What’s the Rush…Where are you Heading?

Early this morning while rushing off to work I looked ahead through the windshield. It was still dark as the sun is yet to rise and many other cars and drivers rushed by with their headlights helping them to see through the midst of Harmattan and sometimes flashing lights get into our eyes. I quickly took a picture and wondered about the rush of life and where everyone was headed. Everyone had hopes of making the best of another day; the hope of having a better life making a good living wage.

I thought to myself where are we all headed? Each person is heading for a different destination. Somewhere down the line the rush slows down or ends.

Just thinking out loud… What’s the rush for? Where are you heading? Channel your efforts right.

Adebisi Adetunji (C)

An Opportunity on a Notice Board- What She did with It.

A notice board on a national highway. Credits: Alamy.com

There are people that you meet and see every day and simply don’t know their story. They lift their heads each new day ready to make the best of the day. Opportunity comes once in a while and a window into someone’s life opens and then you are blown away by what you see and hear. I got such a rare opportunity with Nifesi (Not Real Name). She is one of our cleaners in my office (Why do I keep meddling?) and I heard something recently about her that lifted my spirits.

Nifesi’s Story – She dares to dream and pursue

I had a conversation with  Nifesi, who dared to pursue an opportunity she saw while sweeping on a notice board.

A week ago I heard that Nifesi now features on the station’s Language (Yoruba) news commentary and had even read a major news bulletin on one occasion. So when I had an opportunity to chat with her to find out more about what inspired her. The road to appearing in the news commentary report started with an announcement placed on the general notice board. Members of staff of the organization were asked to see the management and put their names down if they had skills in presenting Yoruba programs. Nifesi while sweeping the corridor saw the notice and something lite up in her head. “I can do this”, she said to herself.

Opportunities jump out in places least expected sometimes…pay attention and take your chance.

As soon as she was done cleaning, she went in search of everyone that matters and she was advised to start translating news bulletin in English to Yoruba. Nifesi started to practice translating this bulletin every day after her cleaning job. He would then show her translation to those experienced on the job. When she was ready to showcase what she could to, Nifesi approached the news director and programs director to beg them to allow her to read what she had translated. They listened at first politely not wanting to embarrass her. They told her to go and register her interest at the top management level. Nifesi kept going back and forth and would not stop until an audition was sanctioned. After this, others could now listen to what she could do and approved and fell in love with her voice.

You never know what you can do until you try, make that effort, go that extra mile

Even after this nod of approval that Nifesi had what it takes to translate and read news items in the Yoruba language nobody gave her a chance to come to the microphone. Nifesi kept on in hope doing her cleaning job while also still practicing translation of old news bulletin. A day came when those rostered for the news where unavoidably absent. Nifesi strolled in to pick a bulletin as usual to practice her translation and she was given the bulletin to be read for that day. She was trembling and very nervous, carrying out this task that she had dreamed of for months felt like been taken to the court to receive a life sentence. Nifesi in spite her nervousness took the challenge by the bull’s horns and faced it headlong. After featuring as the newsreader for that day, Nifesi received a lot of commendation and that is how she became a newsreader while still carrying out her duty as a cleaner who sweeps our offices and washes the toilet.

Keep pushing until you get a YES!!

I looked at Nifesi in admiration as she shared her story. I was curious and wanted to know more about her. My inquiry revealed that Nifesi while still working on her job as a cleaner had struggled to get a National Diploma(OND) at a Polytechnic as a part-time student. It was tough paying for her school fees. Nifesi would go cap in hand begging the school authority to allow her to pay in installments. Finally, she finished a course in Business Management. When I asked if she had collected her certificate Nifesi said she is yet to because she still owed the school a balance of her school fees. I hope she is able to raise the money because I sense that she may soon be ending her time as a cleaner.

You have what it takes to make that dream happen.

I raise my hands to salute a woman like Nifesi; a woman whom her husband abandoned because they had trouble with bearing children. A strong woman determined to move on with her life and pursue her dreams and goals in spite of her many trials and challenges.

YOU WILL MAKE IT, NEVER BELIEVE LESS OF YOURSELF.

Adebisi Adetunji(C)

How are Your 2018 Plans Coming? A few Tips to help Get Closer to Achieving Them

Here are a few lines to help you stay on course… It is working for me!

