies? Time to Change this!

I remember an election in Nigeria at 2011, PDP convention where the party voted to nominate their presidential nominee. Sarah Jibril, the only woman aspirant got only ONE VOTE and that was her own vote! I looked at all the women with head gears and the elitist women who were party card carrying members who had campaigned that more women should be allowed to handle more seats in the political arena of the Country and shook my head.

None of them voted for this fellow woman…rather sad in my opinion. Sometimes I think we are only playing lip service to our cry and desire to give more women a chance.

How can we get more women into leadership positions when we cannot support one another as women? We are territorial and operate a pull her down syndrome once it is not us that is vying for a post.

Often we gossip about each other pinpointing only the bad side to other women. You will hear things like, “who does she think she is?” “Is she the only one?” “I can do it better than her”. And guess who we are babbling this castigation to? The MEN O! How can they ever take us seriously?

If a fellow sister is occupying an office or has what it takes to handle that position support her. In the office some of us women will be unserious or lazy in carrying out the duties of our job. Then we will expect this boss woman to turn the other eye or we simply say, “But she should understand now, Is she not a woman too?! Since when has been a woman become an excuse not to do your job and then you want the men to give us a chance to handle things! Come on, women let’s wake up. Give your best shot at your job and stand out. I know we have to attend to other things in our lives but seriously stop making excuses; stop being lazy and get on with doing your job well. When you do really have to be excused from work let it be noted that something must really be wrong.

If a fellow sister is occupying an office or has what it takes to handle that position support her.

Then this one gets to me. Two women in an office, they are either bosses or colleagues if you like and then they have a misunderstanding …hehehe…work don stop be dat o!

Girl you really need to draw the line between carrying out the duties of your job and personal grouse. If there is a problem face the issue. Be matured enough and be the first to initiate sorting out the problem so that your work can go smoothly. You don’t have to be best of friends with everyone but you can be cordial/friendly after all we all have something we do those other people do not like about us. So stop keeping malice already and get on with your job.

You don’t have to be best of friends with everyone but you can be cordial/friendly after all we all have something we do that others do not like about us.

It is time to support one another as women; Time to change that style of pull her down syndrome; Time to see the good in other women.

Adebisi Adetunji (C)

Shout out to my girls who posed for the photo of this post. Abimbola Idowu & Ifeoluwa Akindele. Love you!!

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12 thoughts on “Woman to Woman Talk #8 – Why Are we each Other’s Worst Enemies? Time to Change this!

  1. Oh my goodness, this is so true. men aren’t half as much of a problem for us as we women are, and they know it too. They don’t have to worry about is standing up for ourselves, we’d be arguing about when we stand, where, what to wear, she shouldn’t come, EVEN argue about what we are standing for. I mean, we are ALL sisters, God’s children. We should act like it. I don’t have to agree with all women, but it doesn’t have to be an all out war just because I don’t.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I totally agree that you don’t have to be best friends with everybody but you can be cordial. I’ve always wondered why women tend to be their own worst enemies. I also felt dismayed about Sarah Jibril. I thought other women would support their own especially in a society like ours.

    Liked by 2 people

    • My sentiment too about Sarah Jibril Jacqueline. I remember staying up into the early hours of the morning of that day to see how it will all turn out… It was really not a pleasant thing to behold. We need to encourage each other as women seriously.

      Like

  3. Real talk. However, we are the product of our environment, Nigeria is very patriarchal when it comes to public offices, this practice stems from homes.

    It is possible for a woman to be Nigeria president tomorrow, such a person has to be twice as good all round than the best man she is running against. This is why world wide now, there are increasing number of people advising women to pull one another up so we have more options to pick from.

    Liked by 2 people

    • You got that right Tikeetha. We really have to do better. A number of women are going through stuff… Painful one at that, we shouldn’t add salt and pepper to the injury. Instead we should say.. “hey I am here if you need me”.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. I love this piece and the photos keep it light 🙂 I’ve worked in female dominated field most of my career and it’s not often been pleasant. Thankfully I’m surrounded by healthy female professionals at the moment. Don’t hate, congratulate!

    Liked by 1 person

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