I Met A Girl at a Bus Station

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While waiting to board the bus en route to my destination (Calabar) on an official assignment this young lady, Amara(not real name) who sat beside me suddenly sighed out loud. Unknowingly she voiced out her thoughts, “How long will I continue to do this”, she mumbled. I was sited beside her and since we had been chatting earlier on about life in general, I took the liberty to ask her what the matter was in a concerned tone. Amara said she wish a man would come and whisk her off in marriage. She was tired of selling in a shop at the bus station. Enquiring further about how long she had been there, Amara said 7 years.

It has been 7 long years for her working at her uncle’s wife’s shop without getting paid. Amara was simply tired of this life that made her future look bleak. In her mind’s eye, the ticket to her freedom was getting married. Her hope is to have a man set her up for a business. I listened to her talk about her life and frustration then I gently told her that marriage is not the answer to the kind of freedom she dreamed of.

I shared with her the importance of having a job or some kind of trade of her own. Something to empower and give her financial freedom. Our discussions further revealed that she had finished her secondary school education and also has acquired skills in fashion designing(sewing clothes). I then encouraged her to pursue this business while waiting for the right man to come. It seemed to me that she had no choice but to live with her uncle’ wife who by the way had died. The widow housing her is probably doing her best to feed and cloth Amara including her own children.

After my attempt to inspire Amara to pursue her dreams she had this to say”Some girls are lucky; they get married and their husband sets them up in a business. Why can’t my own be like that?”. I kept quiet and thought to myself … “you may never understand the reality of her world”. Soon Amara stood up trying to chat with some men and bus drivers who work at the station. As I boarded my bus on the way to my destination, I hoped that things will turn out well for Amara; I hoped that she will not fall into the hands of men who will take advantage of her.

I wished that I lived in her town to possibly still keep in touch and help link her to opportunities and resources but all I had were my few words of counsel. Many young girls are out there just hoping for a brighter future like Amara. Perhaps if she had a higher education maybe her life might be easier in getting a paying job.

A lot of girls out there who come from a humble and economically struggling background as I have observed believe that finding a husband who will provide for them is the answer to their financial troubles. Maybe a few girls get lucky but often these girls find themselves in tougher situations when the man cannot provide as they had hoped.

We need to educate our girls/women; we need to empower them. It starts with each family, don’t just allow your girl/daughter to only sell for you in your shop, ensure that she is truly empowered for the future. Marrying her off is not the answer to your economic and financial problems. You may soon have to care for her and her babies if the man is irresponsible. This will become a big burden. You can also share this wisdom with people who think like this as they come your way in the marketplace, bus station, taxi or wherever.

Educate a Girl, Give her a better future
To empower a woman is to empower a family and nation.

Adebisi Adetunji (C)

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You Don’t Always Have Your Life Figured Out #Encouragement

Do you always have things together in your life? I mean are you always on point? Are you clear about what you should be doing next? Do you know where you want to be next? Are you ready to do something really great and profound? Do you want to save the world?

Hahaha… You only need to save the next person to you and the world will be just fine. 😀😀

Personal Lessons :

I am learning to take one day at a time, so should you.
I am learning that the little things I do for myself, family, friends and even strangers matter.

You have got to be grateful for what you have and where you are before you can appreciate the next level 

Today I am grateful for the gift of life, for when I am alive I can dream on and achieve.
Today I am grateful for a good health for I could have been paying a lot of hospital bills that I don’t even have money for.

Little Acts
I am grateful for the opportunity to visit a sick loved one in the hospital and just be there for them.
I am grateful for the opportunity to write this post and basically been able to write something that others stop by to read.

My life is still loading…
I am looking forward to doing great things and been a person of positive influence.

So my encouragement to you… Your life is still loading too…it doesn’t matter how old you are,  there is much more to your life. 

You don’t always have to have it together. Do what you can and watch things unfold.

Adebisi Adetunji (C)

The Sight of a Hardworking Woman & Mother: How tough can it Get?

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This morning I got to the office and saw the little daughter of one of our cleaners. I asked her mum why she wasn’t in school and the whole gist centered around inability to pay the girl’s school fees for now.

I was kind of troubled by this news. Then I inquired about her husband and what he was doing about getting their daughter’s school fees paid. She said he had lost his job and the family was barely managing to survive on her cleaning meager salary for now. She was waiting to get paid so a part payment of the school fees can be made while they live on the rest. You can imagine how much her salary amounts to, not much.

While also chatting with her I found out she had also gotten a loan to enroll her oldest child in tertiary institution. So here is this hardworking woman and mother in between paying back a loan and fending for her family as best as she can.

I was really touched and want to appreciate every hardworking woman supporting their families as best as they can.

It is also heartwarming to see that this woman wants her children to get an education and have a better life than she had.

Encourage hardworking women around you and help support in your own little way.

Don’t mind your business, care enough to ask people how they are doing, you would be surprised at how that can help. It is an opportunity to show kindness and lend a hand. 

Have a great and blessed day☺️☺️

Adebisi Adetunji (C)

Woman to Woman Talk #17: Park Well

Hello my feminine clan whether you prefer to be called a lady or woman, I missed you and this time we do share together. It has been twoq weeks now since we chatted on the “woman to woman talk” series. Please pardon me I have had to put a few things in place. But hey grab a chair and let’s talk.

Today’s gist centers around something I observe and find annoying while driving around town.