Do what you can today

  • Take little steps like writing down your step by step to do to achieve your goals
  • Make that phone call.
  • Call that brainstorming meeting
  • Learn a little more about what it takes to achieve your goal
  • Keep a tab of steps you’ve taken…
  • Appreciate your little strides
  • Keep going steady, take one day at a time
  • Keep pushing yourself to take those small steps everyday. For small things accumulate and soon the big task will be completed!

Do what you can today, you are another step ahead in achieving your goals/plans.

Have a beautiful week ahead!! 👠👔🍟

Adebisi Adetunji (C)

Ectopic pregnancy: Life Threatening – Know the signs and report early for treatment.

This post is inspired by the story of a dear sister whom we almost lost to ectopic pregnancy recently. She passed out and was rushed by family and neighbors to the hospital. It was almost too late! We were all so grateful that she survived it. Not too long after this incidence while in the hospital to do a check-up myself, my doctor lamented over recent cases of ectopic pregnancy. He was sincerely upset by the fact that women who have ectopic pregnancy show up at the hospital almost too late; some did not survive. I sat there at the hospital knowing that something had to be done. So here I am trying to start with writing this piece in order to educate as many people as possible. Please share with others and read up on other materials on ectopic pregnancy.

Credits: iEmily.com

What is Ectopic Pregnancy?

When pregnancy occurs outside the uterus, then it is an ectopic pregnancy. This is also when a fertilized egg settles outside the uterus or womb usually in the fallopian tube. It is also referred to as tubal pregnancy.

It is important to know that ectopic pregnancy is a life-threatening pregnancy complication for women. If not quickly discovered can cause serious reproductive organ damage or death. Every life is sacred and no woman should have to die giving birth to another life.

Ectopic pregnancy is a cause of maternal death among women in the first three months of pregnancy. Bleeding occurs when the tube where the baby is growing ruptures and this can lead to death.

According to a Wikipedia report  the rate of ectopic pregnancy 1-2% in developed countries and can be as high as 4%  with pregnancies achieved through reproductive technology. In developing countries it is higher.

A sign that ectopic pregnancy might have occurred:

  • When menstruation does not show up for a while and a woman experiences sharp pain in the lower abdomen. It is therefore very important to study your menstrual circle. (Know the date of your last menstruation that is the day you started. Be informed about the number of days your circle takes e.g 28days or 30days).
  • Irregular bleeding which can be heavy or lighter

Risk factors/Causes of ectopic pregnancy

  • Previous infection in the fallopian tube.
  • Previous surgery of the pelvis or fallopian tube.
  • A blocked tube which can hinder a fertilized egg from descending to the uterus.
  • Previous inflammatory diseases of the fallopian tube and pelvis.
  • Previous attempts at using technology to achieve pregnancy e.g IVF.
  • Previous abortions

Is it treatable?
Yes, ectopic pregnancy when it occurs is treatable. A surgery is usually carried out to remove the growing baby from the fallopian tube in order to save the life of the mother.

Ectopic pregnancy is a major cause of death among women of reproductive age in Africa. When a woman delays going to the hospital, it may be too late to save her.

Dear woman, once you notice a delay in your menstrual flow and you are experiencing sharp pains in your abdomen or bleeding do not play the guessing game of self-medication! Go to see your doctor in the hospital!!!

Adebisi Adetunji(C)

Woman To woman Talk #25: Who is Wooing Who: Prince or Princess Charming?

Credits : pixabay.com

Once upon a time in a faraway wonderland, a Princess charming proposes to the love of her life in the glare of a mesmerized audience. He stood and watched her go on her knees with the audience holding their breath waiting to see how this love story will end. Princess charming brings out the ring, a token that says she was ready to spend the rest of her life with him. He stood still for a while and then begins to walk towards her and the crowd became excited. He lifts up his Princess charming and holds her in an embrace. Just as their audience is about to begin to applaud, he breaks the embrace and walks away. Princess charming was left standing and holding her proposal ring and as the truth sinks in, she breaks down in big sobs. Oh, the embarrassment in front of their live audience who were already taking pictures and videoing the show! Princess charming begins to scream and then goes hysterical running through the crowd looking for somewhere to hide.

