While growing up I remember feeling that my parents hated me especially when I had been disciplined for behaving badly. As a grown woman now having my own children I can now “see clearly”! What a miracle (Chuckling)…😂
They say what goes around comes around…hmmm I guess the law of Karma caught up with me a few days ago 😀 My daughter insisted that her older brother cover himself with his blanket since he slept in her room that night. He insisted that he had a right not to use his blanket since the weather was hot anyway. And so an argument ensued and my dear daughter came to me to report this total disregard for her demand that he (her brother) use his blanket. You can imagine my initial confusion…In pidgin language …Chei this children will not kill me ooo…(Laughing)😂😂
I stood from the sofa where I was sitting watching the TV to go an investigate this serious allegation *wink“.😎 So off we went to her room and I found my son her brother lying down on a mattress on the floor across her own bed properly dressed in sleeping wears(not naked)…At least that was what I thought initially. I mean we’ve been teaching them to respect each other’s space and not be naked in front of each other…It is called biology or anatomy or sexuality lessons…choose one.😊😊
After seeing that he was properly dressed I told her that he had a right to use his bed cover/blanket or not and that she was infringing on his “human right” to sleep without a cover (Laughing)😂😂. My daughter insisted that since he was in her room he must use his blanket. Believe me, our children can sometimes say things that leave us baffled. Anyways as the judge in this matter and case I told her she wasn’t right in her demand.
Her young mind didn’t understand and so we argued and I am supposed to be settling this matter o…so I gave my final verdict and told her, she has been “unreasonable” in her demand!
The following day my daughter brought up the issue again and was offended😑 that I had said she has been “unreasonable”. Then I started a definition lesson of what “unreasonable” means… chei…. She still was feeling bad about parenting my usage of the word. I can’t remember what happened again but later that day she declared that she wasn’t sure I was her mum o….hehehe I laughed.😀
Well, I understood that she was not enjoying been disciplined or not having her way. So at that point, I went to have a one-on-one mother and daughter talk with her. I told her that I understood how she felt because nobody likes to be disciplined and that I once said that to my mother. Then I told her that I loved her so much which is why I will continue to discipline and correct her when necessary so she could grow up to become a responsible and disciplined young woman.
She was surprised that I didn’t shout at her or feel bad…I mean the plan was to blackmail me now :😀 But she got the message I was trying to pass and soon she was back to her happy self.
Parenting is never easy but we will find our way together as adults and children. We must keep pointing our children in the right direction so that they and everyone can be the better for it. Don’t be afraid to tell your child No you can’t do that! Don’t be afraid to discipline when necessary in love as well.
Adebisi Adetunji (C) Project Director Beehyve Empowerment and Development Initiative. Media content provider, Trainer & consultant, Behavioral Change Radio Drama. Communication4Development
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