Shocked & Still Processing the Busola Dakolo’s Alleged Rape Story

Words fail me as I finally watched the video of Busola Dakolo’s story of how she was raped as a teenager. The social media has been buzzing with this story and various reactions has been pouring in. I am so so sorry that Busola had to go through this and from someone that she trusted.

Again as a Christian it makes me really sad. We cannot say we believe and not have good fruit to show for it. Our character must continually be transformed to become better as we grow in our faith. No matter who we are, if you have a serious character flaw, deal with it! If you know that pilfering is a problem, then decline handling the account. If you know that you have wondering eyes as a man then stay away from women and girls! Let others do the counseling.

Remember that we are all responsible for our actions and sooner or later consequences will show up.

The way I see this matter is no longer just between Busola Dakolo and Pastor Biodun Fatoyinbo of COZA. It is between the accused and the people and the support is building. I hope to see this matter go to court and get proven. If He is guilty then he must pay the price. This kind of thing should not be heard in the church but unfortunately we are where we are. May the Lord have mercy.

Feeling really sad😢
Adebisi Adetunji (C)

Family Planning is not Abortion

A disturbing trend of women or young ladies using higher doses of Misoprostol to carry out abortion is on the rise. Misoprostol is a medication prescribed and administered by doctors to induce labor, treat stomach ulcers and used to treat postpartum (after delivery) bleeding. Although Misoprostol can be used t abort babies early in pregnancy, a report by Food and Drug Administration FDA establishes the fact that a few women have died from a severe infection after carrying out an abortion with vaginal Misoprostol and mifepristone. Other side effects that may occur from the use of misoprostol medication include stomach pain, diarrhea, vaginal bleeding. If you ask I will say consult your doctor and get medical advice before taking any drug.

Now the point of my discussion bothers on mistaking the misoprostol medication for a contraceptive method hence the rumor about Family Planning methods (FP)/contraceptives can be used for abortion. And trust our unenlightened populace and my African family who believe in having as many children as possible without regard for proper care for these children, it is an excuse to having more children even though they cannot afford to give them adequate care.

Media Advocates for FP, Oyo State & Mr. Samuel NURHI

 

In a recent media chat with journalists and stakeholders from The Nigerian Urban Reproductive Health Initiative, medical doctors from the primary health care and private sector, the issue of educating and giving people correct information about the importance of family planning methods to the wellbeing of women and families were brought to the front burner. The media was charged with the need to better educate people and dispel the wrong assertion that contraceptives cause abortion. This incorrect information is beginning to discourage women who would like to assess contraceptives in order to space births/rest in between births.

Mrs. Stella Akinso

The State Team Lead for NURHI, Oyo state, Mrs. Stella Akinso explained that the campaign encouraging families to take on FP methods has greatly increased the contraceptive prevalence rate which has as contributed to a reduction in poverty. She added that over 1million abortion which occurs yearly are amongst young people. Many families at the community level and low-income earners are now able to decide on having only the number of children they can cater for; women are now able to pursue their business and career goals without fear of getting pregnant when they are not ready. She also went on to mention the various types of family planning methods injectable, pills, IUDs, male and female condoms, implants, Vasectomy, Tubal ligation all of which are meant to prevent pregnancy and not abort after conception.

Dr. Sodipo, Mrs. Stella Akinso & Dr. Muyideen Olatunji

Speaking also at the media chat Dr. Akin Sodipo, Chairman of the Nigerian Medical Association, Oyo State branch, explained the terms “Abortion” and “Family Planning”. He defined abortion as the expulsion of product of conception from the reproductive tract of a woman either accidentally or intentionally. While defining FP as prevention of conception in any part of the woman’s reproductive organ By definition, therefore, family planning and abortion are not the same things. Contraceptives stop the infusion of the egg and sperm and therefore no baby is formed in the first place.

Dr. Muyideen Olatunji, Medical Officer for Health Akinyele LG in his contribution to the discus said that a lack of education and proper information can make people come up with a belief and idea. Therefore there is a need for the media to help sensitize and disabuse people’s mind about certain myths and misconceptions about FP. He added that “there are always three sides to a story/issue, your view, mine, and the truth”. The truth and facts about contraceptives are that it prevents pregnancy from occurring rather and not a means to abortion.

According to the World Health Organization:

  • Family, Planning/Contraception reduces the need for abortion, especially unsafe abortion.
  • Family planning reinforces people’s rights to determine the number of children and spacing f their children.