Now this story certainly didn’t have a “happily ever after”, ending that we are all used to. I wish it were just a fairy tale or fiction but it a true life event. Last week on Facebook the story of the lady who proposed to her man in a big mall and was turned down by him dominated the social media at least in Nigeria. There has been a lot of interesting discussions about that very emotional scene as the lady was uncontrollably heartbroken. It turned out her guy was already married…see wahala and gbege!!(Trouble & shocking).

I saw another post of two ladies in separate locations and pictures proposing to their men. This time it looked like the guys accepted. Now whether these photos were shared on social media to create more humor or mock the first event, I’m not sure. The question now is, has the wooing game changed? It is one thing to show a guy or even tell him that you like him, it is a different kettle of fish to now propose to him.

A quick definition: To Woo is to seek the affection or love of someone, usually a woman(www.dictionary.com). It also means to pursue, persuade that person that you are a good person to marry 😀(cambridge dictionary). It is to court, chase after until you win someone’s love.

What many people are saying about the issue:
It is easy to sit on the judgment seat and tear this lady with words like; “What was she thinking! “Desperate girl”! “Cheap girl”, “Didn’t her mother teach her anything?”, “A disgrace to her family”! These and so much has been said about this lady in question. Yours sincerely(me) too has had a few things to say about this lady’s action of daring to step up and letting her man know she was ready to tie the knot. Trust my African clan, we will reel out every rule that should govern a love relationship. It is believed that the proper and honorable thing to do is for a man to ask for “the hand of his bride to be from her and her family”

Now let’s try to be gracious to this dear lady: She had a good reason for going ahead to propose and I only wish we could hear her own side of the story

Frankly speaking:
I believe in the old school way of allowing the man to propose. There is something nice about a man going all out to woo you. And the magic of been treated like a princess when after he had succeeded in getting you to date him for some time, he proposes! My head looks like it is in the clouds but is that not what we women want? Dear sister women being emotional beings do not have the shock absolver that men have! Don’t get me wrong we are strong but when a woman is rejected …. Ask men, it is not easy to accept that no from a woman they dream of sharing their lives with.
When a person says No to a marriage proposal, man or woman as is the case in the main story of this post, it means you are not what I want; it is a rejection. Therefore you will feel rejected; not loved, embarrassed and it hurts your heart and ego too!

Question: Can you handle these emotions Lady?

Why you shouldn’t do the wooing or propose:

  • Somewhere down the line, your man may begin to taunt you with the fact that you proposed when issues arise especially if he didn’t think through his choice. You want to be able to remind him that he came looking for you.
  • I also think that going ahead to propose makes you look desperate and trust me the man may not be ready yet.
  • Men are territorial, they like a challenge so let him do the wooing and proposing. If you have been dating for a while and you are sure that you both love each other enough to settle down in marriage, give him what I call the green light. This means subtly let him know that you are ready to go all the way but let him make up his mind and choose to take it forward.
  • If you propose and he says no, think what that might do to your self-esteem.

Stay cool, calm and collected, that man that loves and knows your worth will eventually show up. By the way, your life is so much more than just being in a relationship.

Adebisi Adetunji(C)

Our World has Gone Mad!!! What can We Do About It?

Credits: Shutterstock

Some time ago a man was seen early in the morning when people were rushing to get to work carrying a little child who was kicking and crying. Everyone passed by as they went about their business but one man noticed and decided to challenge the man carrying the child. The man just dropped the child and ran. He had abducted that child as soon as her mum dropped her off at the school gate!

The world has become more complex as our once simpler and innocent way of life is a mixed bag of mistrust, horror, and chaos. We now want to satisfy our appetite at any cost. The syndrome of anything that makes me happy even when it hurts others. Selfishness and wickedness(forgive my strong language) is the picture that we see on our news screens every day. Sometimes even though I work with a media organization, I feel like shutting out the news headlines that evade the social media, TV, radio, and newspapers. This is because fellow human beings seem to craft and carry more terrible wicked schemes. Will this ever end?

