The Sight of a Hardworking Woman & Mother: How tough can it Get?

Femininematerz photo

This morning I got to the office and saw the little daughter of one of our cleaners. I asked her mum why she wasn’t in school and the whole gist centered around inability to pay the girl’s school fees for now.

I was kind of troubled by this news. Then I inquired about her husband and what he was doing about getting their daughter’s school fees paid. She said he had lost his job and the family was barely managing to survive on her cleaning meager salary for now. She was waiting to get paid so a part payment of the school fees can be made while they live on the rest. You can imagine how much her salary amounts to, not much.

While also chatting with her I found out she had also gotten a loan to enroll her oldest child in tertiary institution. So here is this hardworking woman and mother in between paying back a loan and fending for her family as best as she can.

I was really touched and want to appreciate every hardworking woman supporting their families as best as they can.

It is also heartwarming to see that this woman wants her children to get an education and have a better life than she had.

Encourage hardworking women around you and help support in your own little way.

Don’t mind your business, care enough to ask people how they are doing, you would be surprised at how that can help. It is an opportunity to show kindness and lend a hand. 

Have a great and blessed day☺️☺️

Adebisi Adetunji (C)

Woman to Woman Talk #17: Park Well

Hello my feminine clan whether you prefer to be called a lady or woman, I missed you and this time we do share together. It has been twoq weeks now since we chatted on the “woman to woman talk” series. Please pardon me I have had to put a few things in place. But hey grab a chair and let’s talk.

Today’s gist centers around something I observe and find annoying while driving around town.

Is it just me or have you ever noticed it too. Why is it that when we, women want to buy something by the road side we don’t park properly? I am talking about my fellow Nigerian women oooo! Often a woman just steps on her car break as soon as she sees something she wants to buy,  parking almost in the middle of the road. Soon other car owners will begin to honk behind her; it is simply not a pleasant sight. Please dear fellow woman/ Lady Park well when you need to buy something beside the road.

In other countries you will end up paying a fine for obstructing traffic. So please be civilized and considerate of others while driving on the road. I mean follow the rules of driving girl….

Are you guilty of not parking properly and stopping to buy something by the road side? What’s your view about this? Share your thoughts… 😀😀

Catch you soon
Adebisi Adetunji (C)

Delayed Profit is more Profitable

In every business transaction or deal, one would expect to make a profit. And profits are the rewards of a person’s hard work and investment in a business or project. These days I am privileged to witness some nemesis or should I say rewards of delaying or not delaying making profit.

In offices, businesses, organizations or wherever there are human beings, some people are not ready to delay making profits on their job. People are anxious to make a quick extra buck/money so they would do anything to fill their pockets. They call it smart ways of making money.

How many corners are you willing to cut to make extra money? You might want to go slow and steady to win your race in an honest way.

The honest way always looks slow and is filled with a lot of uncertainty about whether you will ever get to succeed or make enough money. One thing I know for sure it pays.

This is what happens when you cheat your way to the top/acquire money and properties:
• Somebody is heart broken
• Somebody dies because you are greedy and he/she doesn’t get the much needed meager money to survive another day.
• You sow a seed of pain that you will reap a harvest from.
• The law of Karma(what you sow is what you reap) eventually catches up with you.

Good old honesty is the way of peace and prosperity. 

I don’t get it when people steal or amass so much wealth as they can through denying others their entitlement. How do you explain a group of people who manage a cooperative loan on behalf of their colleagues at work and they make others pay in triple interests? They spread their own personal loan repayment on others. I hear this group of people did a lot to short change others but recently their luck ran out. Somebody blew the whistle on them and today they have been sacked after “20-30years meritorious service”. Hmmm, I have also been privileged to watch some high and mighty leaders who short changed their work place and co-workers just to make extra money to be kept away in the name of securing their future. A few months or barely a year after retiring from work they begin to feel the heat of dwindling funds and even start to beg around for money. On the other hand, those who worked honestly and seem to be the “not sharp guys” become more comfortable after retirement.

Good old honesty still works. Delay that profit, wait, time will deliver your peaceful success and blessings to you.