Adebisi Adetunji –  Broadcast Journalist, Media content provider, Trainer & consultant-@debisibusybeemedia, Behavioral Change Radio Drama, Communication4Development, Social Media Influencer, Founder Beehyve Empowerment, and Development Initiative. Catch me on Twitter – @DebisiBusybee, Facebook & email – bisimodupe1975@gmail.com

How to be Optimistic about your Life

Lately there has been so many stories in the news about people who just throw in the towel and end it all.

A young girl committed suicide because her boyfriend jilted her just last week! Some others simply give up on life because of one disappointment or the other. Things are not adding up for you lately… Yes… But it is not the end of your life. Come on you are stronger than this!

You are not down and out! You are only down for a while so get up, your season is changing for good.

In this short video I share my heartfelt thoughts on being optimistic about your life & situation. Have a blessed & fruitful week

Adebisi Adetunji –  Broadcast Journalist, Media content provider, Trainer & consultant-@debisibusybeemedia, Behavioral Change Radio Drama, Communication4Development, Social Media Influencer, Founder Beehyve Empowerment and Development Initiative. Catch me on Twitter – @DebisiBusybee, Facebook & email – bisimodupe1975@gmail.com

#MondayMotivation Something Good is Around the Corner, Be Ready!

Photo credit – keriannworley. com

It’s Monday again! Depressing for you? Why? Because everyone around you seem to have a job to go to while you are stuck with nothing to do. May be you lost your job or you are an applicant looking for a job. Perhaps you fall into the category of people who are retired!

So there isn’t so much to feel your time with and you feel frustrated and helpless. I am here to tell you this : SOMETHING GOOD IS AROUND THE CORNER, BE READY, WAIT FOR IT!

Be optimistic about finding that new opportunity and job that best suits you. Keep applying, don’t give in. But while you are at it, sit back to really assess what you really want to do with your life. What kind of job/employment are you really interested in? It is not every job that is suitable for you. Yes, earning money to make a living is important but working in a field/job that matches your skills and passion makes working a fulfilling journey.

If you are retired, get a hobby or volunteer your time for a social course or service. You may be retired but your life can still be exciting. SOMETHING GOOD IS AROUND THE CORNER, BE READY!

Have a fruitful week ahead!

Adebisi Adetunji –  Broadcast Journalist, Media content provider, Trainer & consultant-@debisibusybeemedia, Behavioral Change Radio Drama, Communication4Development, Social Media Influencer, Controller Programs (FRCN) Founder Beehyve Empowerment and Development Initiative. Catch me on Twitter – @DebisiBusybee, Facebook & email – bisimodupe1975@gmail.c

 

She Survived Several Attempts of Suicide… You Don’t Have to End It, There is Hope

I just read this post on a whatsapp group I belong to. It is the personal testimony of Njideka Athalia Adrika. I am still speechless and really moved about what she had been through. You need to read her story… Don’t give in to that suicidal thought! I know life can be hard and tough and you have been through a lot. But YOU ARE IMPORTANT & THERE IS HOPE OF A GREATER FUTURE.

Photo credit - cupofjo. com

Njideka’s Story

WORTHY!

I ingested 120 aspirin when I was 14 because I wanted out. I laid in bed that night waiting for death. What I experienced was a floating sensation as if my body was hovering above me. There was a continuous ringing in my ears and ten thousand drummers banging in my head. I was sleeping but wasn’t asleep; slipping in and out of consciousness. I was glad I have finally ended it…

My mother woke me up the next morning to get ready for school, I was heart broken that I was still alive. I couldn’t eat breakfast that morning, my belly felt shallow and empty, but no one asked me why I wasn’t eating.

As I stood at the Assembly ground, a wave of dizziness overcame me, I started throwing up foamy white liquid. The last thing I heard were screams and commotions.

When I finally came to in the hospital, the doctor questioned mother who smirked and said I was a drama queen.

My mother didn’t ask me why I did such a silly thing. She was only mad that I gave people reasons to talk about us.

I did it again at 18. This time I was wiser. I made sure that I had everything properly planned. No need for a note, they already knew why.
I increased the dosage of the aspirin to 300. I dissolved it in a drink and gulped it down. Then, I started throwing up. The maid heard. Screams.
I woke up in the hospital. But I shut my eyes, willing myself to die. The longer they believe I’m still unconscious, the chances the doctor will keep topping the medication to wake me up, then, it will be too much for me system, I will go.

Beep … beep…beep… what is that sound? It is distracting my dying process. I opened my eyes. The doctor asked why I did it? My mother said I was seeking attention.