Such news as that of the rape and murder of young Zainab Ansari In Pakistan is really disheartening. As I watched her picture on the placards of those protesting in her community, I couldn’t but feel an awful chill. One camera did catch her abductor on tape and the horror of it leaves a bitter taste in my mouth. “You dare not trust your child even with a supposed trusted neighbor”, it didn’t use to be so! I thought to myself.

I remember as a child my parents could just leave us in the care of a friend or neighbor while running errands or on days they have a function we couldn’t accompany them on. They did not fear us being molested by anyone. In fact, as a child up to my teenage level, you were afraid of your mum or dad’s friends seeing you engaged in anything that your parents didn’t approve of. They will definitely make sure that your parents hear about it! Now neighbors, friends and even close family members abuse those in their care sexually to a point where organs are damaged or a life is lost!

I also remember times when I was sick as a teenager when our family doctor would examine me. My mother didn’t have to stay in the examining room and the doctor did not take advantage of me! Now I won’t dream of living my daughter or my son for that matter with a doctor alone especially if it has to with getting undressed to examine him/her.

My Advice on ways you can protect your child:

  • Don’t be careless. Walk with your child to school especially younger children.
  • Keep an eye on your children.
  • Stop living your child with just anyone. some of us parents even leave them with a lesson teacher and you go out doing your business… Haaa! I hear some even leave their house key with lesson teacher who sleeps in the house when such parents travel on business! Haaaaaa… Danger raises to power 100!!😱😱
  • Teach your child what to look out for in identifying predators.
  • Remind your child about the golden rule of not talking to strangers.
  • Stop minding your business if you notice something abnormal about an adult holding a child or a stranger taking away your neighbor’s children do Something!!!

Seriously parents pay attention, stop been in hurry to go about your tasks forgetting to take those little but safe precautions.

Every child has a right to life and protection

Adebisi Adetunji(c)

 

I just Hit my 500th Post 🙌🙌🙌

I just opened my blog page to quickly type in a post idea that I intend to work on and share later. My eyes fell on the status page spot with the number of posts I have shared… 500! Yes oooo! “Woman to Woman Talk #24 makes my 500th post!! Yaayi… Feeling good and I can’t pass this opportunity to celebrate this blogging journey that I have come to love💝💝💝

I didn’t do it alone, thanks to my guest bloggers and fellow bloggers in the community whom I did share a few of their posts so others can read and benefit from. I have made new beautiful friends here… People from my world and across the world! Love you all💝💝💝

And thank you WordPress Team for providing this platform and the good job you do! I really do appreciate. 😍😍

And my dear readers and followers… You make me want to keep writing… Thank you… Thank you… Kisses and hugs 🙅🙅😘from me. God bless you.

Adebisi Adetunji (C)

Woman To Woman Talk #24: Intrigues of Nursing Newborns (Omugwo): Grandmas & Nursing Mothers

Credits: Grandma Kisses – Pinterest. This is how to pamper a baby with love!!! Lol…

It is a thing of joy for all family members when a new baby arrives. Grandmas and Grandpas do dance steps that had been hidden away for a long time. As soon as news of the birth of a child reaches older parents plans are made for the grand mummy to go and help nurse mother and the newborn. Sometimes a grandma goes to the home of her son and daughter-in-law vice versa before the arrival of the baby.

The baby becomes a center of attention and shared joyful moments between daughter-in-law and her mother-in-law. They forget their differences and celebrate the new member of the family for a while.  But soon the different approach to raising and nursing a child begins to cause a clash. The grandma who has a generation of experience insists on throwing the baby up during bath time and the young mother screams and says, “mama that’s dangerous, please don’t throw my baby up!”😨. The grandma under her glasses😎 if she is wearing one looks at the young mother like, “hey young lady, that’s how I did it with your husband, my son and he is still alive for you to marry!”😒. Grandma also wants to give the baby some local herbs to help make him or her strong, the young mother and father go like, “mama, that can damage the intestine of our baby”! Now grandma is getting frustrated and feeling misunderstood.

