Inter-Generational Dialogue – Bridging the Gap between Youths and Seniors

Once life is conceived in the womb growth begins, the fetus begins to develop and it is expected that within nine months the baby will be ready to be born into the world. As soon as a child is born we begin to watch his/her growth by counting days, months and then years. Soon we celebrate the 1st, 10th, 16th, 18th, 25th and progress to the 40s, 50s, 60s then 70s. So we start to age from the womb and move from being an energy driven youth to adulthood and old age eventually comes.

We have become too selfish and we think that older persons are burdensome (Margret Michael)

In order, words take a close look at that older person close to you or you meet in the bus, street, religious place of worship, neighborhood and shopping mall; you are going to become a senior citizen too one day. Therefore start to treat the older persons around you the way you would want to be treated when you become one too.

Many young people find it difficult to understand elderly persons and this takes affects how they treat them. Older persons cannot understand why younger people are always in a hurry and younger persons feel that Seniors are difficult to deal with. So how can we bridge the gap in creating better relationships between the different generations?

Let me share some interesting points from a workshop I was privileged to be a part of. Present In the dialogue forum was older persons and youths.

Mrs. Theresa Michael the Global Development Coordinator of Momi Africa in her welcome speech explained that the dialogue forum coming under the platform of the Youth Entrepreneurship in Service to Seniors and Society (YESSS) Project is intended to raise a crop of young people who will be of service to the elderly.

Myths about old people:
• Helpless and slow
• Are nice but very difficult
• Older people don’t really like youths and kids
• Young people can’t learn anything from the old
• Old be are old and should no longer live their lives
• Old people are ugly and are witches/wizard
• Young people are cool but old people can no longer enjoy their lives.

She summarises it by saying; “If we want to grow old; why are we hostile to the elderly”.

Old people have emotional needs: Pay more attention to them

Important points from the Keynote Speaker, Mr. Dan Uhimwen of Dagomo Foundation at the workshop:

Gaps Between Young /Older Persons

  • Ageism – discrimination against Seniors because they are old – That they can no longer enjoy life even as young people do.
  • Branding of the older persons as witches evil by NollyWood/Media, Religious bodies e.g “old woman in your village”.
  • Technology: Teach older persons how to use their phones/ help them to be technologically savvy.
  • That the older people are the ones that have messed up the country is stereotypes believe.

Older Generation mindset

  • Youths are Lazy
  • Believe that they don’t need technology that it is for the young people.
  • Feel young people don’t know anything
  • Feel that young people dress indecently/Not God fearing
  • Young people don’t want to work, they want easy money.
  • Like shortcut; don’t

Action Point/Solution: Work on and modify our culture so that young people and seniors can improve the relationship between the generation. Respect should be earned, we are very conscious of respect. True respect comes from within, it goes back to a person’s values.

Youths can volunteer to serve older persons in various capacity: run errands, help ckean/cook for them; visit & spend time or call them. 

Benefits of Bridging the gap:

  • Provides an opportunity to pass on values and skills, knowledge, preserves history.
  • Strengthens understanding
  • Addresses fear that your versus old people have about each other.
  • Visit your hometown, let your children know their grandparents.
  • Helps youth to accept their aging- to know that you are also going to grow old
  • Help to reduce depression and loneliness
  • It invigorates and energizes older adults
  • Fills a void for children who don’t have grandparents
  • Bridge the technological gap; Teach your elderly one how to use their phones.
  • Helps to broker peace in homes and society

Stop the bulking passing and take responsibility for the change you want to see in the society

Over 75% of people engaged in crime and in prison awaiting trials are from broken homes. Therefore the family unit is very important to raising responsible young people.