I was kept overnight for observation. The hospital psychiatrist came to see me. He wanted to know my motive. “Your life is not yours to take” he said. He asked thousand and one questions but I didn’t utter a word. He was booking another appointment to see me when my mother busted into the room and raised hell.

She threatened to sue the hospital, they had no right to traumatize me the more (like she cared), she was so mad that the veins on her forehead and neck was popping out. She wanted to find out everything I had said in her absence. When she was assured, I didn’t utter a word, she took the doctor’s notes and erased our records from that hospital. We never used the same hospital twice for medical ‘emergencies’.

On our way home, my mother shifted all her frustration on me. I was slapped, pushed, shoved and verbally abused. She called me terrible names and reminded me of how my stupid stunts were attracting unnecessary attention to us. Not once did she ask my reasons, my motives, my triggers… She knows.

My mother – Eberechukwu Adirika nee Ofodili had a tough childhood. Her father was a village policeman with no atom of integrity. He was a criminal with uniform. He was a hired hand for whomever needed police protection, the shadier your business the better. He had three wives and thirteen children and never bothered about any of them. My mother was the fifth child of her father and the first of her mother. Her mother made sure she had primary and secondary education. Before, her father could pimp her out to one of his associates, with the help of her mother she ran to Awka and never returned.
When she got to the state capital, she did odd jobs to survive. She won’t tell us what the jobs were, but it was in one of those jobs she met my father – Chris Ozoemena Adrika.
An undergraduate from a wealthy family.

He helped my mother secure an accommodation, started a restaurant for her, and in turn she took care of his ‘supplies’. Though the ‘supplies’ came later when my mother was solely dependent on my father. He had her where he wanted. In other words, she ran from a brute of a father and ended up with worse for a husband.

At 22, I drank 75cl of kerosene, but death eluded me. I did a thorough research. People died through this method. I didn’t. I was once again taken to the hospital. Stomach pumped, doctors wondered why, mother waved them off. The only difference is that this time my father told me that he is the only one that will decide when I die.

I gained admission into a university in the South – South, I was overjoyed. Freedom!
My hopes were dashed. My father got me into a private Uni at Nkpor, a few kilometers from Onitsha and assigned a driver and car to me.
I have never slept outside my father’s house, apart from my nights in hospitals. My life was already drawn and mapped out for me from birth.

My mates envied me. They think I’m a snob. They had no idea. I’m not allowed to make friends so that I won’t mistakenly get emotional and divulge the family secret. My driver is also my parents’ spy. Every movement I made is reported verbatim. I have no life. I am so depressed. My daily thoughts centers around taking my life yet I’m envied by many.

I was never one to have hope or faith. I was never one to think it will get better. I’m never one to think there will be a way out that is not death. I couldn’t attempt again because I was never alone. My parents made sure of that. I was watched 24/7. I had no privacy. But I needed to die.

After 7 years I met him again. The psychiatrist. He remembered me and my mother’s outburst. He was a medical student when we met years ago. He wanted my phone number. I told him I didn’t own a phone. He asked me out on a date I told him I couldn’t. “Why” he asked. “Too complicated “I said. “I want to be your friend, boyfriend, whatever you are comfortable with” he pressed on. He was running a Masters program and started coming into my lecture room, sitting close to me and we would talk about everything except the “reason”.

He invited me to church programs but I turned him down. So, he started giving me books to read, articles and my first Bible. He never pushed me to tell him my story but always ends our meetings with a prayer; “Father Lord we thank you for yet another day. Thank you for your daughter. You have already started a good thing in her life, and we are confident you will bring it to an expected end. In Jesus name we pray, Amen “.

How will I explain my breakthrough. I don’t know the word to use but maybe just maybe Sylvester’s prayer is working (Yes. That’s his name: Doctor Sylvester Ifediba).

I decided to read the Bible and ask God to speak to me through the Bible, since he has refused to take my life. If he wants me to live, he should give me a purpose. Sly said that the answer to all my questions lies in the bible.

I flipped the pages and ended up in first John, chapter four. I was marveled. God loves me even though my life is so messed up!

1 John 4:9 In this was manifested the love of God toward us, because that God sent his only begotten Son into the world, that we might live through him.

1 John 4:10 Herein is love, not that we loved God, but that he loved us, and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins.

1 John 4:15 Whosoever shall confess that Jesus is the Son of God, God dwelleth in him, and he in God.

I couldn’t believe what I was reading. God loves me. His love is for me. I needed assurance. I needed more explanation. I asked God to show me more:
I turned my bible to Corinthians;

2 Corinthians 5:17 Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.

2 Corinthians 5:18 And all things are of God, who hath reconciled us to himself by Jesus Christ, and hath given to us the ministry of reconciliation;

My hand had a mind of its own, I kept opening scriptures and reading: John 3: 3; 16, Romans 3:23, 5:8, 6:23, etc.