Cooking:

The other problem between Grandmas and new mothers when babysitting their newborn is the issue of cooking. Some grandmas want breakfast as early as 7am, an in-between snack before lunch and dinner making a foursquare meal. Guess who has to prepare the meals? The new mother who is still recovering from the herculean task of delivering a 3.7kg baby and God help her if it was not a Caesarean section delivery. So the young mother spends a sleepless night breastfeeding her baby but has to also get up to prepare mama’s food and the type of meal is the one she will properly have to pound yam for mama! Don’t get me wrong, having a baby does not mean that a woman can no longer prepare meals but hey, a new mother needs all the rest she can get!! Some mums a few weeks after delivery end up breaking down and others even land in the hospital…this is not acceptable.

Grandma when you go to the home of your son or daughter to help nurse a baby be prepared to be patient, help a little extra beyond just helping to carry a well-dressed fine looking baby after his or her bath in the morning.

House Chores
Apart from the stress of preparing meals and going to the market to get the ingredient house chores is another matter of concern when a grandma comes to help nurse a newborn. Now this time I am on the grandmas’ side. Some young couples think that since mama is around to help nurse her grandchild she must be ready to do more than her fair share of house chores. Some grandmas simply because they are willing and some don’t want to say no sometimes are made to do the dishes, washcloths, cook, hold the baby at night so the mother can sleep…hmmm very soon grandma will fall ill and all of you will be running in and out of the hospital. I once told one of my siblings who had just had a baby one time to get help when our mum goes to help with nursing their baby. I told her point blank, “mummy is old and cannot be the one doing all your house chores oooo”! “We cannot have her breaking down”, I added.

Our older parents are not slaves so please get an extra hand to help with your house chores when grandma comes to help nurse your baby.

Grandmas are not as agile as they once used to be, making them do all your house chores is an abuse. This not to say they cannot help around the house. They can cook and do whatever else catches their fancy but do not abuse your aged who has come to help you nurse your baby. So grandmas and new nursing mothers balance is the key here…and please be patient with each other.

Adebisi Adetunji(C)

January 8th – 12th, 2018: Maternal, Newborn and Child Health Week in Oyo State

Mothers and Newborns at Akinyele Primary Health Center in Ibadan, Oyo State

The Oyo state government is starting the year in a grand style by paying attention to maternal and child health. A one week long activities which will provide free medical services for mothers, newborn and children in 702 health facilities in various local governments in the state.

Children under five will be given Vitamin A supplement; other services to be provided are malnutrition screening, HIV testing, provision of family planning commodities to help mothers rest in between births, malaria drugs and deworming tablets and more.

The commissioner for health in Oyo State, Dr, Azeez Adeduntan confirms that health officers will visit schools to administer Vitamin A to pupils. What a great way to start another school term as children resume school work this week!!

Encourage mothers around you to take advantage of this free health service…spread the word.
Let’s all join hands together to end maternal and child mortality.

Adebisi Adetunji (C)

Blogging Plans on Femininematerz As the Year Kicks Off

Every new year heralds a new beginning. It is usually an opportunity to take a look at the past year’s achievements and plan to move forward.

I’d like to share my blogging plans with you so you will know what to expect:

  • I am bringing back the serial post on “Dear Diary… TBEE Writes”. It is a fiction and story of a typical Nigerian campus girl which started last year but my workload increased and I couldn’t just keep up. But a number of fans and readers who had been following the story keep asking me to continue. And so continue I must in order to put a smile on the faces of these fans 😀😀. Catch up on the last two episodes here :

Dear Diary – Something Terrible Happened on Campus… TBEE Writes #19

Dear Diary- The Soup Thief was Caught but a Threat is Underway… TBEE Writes #18

  • Woman to Woman Talk” series post where I basically have a frank chat with my female clan😀 also picks up again.

Woman to Woman Talk #23- She Won’t Let Them Do it

Woman to Woman Talk #22- She Poured Hot Water on the Other Woman in her Husband’s Life.

Other issues that falls in my passion groove that will feature on this page are:

  1. Speaking out about ending gender based violence and harmful practices(FGMC, domestic violence etc.)
  2. Wellbeing of Women, Girls and Children
  3. A peep into my life & world
  4. Motivation and Inspirational posts
  5. Community gists and news around the world as well

I intend to also throw in a few spontaneous and necessary posts. As we journey together this year on this blogging space, I hope we can have an engaging, intriguing and exciting time together!!!

Adebisi Adetunji (C)