Feeling a Little Under the Weather… Cheer up, Its going to be OK.

Thank God it’s Friday. I have been pressed for time putting together programs to be submitted for broadcast during my fours weeks vacation. Putting pen to paper or typing any words to post on my blog is like a luxury. I hope to have plenty of time to do that during my time away from office work… Hmmmn… Am I not supposed to be on vacation?! 😀

Today I am feeling a little under the weather and moody too but I did manage to get out of bed and go to work. After chatting with friends and colleagues and friends at work I kind of feel better.

There will be moody days
There will be days when you are feeling sick.
There will be days when you just wish but your wish is really not ready to show up.
There will be slow days.
Hey, it will be OK again. You will pull through.

Loads of love from me.
Adebisi Adetunji (C)

Woman to Woman Talk #12 – Are You Emotionally Strong? How to Prevent Getting Hurt

Yeah… It is that time again when we talk about our own matter as women.

A story that mirrors what I want to talk about comes to mind. It was back in my day at the university there was this lady from church that I know. I will call her Martha. She had this gloomy air around her all the time. Martha had this sad face and she was rarely friendly with people. Everyone was like, “what is this woman’s problem?! Including yours sincerely, me. So we avoided her as best as we could but after a while I was curious so I started to investigate her issue… Call it Aproko or being nosey. I simply had to know and in my detective work 😁 *wink* I found out that Martha had been jilted by a guy whom she thought was serious about settling down to a life time commitment in marriage with her.

Martha was hurting I could see and I empathized with her seriously. Here is the real gist:

Her Prince charming had been dotting on her taking her out on a number of dates. Martha assumed that all the time spent together in each other’s company meant that he really wanted to be with her. One day this man showed up with a wedding card invitation! Martha’s world spun and she was devastated. Her man was only enjoying her company but never wanted it to go beyond this.
His defense was this “But I never proposed marriage to you”. But he had been eating good home made meals at her place. He had also been taking her out to eateries and everyone thought they were an item together before he dropped the bomb shell of not been interested.

The crux of the matter here lady: You have to be emotionally smart! If a guy possibly even your very good friend begins to spend more time than necessary with you then you need to ask point blank, where the relationship is going. Define such a relationship so you don’t get your high hope of having found love dashed.

You have to be emotionally smart!

So lady, do not allow your emotions to overrule good judgment. Protect yourself by being emotionally intelligent. I am not saying you should not have friends or be too defensive when dealing with men in your life. Be friendly but wise. Stop wearing your heart on your sleeve. Don’t jump to a conclusion that the guy who is doting all over you really wants to take the relationship further.

Don’t jump to a conclusion that the guy who is doting all over you really wants to take the relationship further.

And you need to understand that some men test the waters. By this I mean they have you and probably two or three other ladies in mind… Not funny but it happens.

In case your heart has been broken once or more times than you can count hey hugs from me. You will rise and find love again. Do not stop your life because of a heart break. Cry and allow yourself to heal.

Your scars should not keep hurting you for the rest of life. Let them be a reminder of how you have grown and become better.
Your scars can lead to good and great testimonies.

Loads of love to every woman/Lady hurting.

Photo Credit: The Single Woman Blog(Heart Broken by – Mandy Hale

Adebisi Adetunji (C)

Sights from – A Yoruba Traditional Wedding – Congratulations Oyinkansola Ajayi

A Guest post contributor, Oyinkansola Peter-Ajayi to femininematerz celebrated her traditional wedding a few days ago. A big congratulations to a dear sister! God bless your new home and family

Here is a link to one of her post : What is the connection between yellow fever and bleaching

    Oyinkansola and heartthrob cutting the engagement cake

 

 

Groom and friends prostrate in honor to the brides family.
Bride – Oyinkansola is ushered in with music.
Bride & Mother (Olukemi Ajayi – Ace Broadcaster)
Mother of the bride ushered in dancing with friends.

Adebisi Adetunji (C)

Woman to Woman Talk #11 – Step up Your Game – Staying Healthy & Clean

Well hello there…How has your life been? What have you been up to lately? I totally hope and pray that your life has been easy…hmmmn it might be really tough now with all you have to joggle. Some things are just out of our control but wherever your life is at right now, hey it can be better. So take one day at a time; one moment at a time.

My crux of the matter today is simply about how to maintain a healthy life style, a clean and tidy living environment. It starts with taking care of your body. Besides taking your bath how else can you take care of your body?