I couldn’t sleep that night, I cried, I read, I pleaded to God to renew my life. At a point, I think my parents came into my room, but I didn’t care. I needed what I was reading in the Bible; Peace. I surrendered my life to Christ that night in my room, where so many evil deeds have been committed. I felt a heavy burden lifted off my life. I felt renewed, I had Peace and finally I was free.

I couldn’t wait to talk to Sly. At school the next day, not caring about my parent’s surveillance, I took him to a quiet corner told him of my experience last night, he hugged me and said a thankful prayer to God. Then, I told him my story.

My name is Njideka Athalia Adrika. The last child and only girl of Chief & Mrs. Chris Adrika. I have 4 older brothers who I was never close to. By the time I was old enough to play with them they were already in boarding schools. We never had relationship till date.

Naturally, I was close to my father. When I was around 3 years old, my nanny then asked me a simple question: have anyone being putting their finger in your pee – pee because I always flinch in pain when she is bathing me. I said yes. “Who” she asked. “Daddy” I answered excitedly. She told my mother and she lost her job (or her life, who knows).

My mother sat me down that day and told me that I shouldn’t tell anyone how much my father loves me, that is how father’s show love to their daughters.

I found out years later that the girls in my class didn’t receive such love from their fathers. My father was an animal and my mother aided him to keep her place in the society.

My mother took me to my first and numerous abortions. When I was not ‘available’, my mother ‘supplied’ my father with young girls. I was a sex toy for my father and my mother made sure I was well polished and shiny for his use. I tried taking my life several times because it was not worth living.

By the time I ended my story, Sly was weeping. He followed me home that day and asked my father to release me to him or he’ll expose him. My father of course threatened him with death. Sly said and I quote; “The story is in the pipeline, any day I go missing, it hits social media and all news agencies “.

I think about that sometimes and am thankful and glad I didn’t t die.

I am 58 years old today, a wife, a mother and have had a wonderful life, one I wouldn’t have otherwise had.
I can’t stress how important it is to seek a good friend, a pastor, or professional help if the feelings of suicide or depression overtake you.

I attempted suicide several times because I believed I wasn’t worth anything. Death was my only way out.
Thank God for salvation; for forgiveness; for my faith in Him. For making me a vessel unto honour.

I am Worthy.
#Asurvivor
#saynotosuicide.

Adebisi Adetunji –  Broadcast Journalist, Media content provider, Trainer & consultant-@debisibusybeemedia, Behavioral Change Radio Drama, Communication4Development, Social Media Influencer, Controller Programs (FRCN) Founder Beehyve Empowerment and Development Initiative. Catch me on Twitter – @DebisiBusybee, Facebook & email – bisimodupe1975@gmail.c

WD2019 Official Opening Press Conference Press Release – Investing in girls and women will deliver progress for all.

World’s Largest Conference on Gender Equality Opens in Vancouver with a
Call to Redefine Power at Every Level

Heads of state from four nations sat side-by-side young leaders and grassroots advocates as delegates from more than 165 countries kicked off the Women Deliver 2019 Conference

(Vancouver, Canada) – The Women Deliver 2019 Conference, the world’s largest conference on gender equality and the health, rights, and wellbeing of girls and women, kicked off on the 3rd of June with more than 8,000 world leaders, influencers, advocates, academics, activists, and journalists gathered in Vancouver, and more than 100,000 participating in a global dialogue around the world through satellite events and WDLive, the virtual conference. 1,400 youth delegates from 139 countries are expected to attend the Women Deliver 2019 Conference, where every plenary program and most concurrents feature a young person.

The conference will focus on power, and how it can drive – or hinder – progress and change; and how societies must redefine the concept of ‘power’ and use it as a force for good.

The conference will examine power operating at three levels:
The Individual’s Power – The Women Deliver 2019 Conference will examine girls’ and women’s individual power, self-esteem and agency. And how to strengthen that power.
Structural power – The Women Deliver 2019 Conference will explore and challenge systems, barriers, and opportunities for progress in power relations, including political, economic, and social structures.

The Power of Movements – The Women Deliver 2019 Conference will dive into the power of movements, and how we can shape critical consciousness and marshal collective action for change.
While the Women Deliver 2019 Conference and global dialogue will place a special emphasis on power, the conference will offer solutions to fill the gap on a vast array of issues crucial to gender equality: economic empowerment, women and the environment, nutrition, education, political participation, preventing gender-based violence, health, including sexual and reproductive health and rights, human rights, and much more.

