SUCCESS TIPS #2: PUSH YOURSELF – STEP OUT OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE

Credit: HD Motivation Wall Paper

Nothing can stop you except YOU
Nothing can stop you except you permit it too.

Are you happy with your life as it is or Is there more you can achieve? There is certainly a lot you can do and still achieve. A friend once thought that clocking 50 years old stops you from going forward to achieve his dreams but I said NO! You see I believe anything is possible and dreams can come through regardless of age. What you need is determination and then take steps in the direction you want to go no matter how small.

The Starting Point:
Write down what you want to do or achieve.
Research into it by reading up on information about your idea.
Talk to people who are already succeeding at what you are doing to learn from them.
Network and share your idea with people who can counsel you right. Note: Don’t share your dreams with people who would kill it even before it takes off or even steal your idea.

See you are already taking steps in the right direction by doing all the above.

Keep writing down all you are learning about your idea and vision. This will help you to start having a focus and direction on how you want to go about achieving this dream.
Engage modern tools and platforms such as the social media: Don’t say I am old school or not comfortable with all these new gadgets. These platforms help to sell and promote you/idea to a global audience and quickly too.
When it is time to step out, stop hesitating step out: Do it on a small scale at first to test your idea. Then as you get results, attempt to make it bigger.
DO NOT BE AFRAID TO MAKE MISTAKES: THE BEST IDEAS AND SUCCESSFUL BUSINESSES HAVE A HISTORY OF MISTAKES TOO.

Stop being comfortable in your zone; Risks are worth it if you want to look back in your life regretting.

Adebisi Adetunji (C)

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Looking for a Job after Graduation and NYSC?

Do not just settle for anything, know what you want out of life.

So you have graduated from school and you think any job will do as long as you are able to earn some money? This is leaving your future to chance; it is also a time waster.

Students Nigeria

During my time at the National Youth Service (NYSC) camp days many years ago we had different organizations coming to pooch on young school graduates like us to give employment to in their companies. They wanted energetic young men and women who will help drive the vision of their organizations and move it to the next level. I remember a number of banks came asking us to fill some forms while preparing for aptitude tests and it was an opportunity many of us hoped would land us a job with a cool pay. I mean with all this wahala of unemployment, it was a great opportunity to seal one’s employment even before we started our National Youth Service.

I knew banking was not the kind of job I wanted to do. You see I had three kinds of jobs I was really interested in doing. In fact, I had written them down in a jotter and looked forward to landing one of them. My options were being a Lawyer, Teacher or Media personnel. So you see banking was not for me. In my employment journey, I have practiced as a teacher and landed finally in the media. And I do seriously enjoy what I do even with all the hard work. `

How not to settle for just any job and Land Your Dream Job/Career
Discover yourself: What comes naturally to you? What kinds of jobs would you like to do? What are your areas of interests? What do you love to do?
Money is important but that is not the first thing to consider when seeking to be gainfully employed. Enjoying what you would spend at least 8 hours of your time or even more every day is very important. It may not matter to you now but it will a few years down the line by which time you have wasted so much time.
What you dream of and desire is what you will attract. When you are clear about or at least have an idea of the kind of job you will like to do then opportunities of that nature will come rolling your way.
Be willing to start small and gather the needed experience for that dream job/opportunity.
While gaining experience from your small level, keep developing yourself. Enrol in professional courses relevant to the kind of job you dream of having. It isn’t always about money; there are many free online courses. So instead of using your time on the social media chatting away use it to search for courses that will equip you with needed skills.
Now this one(Warning): Mind what you post or share on the social media, you might be selling yourself negatively. Employers of labor and companies check the social media accounts of their intending employees.
The money will eventually come rolling in. Are you willing to develop and grow to become so much more than you ever dream?

What has worked for me in my career Journey

  • Pursuing jobs that march my skills, talents, and passions.
  • Willingness to give my best shot at whatever task or job I am opportune to handle.
  • Slow and steady wins the race.
  • Most importantly Trust in God who has great plans for my life and he unfolds them gradually and I love what is coming up!

