Men feel under celebrated, it seems there is always something to celebrate about women. We have the International women’s day and Mother’s day celebrated like twice a year because of the different days parts of the world mark this day.
And the men are always jealous when songs like Sweet mother i no go forget you Sweet mother o eeh Sweet mother i no go forget the suffer wey you suffer for me yeee…yee …..(Written by Prince Nico MBarga 1976)
The above song is the pidgin English version of the Poem Who sat and watch my infant end When sleeping on my cradle bed And tears of sweet affection shed? My mother….(written by Ann Taylor)
Enough about women…after all today is the men’s day
So let’s turn around this song putting father wherever you find mother.
Sweet Father i no go forget you Sweet father eeeh… Sweet father I no go forget the suffer wey you suffer for me yeeeh…yeeh
Who sat and watch my infant head When sleeping on my cradle bed And tears of sweet affection shed? My father
Believe it there are lots of men who are indeed great fathers and who would do anything to take care of their women and children. Such fathers sacrifice a lot toiling long hours and staying out late because they want to make an extra money for the family (not cheating on their wives)
Some fathers do a good job of helping to nurse and nurture their children from infant-hood to adolescents
So here is to all great fathers: Happy Father’s day May you eat the fruits of your labour!!
I look at myself and i see that i am a chip of the old block in fact we all are (My siblings). As soon as you meet him you’ll just know that our genes are connected.
He taught me some lessons of life:
He taught me honesty:
I remember long time ago as a young child when i stole what was then known as “Kobo…kobo” with an intention to buy sweets, biscuits and chewing gum. I did succeed at this but my old man taught me a lesson i never did forget.
He taught me hard work:
I watched him work tirelessly at home and at work. I remember that that many of his co-workers admired him and he was valuable to his company.
He taught me forgiveness:
Someone did something that hurt me badly and all i wanted to do was to hold unto it for ever. But my old man taught me that it was better to make friends than enemies.
He taught me love:
I saw this in the way he cared for others and even our dogs were showered with love. I remember we would get scolded if our dogs had not been fed as they should be. I use to hate that the dogs got a lot of attention but now i recognize it as love.
He taught me discipline:
Hmmmn…one episode comes to mind. You know kids can be quite mischievous. So i got into something that was not really my business when i should be home after an evening lesson we attended back then. Back then when schools closed at 1-2pm and you get to observe siester and attend evening extra coaching. Well we lived in a face-me-i-face you (community leaving). Many families lived in such accommodations and shared the bathroom, kitchen, tap water or a well. It was easy to get mixed up as a child with the wrong crowd. That evening i meddled into a fight instead of going home and my dad went all the way to the coaching centre thinking that something had happened to me. You don’t want to know what happened when he found out that i was with some other kids at the time i should be home. But i did learned how to obey rules my family had set and began to understand what bad company could do to my future.
He taught me that school was important especially as a girl:
He would check our school performance at the end of every term and reward us for a job well done. And if you need to work harder at a subject or hadn’t performed as well as is expected, you get a lot of what i call “sermon” on how much your school fees cost. Plus of course a lecture on how you must become a doctor, Lawyer, accountant and so on in the future. Well now i am teaching my kids the same lesson. I am talking about none other than my dad.
Today, 7th August 2015 he turns 70years old. My grandpa entered his birth in his diary the morning he was born in 1945. I got the privilege of seeing that diary today. I am told that it was difficult to get writing materials in those days. It was a luxury and perharps my grandpa was one of the few privileged because he was a King.
I celebrate my old man, my dad and my legacy today. And just maybe i got this passion for writing from my ancestors.
I bless God for sparing his life and giving us the opportunity to celebrate.
Help me celebrate my dad!
Not all men are bad
Not all men are abusers
Not all men are rapist
Not all men would abandon
Not all men are child molesters
Not all men are irresponsible
Not all men walk away
Some men would protect
Some men would sacrifice all
Some men stay
Such good men are sometimes not rare to find
Olalekan Rasheed is one man that stayed. His pregnant wife was involved in an auto mobile accident and she had being in the hospital for several months. Olalekan Rasheed had no stable job. He is in between being a bus conductor and other odd jobs. Bilikisu his wife was simply a petty trader before the accident. In my line of work as a journalist I follow some stories and I have come across a number of disturbing trends. A visit to the hospital reveals that a number of men abandon their women on the hospital bed because of their inability to pay the hospital bills or perhaps it was finally an excuse to leave. There were so many cases of Runaway Husbands. On one of such visit i met this man whom over and over again the hospital staff attested to the fact that day and night Olalekan stood by his wife…when she was unconscious, when she came round but couldn’t speak or recognize anyone; when the hospital bills kept increasing. Meanwhile the baby was growing and decisions had to be made about whether to amputate her legs…Olalekan never left…never abandoned Bilikisu. He was hopeful and he kept on praying for a miracle. Help did come when Some Philanthropists showed up. The baby made it alive and kicking, she is such a beautiful baby. Still Olalekan waited patiently, helping to nurse his wife. It turned out that her legs didn’t need to be amputated again.
The impact of abandonment can be quite great on any individual talk less of a family. Breaking free from the impact of abandonment is a long road to healing for people who might have gone through abandonment by a father, husband, or even a wife. I am aware that sometimes women walk away too,abandoning their families.
The next time you want to walk away, list out reasons you should not. You might be amazed at what you come up with. Don’t let fear, responsibilities, or the complexity of marriage/relationship (yes it is complex) put you on the run. You might be running for the rest of your life because the next relationship/marriage comes with its own complexities or even bigger problems. Be a hero to your family. Like i said in an earlier blog, none of us is perfect, and none of us will ever be. So stop running, stay and fight for your family, you’ve got what it takes to make it work. If you need help ask for it…seek help in the right places.
This is just my way of celebrating and appreciating every man who would not walk away; who would and continue to cherish that girl, that woman in their lives.