“The Women Deliver 2019 Conference is much more than a conference, it is one important step on the march towards gender equality,” said Katja Iversen, Women Deliver President/CEO at the opening press conference. “We all have power to contribute to a more gender equal world. If we use our individual and collective power – boldly, smartly and collaboratively — progress will follow.”

“The Women Deliver conference will be a truly historic week. I look forward to joining many grassroots leaders and advocates who have dedicated their lives to defending and advancing women’s rights. We know we can’t take our foot off the pedal, not even for a moment. I’ll be at the conference to show Canada’s leadership on gender equality isn’t going anywhere, and that we’re not just speaking up, but stepping up too.”

The conference will take place from 3-6 June 2019 at the Vancouver Convention Center. Additional key speakers include:
Tarana Burke, founder of the ‘me too’ movement
Winnie Byanyima, Executive Director, Oxfam International
Farwiza Farhan, Leader, Forest, Nature, and Environment Aceh
Henrietta H Fore, Executive Director, UNICEF
Ken Frazier, Chairman of the Board & CEO, Merck + Co., Inc.
Melinda Gates, Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation
Waneek Horn-Miller, Indigenous Olympian
Hina Jilani, Supreme Court of Pakistan
Alan Jope, CEO, Unilever
Natalia Kanem, Executive Director, UNFPA
Angélique Kidjo, Grammy Award winning singer
Her Royal Highness Crown Princess Mary of Denmark, Deliver for Good Influencer, Women Deliver
Phumzile Mlambo-Ngcuko, Executive Director, UN Women
Osvaldo Rudloff, Executive Director, OLACEFS (Latin American and Caribbean Organisation of Supreme Audit Institutions)
Ailbhe Smyth, Co-Director, Together for Yes
Theo Sowa, CEO, African Women’s Development Fund
Maysoon Zayid, Actress, Comedian, Writer and Disability Advocate

The conference has sparked a global dialogue around the world through satellite events and virtual participation. To date, more than 186 events on six continents have registered as satellite events, estimated to reach more than 82,000 people.

Canada has especially seen a strong effort to mobilize community engagement around the conference through the Women Deliver Mobilization Canada campaign. With events in every region and most provinces and territories, thousands of Canadians have joined together over the past year to advance the conversation on gender equality.

Anyone can tune into the conference for free through the virtual conference, WDLive, which will be streaming from 3-6 June 2019 on wd2019.org.

About Women Deliver. Women Deliver is a leading global advocate that champions gender equality and the health and rights of girls and women.

Our advocacy drives investment – political and financial – in the lives of girls and women worldwide. We harness evidence and unite diverse voices to spark commitment to gender equality. And we get results.

Anchored in sexual and reproductive health, we advocate for the rights of girls and women across every aspect of their lives.

We know that investing in girls and women will deliver progress for all.

And every three years, we galvanize momentum at the global Women Deliver Conference – our signature event. It’s a bold and diverse gathering, a fueling station of ideas, and generator of action, convening thousands of decision-makers from civil society, governments, the private sector, and international agencies alongside advocates, activists, and journalists to identify solutions and drive change for girls and women.

Media Contacts :
Women Deliver : Bijoyeta Das, bdas@womendeliver.org, 617-953-0755

Copyright © 2019 Women Deliver

Adebisi Adetunji –  Broadcast Journalist, Media content provider, Trainer & consultant-@debisibusybeemedia, Behavioral Change Radio Drama, Communication4Development, Social Media Influencer, Controller Programs (FRCN) Founder Beehyve Empowerment and Development Initiative. Catch me on Twitter – @DebisiBusybee, Facebook & email – bisimodupe1975@gmail.c

Welcoming You to the Month of June! Go For your Goals!

My day has been busy but I definitely must share this #MondayMotivation with you my dear friends, followers and readers. You make me want to keep blogging.

Here is wishing you an energetic and fulfilling JUNE! A few words to just to say,  Go For your Goals, What are you waiting for?!  👇

May the month of June bring your way pleasant surprises. ❤️❤️

Adebisi Adetunji (C) Broadcast Journalist, Media content provider, Trainer & consultant-@debisibusybeemedia, Behavioral Change Radio Drama, Communication4Development, Social Media Influencer, Controller Programs (FRCN) Founder Beehyve Empowerment and Development Initiative. Catch me on Twitter – @DebisiBusybee, Facebook & email – bisimodupe1975@gmail.c