What is your Take? Is a Man in Trouble when his wife Earns more or is the Bread Winner?

In this short video I shared a bit from an issue that came up while discussing with a few male colleagues at work. And the question is about whether a woman treats her man as a footmat when she earns more or has to support the family when he is out of job for whatever reason. Share your thoughts after listening. It will take you just about 4minutes. This debate gets interesting! Adebisi Adetunji (C)

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12 thoughts on “What is your Take? Is a Man in Trouble when his wife Earns more or is the Bread Winner?

  1. I believe the man may feel inadequate because they are taught from small to be the macho provider. My sister would make an effort to thank her house husband for all the work he did in the house with the children. She made a point of stepping back into the wife/mother role the moment she returned home and still he had issues deep seated that he wasn’t a proper man. So in her case the issue was his, the problems he imagined were not coming from her. This was difficult to watch and there was nothing she could do to change how he reacted. So maybe some women do make it worse but first hand I can say it is more deeply ingrained than that.

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    • Thank you, Ellen, for giving an insight into this debate. Your sister’s story says a lot about how some women do their best to juggle the roles but still the man has an issue…hmmm I wonder what is the way out for men in this regard.

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      • Now we are talking the fundamental differences between man and woman. As we evolve and we naturally share roles fewer boys will be bought up thinking they must lead.

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  2. Lemme finalize by what Trevor Noah’s mum said to him in his book Born A Crime: “A man is not determined by how much he earns. He can still be the man of the house and earn less than the woman. Being a man is not what you have, it’s who you are. Being more of a man doesn’t mean your woman has to be less than you. “

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  3. It depends on the woman, and the man. If the woman is earning more, and does nothing more than come home, be with the family, she isn’t belittling her man, then it is the mans ego. Obviously, if she is belittling him about it, then it is her causing it. I feel though, that most times it is society, and the male ego that might be the problem. Society tells us, man is suppose to work, support. The woman is to stay home, take care of home, husband, and family. If that dynamic is reversed then society looks down on it. Therefore without any effort from the woman, the man will feel less than. He will take it out on what he perceives the problem to be(the woman earning more) and so he blames her. It shouldn’t be this way. It should be, we are a team, we are one, so it matters not who is paying for what as long as the bills get paid. Great question!

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  4. I think a lot of ego comes to play here. I don’t believe that women treat men as foot mat when they earn more or if the man is out of job. I think it’s the man’s perception and thus everything the woman does will be blown out of proportion; especially my African brothers. You find women who dampen their desire to succeed and drive to grow out of fear of surpassing their husbands and it really shouldn’t be that way. The couple should work together to create the right balance.

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    • This ego of our men hen na real gehgen! I believe once it is the ego thing then truly everything the woman does will be blown out of proportion. Women need serious wisdom and patience in handling this issue. Thanks for subscribing to my YouTube page.

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    • I am delighted to have a man’s perspective on this issue. Understanding is really what we need. Sometimes the table turns and the man is not able to handle the bills at least better than he wishes. It is not his fault neither is it that of the woman. So instead of beating himself badly mentally and then hurt his woman emotionally, he should be grateful that they are both not totally down and out financially. Again understanding and working together as a team is key here.

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