Is it just me or have you ever noticed it too. Why is it that when we, women want to buy something by the road side we don’t park properly? I am talking about my fellow Nigerian women oooo! Often a woman just steps on her car break as soon as she sees something she wants to buy,  parking almost in the middle of the road. Soon other car owners will begin to honk behind her; it is simply not a pleasant sight. Please dear fellow woman/ Lady Park well when you need to buy something beside the road.

In other countries you will end up paying a fine for obstructing traffic. So please be civilized and considerate of others while driving on the road. I mean follow the rules of driving girl….

Are you guilty of not parking properly and stopping to buy something by the road side? What’s your view about this? Share your thoughts… 😀😀

Catch you soon
Adebisi Adetunji (C)

Delayed Profit is more Profitable

In every business transaction or deal, one would expect to make a profit. And profits are the rewards of a person’s hard work and investment in a business or project. These days I am privileged to witness some nemesis or should I say rewards of delaying or not delaying making profit.

In offices, businesses, organizations or wherever there are human beings, some people are not ready to delay making profits on their job. People are anxious to make a quick extra buck/money so they would do anything to fill their pockets. They call it smart ways of making money.

How many corners are you willing to cut to make extra money? You might want to go slow and steady to win your race in an honest way.

The honest way always looks slow and is filled with a lot of uncertainty about whether you will ever get to succeed or make enough money. One thing I know for sure it pays.

This is what happens when you cheat your way to the top/acquire money and properties:
• Somebody is heart broken
• Somebody dies because you are greedy and he/she doesn’t get the much needed meager money to survive another day.
• You sow a seed of pain that you will reap a harvest from.
• The law of Karma(what you sow is what you reap) eventually catches up with you.

Good old honesty is the way of peace and prosperity. 

I don’t get it when people steal or amass so much wealth as they can through denying others their entitlement. How do you explain a group of people who manage a cooperative loan on behalf of their colleagues at work and they make others pay in triple interests? They spread their own personal loan repayment on others. I hear this group of people did a lot to short change others but recently their luck ran out. Somebody blew the whistle on them and today they have been sacked after “20-30years meritorious service”. Hmmm, I have also been privileged to watch some high and mighty leaders who short changed their work place and co-workers just to make extra money to be kept away in the name of securing their future. A few months or barely a year after retiring from work they begin to feel the heat of dwindling funds and even start to beg around for money. On the other hand, those who worked honestly and seem to be the “not sharp guys” become more comfortable after retirement.

Good old honesty still works. Delay that profit, wait, time will deliver your peaceful success and blessings to you.

Adebisi Adetunji (C)

Tuesday Musing: Stop Neglecting Yourself ;Take Care of You

It is easy to fix everything and everyone but yourself.

Remember to take time to relax.
Watch that fatigue; that tired and exhausting feeling.
Stop eating junk because you are too busy trying to meet deadlines.
If you break down life doesn’t stop because of you. So stop and take care of yourself.

How to take care of yourself

  • Eat right
  • Delegate duties/assignments
  • Go play golf, tennis or watch a movie if you like the work load can wait.
  • Rest and yes sleep is good and necessary to be able to perform optimally at your tasks.
  • CEO time to take a break; your company will not crash before you get back.
  • Spend quality fun time with family, friends and loved ones.

Build meaningful relationships now because that is all that will be important a few years from now.  

People slum and die often this days don’t add to the statistics.

Take care of yourself. 😀😀

Adebisi Adetunji (C)

Getting Your Hands Dirty in a Good Way – Story of Two Young Ladies

Two young ladies made an impression on me this week. I will call both of them Janet and Rose (not real names) respectively. Janet is a cleaner at an organization who needed this job badly at least from what I observed but she had an attitude problem. Often I hear of complaint that she spoke rudely to her supervisors each time she is queried for coming late to work or not doing her job well. I wondered how long she would last on this job.

Some time ago I remember having a conversation with Janet about not limiting herself to this cleaning job. I encouraged her to think of furthering her education. A few days ago I heard that Janet simply announced that she was no longer coming to work again as a cleaner…I was flabbergasted! Not that she didn’t have a right to leave this cleaning job but I knew it was about her not being ready to get her hands dirty to climb her ladder of success slowly but surely. I wondered what lay ahead, she may get pregnant again as she already had a baby whose father is nowhere to be found.

Never be ashamed or too proud to start small. Small things become big.

Rose on the hand is a Diploma student who came on Industrial attachment to the same organization Janet worked  in as a cleaner. While Rose was a student Intern she was up and doing learning all she could. Everyone spoke well of her as she was dutiful and respectful. Rose just finished her Industrial attachment and it coincided with Janet’s announcement of leaving.

What was baffling for me was that Rose quickly applied to be a cleaner to replace janet in the same organization to enable her to earn some money to further pursue her education!

Why I’m I surprised? It is not too often that I see a student willing to be a cleaner, washing toilets, sweeping offices and getting his/her hand dirty with dignity.

Many young people want to start from the top of the ladder of success instead of climbing up steadily like Janet.

I feel sorry for Janet and wonder what her life will eventually turn out to be. She is ill-equipped and ill-prepared for a life of independence with little or no education or skills. And instead of settling down to working her way up, she wants things to move fast. And as I observed her from afar, she has a lot of unserious men flocking around her and she is really enjoying the attention.

Getting our hands dirty in a good way, is a good thing.
Humility brings exaltation and promotion. There is dignity in labor.
Work is a good thing…It is a gift…It is a channel of blessings.

Adebisi Adetunji(C)