All the best with  your dreams, pursuit and job hunt!

Adebisi Adetunji (C)

SINGLE MOMHOOD #1: How to Move On In spite of your Pain & Hurt

This post is the first in the series on Single Parenthood, particularly for moms. As I said in a previous post  (How can one show support, love, and understanding to single parents -moms)  my heart is with every single mum reading this. So this series is about looking into the issues of concern in the life of single mums and together we try to offer support to each other. I am not a single mum but I have been in the forefront of supporting and been there for a few people ranging from close family members and others in my close niche. I must say that it is tough, turbulent, emotionally and physically draining for these mothers. Many times even those of us trying to help and support can only do our best; we simply cannot fully understand their struggles. So here I am hoping to reach out to a wider audience of single mums, saying that hey…you are not alone! Wrap your arms around your chest, smile and hug yourself. Now that is a hug from me saying, I love you and you are doing a great job. If you are not a single mum but reading this please give a warm hug to a single mum you know and tell them that it will be okay.

It is time to open the curtain to take a look at what is up here:
Often I see and meet women who are saddled with caring for their children alone with little or no support. Single motherhood happens for a number of reasons ranging from loss of a spouse, divorce/separation, and teenage pregnancy, unwanted pregnancy by the father of the baby who is not ready to take responsibility; and grandmas or older adults taking care of their children or children belonging to other family members. More often than not we find that more women than men have found themselves in the corridor of single parenting task.

How you became a single mother is not the issue here, in fact, I want you to move beyond what happened so you can enjoy your life. This is easier said than done I know, but life must go on. If you have been hurt through divorce/separation or by a father who was not ready to have a child leaving you all alone to take care of that baby; you need to break free by letting go in forgiveness. Yes, forgive the one who hurt you. Hard sometimes but forgiving the one that hurt you is simply doing yourself a favor; it is having control over your life and emotions.

How? When you hold onto the hurt and refuse to forgive, the other person though not physically present has control over your life and thoughts. Holding that grudge and hurt gives room for bitterness which in turn would hurt your health. Studies have shown that bitterness, anger and depression leads to health problems. So you need to work on letting go.  Not letting go will, in turn, affect a possible relationship with someone else and your love life too. So before you can move on, you need to cross that line of forgiving the person that hurt you. I once was deeply hurt by someone dear to me, it was difficult forgiving and letting go but my way around it was to pray and ask God to help me forgive. Of course I cried a number of times, allowed myself to heal emotionally but finally, I arrived at the point of being able to forgive. Does this mean that I don’t remember the issue? Absolutely I still do but not with pain or hurt in my heart. I feel free and I am able to forge a new relationship even with the person.

Speaking of that, If the father of your child/children is still very much alive (now don’t go wishing him dead) he probably will be involved in the life of his children at some point. You will both have to deal with caring for the children or support issues. You cannot keep being angry every time you have to deal with each other…It makes your life miserable.

Remember you may not be able to control the choices of your partner that left you in that single mumhood position but you can control how you deal with it. You can say hey…My life doesn’t stop; I am living the best of my life. So still enjoy your life, for when you are happy your child/children can have you as a support because they are also dealing with their own emotions about all that is going on.

If you have to deal with the loss of a spouse I pray that you will be comforted on all sides; time will heal your wounds. This is not to belittle your pain but I want you to know that you will smile again.

The point of this first post is that you need to forgive and start your healing process to be able to move on and live life to its fullest. And don’t go blaming yourself or others or even God. These things do happen.

Our trials and tough times can make us stronger and even open the door to greater beautiful things in our lives.

For I know the plans that I have for you; Plans of good and not of evil. To give you a hope and a future and to bring you to an expected end (A good end). Jeremiah 29:11.

