Speaking out Against Gender Based Violence for #16days #GBV

 

25th November – 10th December are 16 days to bring to fore issues surrounding gender based violence every year.

I am hoping it will all not end on the talk tables. On femininematerz we will take a look at progress made in ending gender based violence and areas work still needs to be done.

The first step to putting a stop to GBV is for those who suffer in silence to speak up. Don’t die in silence, there is help out there.

This discussion continues in a next post…

Adebisi Adetunji (C)
BusyBee Media for Social Change & Development.
Email – bisimodupe1975@gmail.com

People, Places and Sights From My Travels

Meeting People, making new friends and catching up with old friends and family is the best part of our successes.

Visit to Spar biggest shopping mall in Portharcourt in company of family in-laws
Participants at media review meeting workshop on ending FGMC
Walking to the conference hall for media review meeting on Pim pim pim drama – ending FGMC with a dear friend – Joyce Unegbu
At Spar shopping mall in Portharcourt. Standing beside a television that costs over 2million Naira!! I had to take this photo😀

Places and Sights teach us a lot about the culture and life of others. And most importantly our eyes and minds are more open to the views of others.

A school on mid day break behind my brother in-laws house in Portharcourt. It’s a window zoom in picture 😀
Front view of the Tinapa Lakeside hotel in Cross River, Calabar.
People making jogging and morning exercise a habit in Enugu. I hear it’s the new norm in the state… Really nice.
Former Ebony TV live studios at Tinapa, Calabar
Dinning area at Tinapa hotel
About boarding the aircraft on my way again to another destination. This air line will have to pay for this free advertisement 😀

These are a few of the photos I took while traveling through the eastern part of Nigeria on an assignment.

Adebisi Adetunji (C) 
BusyBee Media for Social Change & Development
Phone: +(234)-07083403146, Email-bisimodupe1975@gmail.com

Boy or Girl, African Mentality

Simply love this post from the Family Fortress Magazine blog. Girl or boy, it is still a great joy to welcome that child into your home. Celebrate your baby girl a much as you do boys.

FAMILY FORTRESS QUARTERLY

What does it really matter, if the sex of your baby is girl. Girls are strong, loving, caring, protective, industrious and great managers. Do you know that from experience, girls take better care of their fathers.
A couple, in a quest to have a male child has raised a family of nine girls. This is African mentality, and many women are having a difficult time in their marriage because they cannot have a male child.
The problem is usually with the in-laws, that is, the family of the man. They often times pressure the man into marrying another woman. In this age and generation, men should ‘wise up’ and take their stand. Love your girls and train them because these girls are your future.
God bless your home.

MUM

View original post

NET MAPPING OF ADOLESCENT & YOUTH FAMILY PLANNING SITUATION IN OYO STATE (15-24years)

As a parent would you subscribe to sitting and talking with your adolescent or young son or daughter about his or her contraceptive options? This question came up while in a meeting organized by the Nigerian Urban Reproductive Initiative (NURHI) to do a Net Mapping of Adolescent and youth (15-24years) family planning situation in Oyo State.

Hmmmn…it is one thing to have sexuality/sexual education talks with your growing child but another to actually now give him or her the option that seems to encourage engaging in sex. Being a mother I would want my children to abstain from sex until they are in a committed relationship (Marriage). My church mind believes in celibacy/chastity until marriage. And since I was successful at waiting until I tied the knot with the love of my life and😍 I would love to encourage my children to do same. Why would I want them to take the option of abstinence? Having sex means taking responsibility for the emotional complications and other things that could come up such as sexually transmitted diseases; becoming a young mother or father as a result of unplanned pregnancy and having to hold on from achieving their dreams should this happen.

However, the world is more complex than our own growing up years. Children are exposed to all kinds of sexual choices. As tough as it might seem, if a child becomes actively involved in sex in spite of all the abstinence preaching then it might be wise as a parent to educate your son/daughter about contraceptive options that will enable them to protect themselves against some of the consequences such as unplanned pregnancies and Swiss. As for the emotional issues that can occur, I don’t have a solution to for now.

When it comes to unplanned pregnancy many teenage girls and adolescent are at the receiving end. Young people are often experimental and therefore engage in sexual activities. Often when a girl has a baby growing in her womb she is still in school with her future still ahead of her. The baby becomes a threat to her achieving her dreams and goals and soon she and the father of the baby if he even accepts responsibility for the pregnancy decide to get rid of the baby through abortion.

There are alarming unsafe methods of aborting a pregnancy. Some girls use over- the – counter drugs, others swallow poisonous and corrosive substances that end up destroying their internal organs and leading to death sometimes. According to a research report published in the Guttmacher Institute Journal titled The Incidence of  Abortion in Nigeria is estimated at 1.2million induced abortions as at 2012 amongst females ages 15 – 49. That is just too many!