Adebisi Adetunji (C) Founder Beehyve Empowerment and Development Initiative. Media content provider, Trainer & consultant, Behavioral Change Radio Drama, Communication4Development, Social Media Influencer
Catch me on Twitter @DebisiBusybee
Facebook & email – bisimodupe1975@gmail.com

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Woman To Woman Talk #24: Intrigues of Nursing Newborns (Omugwo): Grandmas & Nursing Mothers

Credits: Grandma Kisses – Pinterest. This is how to pamper a baby with love!!! Lol…

It is a thing of joy for all family members when a new baby arrives. Grandmas and Grandpas do dance steps that had been hidden away for a long time. As soon as news of the birth of a child reaches older parents plans are made for the grand mummy to go and help nurse mother and the newborn. Sometimes a grandma goes to the home of her son and daughter-in-law vice versa before the arrival of the baby.

The baby becomes a center of attention and shared joyful moments between daughter-in-law and her mother-in-law. They forget their differences and celebrate the new member of the family for a while.  But soon the different approach to raising and nursing a child begins to cause a clash. The grandma who has a generation of experience insists on throwing the baby up during bath time and the young mother screams and says, “mama that’s dangerous, please don’t throw my baby up!”😨. The grandma under her glasses😎 if she is wearing one looks at the young mother like, “hey young lady, that’s how I did it with your husband, my son and he is still alive for you to marry!”😒. Grandma also wants to give the baby some local herbs to help make him or her strong, the young mother and father go like, “mama, that can damage the intestine of our baby”! Now grandma is getting frustrated and feeling misunderstood.

Cooking:

The other problem between Grandmas and new mothers when babysitting their newborn is the issue of cooking. Some grandmas want breakfast as early as 7am, an in-between snack before lunch and dinner making a foursquare meal. Guess who has to prepare the meals? The new mother who is still recovering from the herculean task of delivering a 3.7kg baby and God help her if it was not a Caesarean section delivery. So the young mother spends a sleepless night breastfeeding her baby but has to also get up to prepare mama’s food and the type of meal is the one she will properly have to pound yam for mama! Don’t get me wrong, having a baby does not mean that a woman can no longer prepare meals but hey, a new mother needs all the rest she can get!! Some mums a few weeks after delivery end up breaking down and others even land in the hospital…this is not acceptable.

Grandma when you go to the home of your son or daughter to help nurse a baby be prepared to be patient, help a little extra beyond just helping to carry a well-dressed fine looking baby after his or her bath in the morning.

House Chores
Apart from the stress of preparing meals and going to the market to get the ingredient house chores is another matter of concern when a grandma comes to help nurse a newborn. Now this time I am on the grandmas’ side. Some young couples think that since mama is around to help nurse her grandchild she must be ready to do more than her fair share of house chores. Some grandmas simply because they are willing and some don’t want to say no sometimes are made to do the dishes, washcloths, cook, hold the baby at night so the mother can sleep…hmmm very soon grandma will fall ill and all of you will be running in and out of the hospital. I once told one of my siblings who had just had a baby one time to get help when our mum goes to help with nursing their baby. I told her point blank, “mummy is old and cannot be the one doing all your house chores oooo”! “We cannot have her breaking down”, I added.

Our older parents are not slaves so please get an extra hand to help with your house chores when grandma comes to help nurse your baby.

Grandmas are not as agile as they once used to be, making them do all your house chores is an abuse. This not to say they cannot help around the house. They can cook and do whatever else catches their fancy but do not abuse your aged who has come to help you nurse your baby. So grandmas and new nursing mothers balance is the key here…and please be patient with each other.

Adebisi Adetunji(C)

How far Would you go to Make Someone Special Happy?

Femininematerz photo

I have done silly and funny things to make people special in my life Happy in the past. One that readily comes to mind is baking a special birthday cake for my brother’s 10th birthday. By the way the cake didn’t turn out as well as I wanted as I was still learning but we had fun eating it anyway.😀 By the way I gave up that hobby, maybe I will try again soon. So can you remember that extra effort made to make someone special Happy? Please do share with us. 

Recently I had to travel from one end of the town to another to find a Poultry Farm. My mission alongside a team was to collect a number of chicken donated to support the celebration of some senior citizens to commemorate the world elders day celebration coming up 1st October, 2017.