I know a lot of us ladies like to look prim, proper and beautiful after all looks are everything to a woman. Now some ladies don’t really care about all that make up stuff. They just want to maintain a simple outlook so they go for easy to wear stuff but girl you need to pep up your appearance sometimes. A good massage, full makeover, a new dress and shoe is definitely a nice way of treating yourself special.

 Lady you need to pay attention to been clean inside and out.

Tips for maintaining good body hygiene and cleanliness
Take a shower not only in the mornings, when you get back from the day’s work is a good time to take a warm or cold bath whichever you prefer. It freshens you up and kind of like a massage to your aching and tired body. Then you are also able to get rid of dirt and sweat making you appealing to yourself and husband just in case some snuggling and intimacy thing will happen *wink*
Shave your armpit and vagina(some people like to trim instead). This makes it easy to wash off sweat and clean your private area. I know you use deodorant and roll-on but nothing better than good old water and soap after which you can now apply all the nice scent products.
Wash off your make up before you go to bed.
Wash your underwears and keep them clean. 1) Please wear a different under pant for each day. It is easy for guys/men to wear a boxer for one week without washing it. It is a no…no…no for a woman or lady. This is because we have slight discharge apart from our menstrual blood flow. You are playing with infection from germs. 2) Wash your brazier and inner wear often. Don’t wear your brazier for a month before remembering to wash it, that is simply unhygienic and unhealthy.
Wash your clothes. learn to do some of your laundries yourself or hire someone to do it if you can afford it.

Tips for maintaining a clean and healthy living environment
• Sweep and mop the floor.
• Stop leaving dirty plates and pots in the sink. To save yourself the stress of washing a whole stack learn to clean up immediately after cooking. When you are done eating wash your plates immediately and get everyone in your house to wash their plates immediately after use especially your children. Sometimes “the husband” too should help with the dishes especially our African men …Lol
• Have a laundry basket where everyone throws their dirty clothes instead of littering your room and everywhere in the house with worn clothes.
• Have a day to do your washing don’t just keep post phoning.
Your sitting room should also be comfortable and clean. If you are nursing a baby do not allow him/her to pee on the couch. You are not going to like the odor and oozing smell that will greet you afterward if this continues. In case it does happen that your baby pees, or spills food on your couch, clean with soap and water using a sponge or an old cloth material. This will help clean up nicely and leave your couch odorless.
• Now bathrooms and toilets are very important. Keep it clean starts with you flushing after every use whether it is minor or major, by that I mean after urinating or pooping. Wash your toilets and bathrooms at least once a week. Keep the floors free of water by mopping every time water pours on the floor.
Bedrooms and wardrobe: Make your bed as soon as you get up(An advice I need myself as my husband is the one who cannot stand an unmade bed) He actually makes it on our behalf, lucky me. 🙂 Arrange your wardrobe every now and then. Do not jumble dirty and clean clothes together; it will all begin to smell of sweat!

My point here is this woman:

Don’t just pay attention to looking speck and dashing on the outside; pay attention to cleanliness and staying healthy.

And my dear woman who wants to get married but does not like to clean or do house chores, think again o! You will have to do it anyhow because even if your man is a modern man who is so homely, he cannot handle all the work of managing and keeping your home clean.

Why learn how to manage and keep a home tidy and clean
• You and everyone in your family stay healthy.
• You are able to keep a safe environment where children and even you do not injure themselves for tripping over a wire or handling sharp objects for example.
It’s your home, make it comfortable and a place to come to for yourself and family members.
• Some marriages are in troubled waters because of the woman or “madam”, is simply not tidy and very dirty (Not trying to judge here).

Adebisi Adetunji(C)

You need to change to get your desired change – #Kick Starting Your Week

The change you desire requires a change of action.

You’ve got to do something new to get a new result…or at least do the old things better; Stop been afraid to step out.

If you want to get out of debt:
• You must start paying back having a regular payment plan.
• You need to spend within your earning are not over.
• You need to change your credit mentality.

If you want to move into a new job:
• Start searching for your options.
• Acquire skills and training to get you ready and equipped for that new place you envision.

If you want to start a new business:
• Research your field and know more about it.
• Learn from those who have gone ahead of you.
• Be an apprentice if you have to; learn from the mistakes of others

You desire to move from singlehood to been married/into a relationship leading to commitment:
•Are you getting better as a person? Work on being a better you.
• Learn more about what makes relationships/marriage work.
• Get out and be friendly not in a desperate way 🙂
• Come down from your very high standard that even you cannot measure up to.