Please, I cannot do this alone – I mean support & Help for Single Mums: Share your thoughts about how you are coping and healing as a single mum. Feel free to post questions that others going through the same things can help you with. If you would also like to share a story or experience that will help others please write and send to my email – bisimodupe1975@gmail.com. Thank you.

Adebisi Adetunji (C)

Maternal & Child Health : Best Female Journalist (NAWOJ), 2017

Yippee…  at the just concluded Nigeria Association of Women Journalists(NAWOJ)  Press week events,  Stella Oyebanji emerged as the Best Female Journalist in Oyo State, on the Maternal, Newborn and Child Health reporting Competition.

Stella is part of my team on the Abiye (maternal & child health) radio education project. We are so proud of her. Kudos girl, keep flying high!!

Adebisi Adetunji (C)

 

 

Woman to Woman Talk #21 – Are you Bogged Down with What to Cook after Work? You are Not Alone – Tips for Planning Meals

Have you ever experienced that frustrating feeling when you look at your wristwatch or office wall clock and it is almost closing time; then you suddenly remember you have no idea of what to cook for your family when you get home? Many times I listen to colleagues exclaim: “Oooooh what are we even going to eat this evening”. Then other female folks join in saying “That’s true, I don’t know what to cook for my family too”. And then we go on to console ourselves or should I say make ourselves feel even worse with words like: “Ah the life of a woman”.

I don’t know about you, cooking is a matter of necessity for me; I do my best to make good meals. But some women love to cook and you find them trying a variety of recipes. One of my sisters loves to experiment and so at family gatherings/event she often comes up with a new soup and would want us all to try it. I really do admire what she does but me…” long story”.

A dear friend and colleague, Stellamaris who by the way is packaging some Nigerian soup recipes for this blog love to cook…and men, she really can cook!! Ladies like her are ever in the market space shopping for ingredients. It is an almost every other daily activity, count me out. I mean I even plan the precise amount of time I want to spend in the market; I call it shopping sharply and smartly…hehehe. Please o, don’t blame me.

Shopping for ingredients and foodstuff to prepare meals is one thing and cooking is another part of the kitchen palava. Sometimes your food store is well stocked with a variety of food items you can prepare and yet you have headaches about what to cook. Yes, I do, I don’t know about you. The problem is not a want for food but about been skillful in preparing variety so that your menu is not monotonous

So how do we make things easier on ourselves when it comes to preparing meals?
Good old fashion, food timetable works wonders. However, that would mean having all the variety in your timetable available in the house. Sometimes this is not workable. So you might need to also be flexible with your timetable.
Learn a few new recipes from your family and friends who love to cook. This you can try out to give yourself and family a variety of meals.
• It is advisable to buy foodstuffs in bulk to save cost and to also refrigerate them appropriately.
Have a day or days in the month when you prepare a variety of soups and stock in the freezer. This will help you prepare only what you need to accompany the soup such as rice or if you are very Nigerian, solid foods like Fufu, Eba, Amala, Akpu.
Do not hesitate to ask for help from those who love to cook *wink. If they are willing to do it for free – good for you but if not be willing to pay for the services. They will help you to make various soups in large quantity and then you can preserve in your deep freezer!
Sometimes offer to take your family out if you can afford it or get your man to take you all out. The trick to that…”Yawn and lament about how tired you really are if you are both riding in the same vehicle on your way home…hahaha….It is nice to have cooking free days.
Plan, plan, plan your meals as best as you can.

Have a stress free cooking life woman!

Adebisi Adetunji (C)

Maternal & Child Health : Two Mothers Who Wouldn’t Register for Antenatal Care/Vaccinate Their Children

Once while at Ankor Market in Eruwa, Oyo State with a team on community interaction with mothers about registering for antenatal and immunizing their babies, we came across a few women that surprised us.