It was a walk through a water logged pathway through the Bush. 😀We got some tiny insect bites too. See more on our journey to the poultry farm and gists about how meeting some older persons moved us in a very emotional way.

Adebisi Adetunji (C) 

Settling in at the Office after a Break

Hello,
Thank you for stopping by and taking the time to read, comment, like or just being invisible but perusing my blog page. Really do appreciate you.😘😘

This week had me settling in and attending to work assignments after my annual vacation.

Vacation?

Ask me how that went? Oh well… A mixed bag of fun with my children and I on a visit to grandpa’s farm; building a tree house etc.

Then I sat down developing an FGMC radio drama serial script. In between, I published some posts on my blog

Then I started to feel bored staying at home and resting… Can you imagine… I should be grateful for the vacation o!

Resumption of Work 

Guess what?  Now that I have resumed work,  I sincerely miss the relaxed schedule and time I had.

Now I am in the middle of working with a team planning for the 2017 world elders day celebration organized by my media organization – the Federal Radio Corporation of Nigeria, Ibadan Zonal Station … Looking forward to giving our senior citizens a memorable day come 2nd October. You don’t want to know what this assignment entails… Lots of letter writing, brain storming session, sourcing for funds/sponsorship… Etc. The Theme for International Older Persons Day: “Stepping into the future: Tapping the Talents, Contributions, and participation of older persons in the society”.

Then I am back already co-presenting on a live family show. I so missed my “radio husband”… Together we mirror the stresses of couples/family life and get solutions from our dear audience

That’s not all… I seem to be saddled with producing all the health & fitness programs on my station… So here I am on resumption worrying about scheduling studio recordings for the physiotherapy group in Oyo State and this other gym guy who wants to wake listeners up early in the morning to exercise… 😸🙅😀

Still trying to work with my story writing partner on the way forward with a new drama series… So you see resuming work after a long vacation is not something to look forward to sometimes📚📚📚😀😀

But hey work I must and I am grateful for the gift of work. So please bear with me if I am not able to publish as often. But as soon as I am done settling in I will do more Posts. Well, tomorrow might just find me ready to publish a post! Hahaha.

I will also catch up on reading posts from my blogging friends and community. Missed reading your engaging and fun posts.

Adebisi Adetunji (C)

#WEAAD – Do pray to live Long and enjoy your Old age? Protect Senior Citizens

The first Gerontologist in Nigeria and his wife

Just because they are old doesn’t mean they are no longer important.
Just because they are old doesn’t mean they do not have feelings and needs.
Just because they are old makes them vulnerable.

How will you like to be treated when you are old?
Treat older persons that way now and you will reap what you sow.

Whether you are family or a care giver treat older persons with love and care. We will all get old if we pray to live long. Life is a circle.

Stop extorting money from that aged person in your care! Remember what goes around comes around. And guess what in my opinion you are only heaping curses on yourself.

Be kind to older persons you meet along the way. God bless you.

Adebisi Adetunji (C)

Empty Nest Syndrome : Coping as an Elderly Person

The empty nest syndrome is something every aging individual must be faced with. We forget in our struggles to provide for our children that they would one day start their own lives leaving home.

Yes, children should pay attention to visiting, calling and caring for their aging parents but more often than not it is not as frequent as one would like. And so many elderly persons find themselves lonely after retirement; after children have left home and life seems to just take a slow pace.

How can an older person deal with loneliness? How can an older person still enjoy life after retirement and children are gone from home?

1) Get a hobby: Time to start doing something about that hobby. My father loved rearing poultry birds while we were still in school those days. It wasn’t a question of space, he just found a way around it. One time his chickens were in a wooden made house under the stairs that went up to our own flat. I mean we had other neighbors. The chickens were not for sale but we enjoyed them as protein in our meals. Now that he is retired, he keeps busy raising chickens, turkey, ducks and every kind of bird that simply catches his fancy. No dull day for him at 70+ as he wakes up to the sound of his hungry birds every morning. View Original Post

Adebisi Adetunji (C)