We may need to change our stereotype minds and educate young people about their contraceptives options while also preaching abstinence and its benefits. This will help our adolescents to make informed choices and hopefully, they will make the right choices that will not hurt them and their future.

Amongst Facilitators were:
Stella Akinso – State Team Lead NURHI, Oyo State
Mallam Kabir Abdullahi – State Team Lead NURHI, Kaduna State
Barr. Oris Ikkideh

Adebisi Adetunji (C)
BusyBee Media for Social Change & Development
Phone: +(234)-07083403146, E-mail – bisimodupe1975@gmail.com.

How Many Men In Africa will Go for Vasectomy a Family Planning method? Would you Support your man? Would you as a Man go for it? #WORLD VASECTOMY DAY

Men on a morning jog on a Saturday

Vasectomy, now this sounds like a big word that people often wonder what it means? It is simply a male permanent contraceptive. Usually, a minor surgical procedure is carried out which prevents sperms that can fertilize a female’s egg from getting across during sexual intercourse in simple terms. It is a contraceptive method used by couples who do not want to have any more children.

This is one family planning method that men are afraid of taking up especially in our African setting. This is because they are afraid that it might affect their libido and ability to enjoy sex with their spouses/partners. Even my fellow women clan refuse to support their men in taking this option 😀😀. Rest easy performing a vasectomy does no harm to a man’s libido or sexual performance. Many men worry about the risks involved in doing a vasectomy so learn more about it to make an informed choice.

Vasectomy is simply a shared responsibility in a couple’s family planning efforts know more about your contraceptive options as a couple.

Back to my question would you be willing to try the option of Vasectomy? Share your thoughts.

Adebisi Adetunji(C)
BusyBee Media for Social Change & Development

I Met A Young Lady at a Bus Station

technologytimes.ng

While waiting to board the bus en route to my destination (Calabar) on an official assignment this young lady, Amara(not real name) who sat beside me suddenly sighed out loud. Unknowingly she voiced out her thoughts, “How long will I continue to do this”, she mumbled. I was sited beside her and since we had been chatting earlier on about life in general, I took the liberty to ask her what the matter was in a concerned tone. Amara said she wish a man would come and whisk her off in marriage. She was tired of selling in a shop at the bus station. Enquiring further about how long she had been there, Amara said 7 years.

It has been 7 long years for her working at her uncle’s wife’s shop without getting paid. Amara was simply tired of this life that made her future look bleak. In her mind’s eye, the ticket to her freedom was getting married. Her hope is to have a man set her up for a business. I listened to her talk about her life and frustration then I gently told her that marriage is not the answer to the kind of freedom she dreamed of.

I shared with her the importance of having a job or some kind of trade of her own. Something to empower and give her financial freedom. Our discussions further revealed that she had finished her secondary school education and also has acquired skills in fashion designing(sewing clothes). I then encouraged her to pursue this business while waiting for the right man to come. It seemed to me that she had no choice but to live with her uncle’ wife who by the way had died. The widow housing her is probably doing her best to feed and cloth Amara including her own children.

After my attempt to inspire Amara to pursue her dreams she had this to say”Some girls are lucky; they get married and their husband sets them up in a business. Why can’t my own be like that?”. I kept quiet and thought to myself … “you may never understand the reality of her world”. Soon Amara stood up trying to chat with some men and bus drivers who work at the station. As I boarded my bus on the way to my destination, I hoped that things will turn out well for Amara; I hoped that she will not fall into the hands of men who will take advantage of her.

I wished that I lived in her town to possibly still keep in touch and help link her to opportunities and resources but all I had were my few words of counsel. Many young girls are out there just hoping for a brighter future like Amara. Perhaps if she had a higher education maybe her life might be easier in getting a paying job.

A lot of girls out there who come from a humble and economically struggling background as I have observed believe that finding a husband who will provide for them is the answer to their financial troubles. Maybe a few girls get lucky but often these girls find themselves in tougher situations when the man cannot provide as they had hoped.

We need to educate our girls/women; we need to empower them. It starts with each family, don’t just allow your girl/daughter to only sell for you in your shop, ensure that she is truly empowered for the future. Marrying her off is not the answer to your economic and financial problems. You may soon have to care for her and her babies if the man is irresponsible. This will become a big burden. You can also share this wisdom with people who think like this as they come your way in the marketplace, bus station, taxi or wherever.

Educate a Girl, Give her a better future
To empower a woman is to empower a family and nation.

Adebisi Adetunji (C)