You desire a better marriage:
• Be willing to give it more of your love, time and resources.
• Work on your annoying habits
• Be willing to forgive and let go.
• Be willing to say I am sorry when you are wrong.

You desire a new accommodation:
• Get out and search your options.
• Decide what you want.
• Plan and save for it.

If you do not change, nothing will change.

Change your position
Change the way you think
Change yourself by working on yourself
Change your plan of action
Move, move, don’t just sit down.

Adebisi Adetunji(C)

Water is Essential in Health Facilities – SafeMotherhood #6

 

I was at a Primary Health Center(PHC)  to join in on a community mobilization effort to sensitize people about Family Planning and its benefit to women’s health and poverty reduction organized by NURHI Ibadan. While the group gathered I decided to visit the toilet to ease the pressure in my bladder and I asked the nurse on duty to point me in the direction of the toilet. I  was told that there was no water and was advised to pee in the bush somewhere around the back of the health center outside. It wasn’t funny but I had to afterall I have been in rusettings before 😕

It is unthinkable to run a hospital with little or no water supply. Yet that is the case in many primary health centers serving communities in Nigeria. Having worked on a maternal and child health program (Abiye)  for more than five years now many of the PHC my team visited and worked with lack access to clean water. 

Imagine a pregnant woman in labor pains coming to deliver at a PHC where there is no water… 

A few PHC are lucky to have a well or get a bore hole sunk by philanthropist, politicians who need to shine. But most do not have access to clean water to attend to patients.
If there is no water in a facility patients and health workers alike are exposed to serious health hazards.

Water is necessary to keep a hospital environment clean and everyone in it safe and healthy. It’s availability enables constant washing of hands by health care providers to prevent spread of diseases; to have a clean toilet; to conduct surgeries and wash hospital equipments and basically keep the hospital facility clean.

How can we ensure that clean water is accessible to primary health centers? Who is responsible for providing water? What can communities do you help their PHCs access water?

Adebisi Adetunji (C)

Woman to Woman Talk #10 – Empower Yourself by Working

What is Your View about Not Working as a Woman and the man pays all the bills?

Women stay at home not employed in a 9-5 job for various reasons. Some want to give time to nursing and caring for their babies and children until they are old enough. This is a great investment and noble role in my opinion.

A category of non- working mothers/women are the ones who do not engage in any business or at least a work from home kind of job because your Excellency the husband says he does not want them to work. The man is wealthy and has a good paying job so he believes he can take care of his wife and family. And my dear woman stays put waiting for her man to bring home the goodies every day. Fantastic but watch it!

Once upon a time, a rich man tells his wife to be a stay at home wife and allow him to take care of her every need. At first, she agreed but soon the entrepreneur in her woke up. She loved to bake and does catering job so she convinced him to allow her to start her own business. It was tough convincing him but she went ahead anyway. A few years down the line the men died and guess what? His family members came karting away all the man’s properties and estate. This dear woman only smiled as she was financially buoyant to care for herself and children. Her business had expanded and it was thriving well. Imagine if she had stayed at home doing nothing as his Excellency her husband wishes.

In case you are thinking this is far-fetched another couple’s story from a different angle might convince you. This time the man had a high paying job and they were really comfortable. However, he encouraged his wife to pursue her business dream and even invested money in helping her expand her business. A few years later he lost his job and this family survived for a season on the wife’s business before he got another job.

There are women who do not even want to work or do any business. This I find amusing and I also keep my fingers cross to see the day trouble will arrive at their door in the name of poverty/hard times. Some women are the ones stopping themselves from working or pursing any business goal and not their husbands. I know of men who set up their wife’s business several times as she keeps ruining it because she believes that there is enough money in his pocket to keep feeding them for a long time. Each time he invests in a business for her she sinks it through negligence and laziness.

Let me share a few things that could happen with that arrangement of not harnessing your skill or engaging in work:
You become frustrated having to depend on your man for every purchase and financial needs.
You lose your independence somehow.
The man soon becomes cranky having to deal with and give you money even for minute things. Soon he begins to lash out even when it is unintentional.
Tension over money matters.
If something goes wrong with your man’s business, job or source of income you are all in a BIG FINANCIAL MESS.

Benefit of Work to a Woman
Work for you as a woman goes beyond just earning money. It gives you a sense of fulfillment.
Work gives you a channel to use your skill and contribute your quota as a human being to society.
Work gives you an opportunity to make your dreams come true.

When I say work I do not necessarily mean an office job. Whatever you do using your talent, time and skills to make a living is your work.
So get off your butt and get to work. Do something Woman!

Adebisi Adetunji ©