One of the women was a young pregnant mother selling stuff in the market. We asked whether she had registered at the hospital for antenatal care and she said she didn’t have the time yet. She travels to the farm to bring goods to sell in the market and was just too busy. It was a thing of concern to my Abiye team(maternal and child health media education team) and I. So here we were in the middle of the market with all the ambiance of bargaining going on attempting to convince this woman to register herself and unborn child at the antenatal clinic. We did our best to educate her on the importance of antenatal care to having a healthy baby and safe delivery.

Moving further down in the market we met a nursing mother with her baby strapped to her back. She was there to buy some foodstuff. In our chat with her, we tried to find out if she had been taking her baby for his immunization doses. This mother responded that she didn’t believe in immunizing her children. To her, it was not necessary and she even feared that it might be harmful to her baby. We were flabbergasted at her “ignorance”. My thought was… “Do people still think like this at this age”? We soon found out that there were others like her in that same market and community.

Again we engaged her in a dialogue to educate her about the importance of immunizing her children to their wellbeing. I enlightened her about the fact that vaccines protect children from childhood diseases that could be fatal. This woman was busy smiling and shaking her head, it didn’t look like she would take our advice and there wasn’t much we could do about it.

Many others like these women whose stories I just Shared really need to be better educated.

It is easy to think that with all the campaign to create awareness about the safety net of immunizing babies and children,  people would take it seriously. Unfortunately, there are still those who have a bias and are not properly informed. Community education is still very important and must continue.

As we mark another world Polio day today 24th October 2017, encourage every mother in your community to go immunize their babies to protect their lives and future. Polio is a crippling disease that is iireversible but can be prevented through immunization.

Encourage expectant mothers to also register for antenatal care where they are likely to have proper education about immunization services for their babies.

Adebisi Adetunji (C)

Help me Here – How Can One Show Support, Love & Understanding to Single Parents(Moms)

Pinterest : A free online magazine for Single Moms

This post was inspired by a stirring in my heart. And so I take it seriously and really want to feel the pulse of people. So I need your contributions whether from personal experience or from observing a family member or friend.

Background to this
I was watching a movie last night and the story line centered on four struggling women. It is a story of friendship & support, family and career struggles. These women mirrored the reality of some women. Out of the four women, three of them had relationship issues, in fact one of them became a single mother of two after going through a divorce. The fourth woman in the group seemingly had a happy marriage and a great career. She was the envy of others and also gave hope to many. However all was not well. At the end of the movie she had to walk away from the marriage and build her life afresh.

Where I am going with this story :
I do not intend to waste your time. The issue here was my attitude to these women’s lives. I judged them quickly labeling them with titles I wouldn’t like to list here. This is not right. But to sum up my feeling I thought … “Their bad choices got them to where they were now”. I even felt that these women were bad examples for those of us wanting a well packaged life. I have no right to judge these women who are faced with issues beyond them. And so I am sorry for not extending an arm of love and kindness.

Hmmmn… When things are working for you, remember that you are only enjoying the mercies of God.

And bam! The Lord started to prompt me in my heart. He showed me how even in church we raise our noses at the single parents especially women… Wondering how they got left alone to take care of their children ; wondering whether she was careless and got herself pregnant! Again that judging attitude…

Questions that popped up in my heart were these:

  • How have I showed sincere love, care and support for the single parents in church and even in my circle? I must say not much or nothing intentional in my opinion.
  • Do we have programs that cater for the needs of our single parents/moms? I mean there is always programs for the married, youth, ministers etc but not for single parents.
  • What can we begin to do about reaching out to them? God loves them and has great plans for them.

This is where you help me:

Please share your thoughts on how we can better support single parents(moms).

This is not a data gathering post or just wanting to publish for publishing sake… I want to begin to do something about supporting single parents in my sphere of influence.

And if you are a single parent… I want you to know that you are not alone. You are strong, brave and doing your best with raising your children… Never forget that. 🌸🌸💝

Come unto me all you that labor and are heavy Laden, and I will give you rest. Matthew 11:28

Adebisi Adetunji (C)