Adebisi Adetunji (C)

Tuesday Musing: Stop Neglecting Yourself ;Take Care of You

It is easy to fix everything and everyone but yourself.

Remember to take time to relax.
Watch that fatigue; that tired and exhausting feeling.
Stop eating junk because you are too busy trying to meet deadlines.
If you break down life doesn’t stop because of you. So stop and take care of yourself.

How to take care of yourself

• Eat right
• Delegate duties/assignments
• Go play golf, tennis or watch a movie if you like the work load can wait.
• Rest and yes sleep is good and necessary to be able to perform optimally at your tasks.
• CEO time to take a break; your company will not crash before you get back.
• Spend quality fun time with family, friends and loved ones.

Build meaningful relationships now because that is all that will be important a few years from now.  

People slum and die often this days don’t add to the statistics.

Take care of yourself. 😀😀

Adebisi Adetunji (C)

Getting Your Hands Dirty in a Good Way – Story of Two Young Ladies

Two young ladies made an impression on me this week. I will call both of them Janet and Rose (not real names) respectively. Janet is a cleaner at an organization who needed this job badly at least from what I observed but she had an attitude problem. Often I hear of complaint that she spoke rudely to her supervisors each time she is queried for coming late to work or not doing her job well. I wondered how long she would last on this job.

Some time ago I remember having a conversation with Janet about not limiting herself to this cleaning job. I encouraged her to think of furthering her education. A few days ago I heard that Janet simply announced that she was no longer coming to work again as a cleaner…I was flabbergasted! Not that she didn’t have a right to leave this cleaning job but I knew it was about her not being ready to get her hands dirty to climb her ladder of success slowly but surely. I wondered what lay ahead, she may get pregnant again as she already had a baby whose father is nowhere to be found.

Never be ashamed or too proud to start small. Small things become big.

Rose on the hand is a Diploma student who came on Industrial attachment to the same organization Janet worked  in as a cleaner. While Rose was a student Intern she was up and doing learning all she could. Everyone spoke well of her as she was dutiful and respectful. Rose just finished her Industrial attachment and it coincided with Janet’s announcement of leaving.

What was baffling for me was that Rose quickly applied to be a cleaner to replace janet in the same organization to enable her to earn some money to further pursue her education!

Why I’m I surprised? It is not too often that I see a student willing to be a cleaner, washing toilets, sweeping offices and getting his/her hand dirty with dignity.

Many young people want to start from the top of the ladder of success instead of climbing up steadily like Janet.

I feel sorry for Janet and wonder what her life will eventually turn out to be. She is ill-equipped and ill-prepared for a life of independence with little or no education or skills. And instead of settling down to working her way up, she wants things to move fast. And as I observed her from afar, she has a lot of unserious men flocking around her and she is really enjoying the attention.

Getting our hands dirty in a good way, is a good thing.
Humility brings exaltation and promotion. There is dignity in labor.
Work is a good thing…It is a gift…It is a channel of blessings.

Adebisi Adetunji(C)

One Way to End the Circle of Poverty for Families

NURHI mobilizer in Ibadan engaging two women and their children about FP.

Low-income earners like market women, Okada riders, taxi drivers, Vulcanizers, cleaners and so on have more children than they can cater for.

A typical Okada rider used to transport passengers

Not too long ago an Okada man picked me up while on my way to the office. We got talking about the economy and how life can be difficult. I asked him about his family and he said that he had two wives and 7 children or more …I can’t really remember the number now. I didn’t want to alarm him but I quickly calculated how much he earns doing his Okada business.

It will not be enough to care for his large family. I then asked him about whether his children were enrolled in a school at least a government school. Well, he said he was trying his best to send them to school.

I shook my head and wondered if the circle of poverty will ever end in his family. If he can’t equip his children with the required skill and education to put them on a better pedestal in life then they all remain a struggling poor generation. This should not be so and can be stopped.

Do you know that those in the upper class and even middle class have fewer children? Imagine a man/woman is a multi-billion naira/dollar business owner and has only two children or four. These children will have more money than they can spend and if they are properly groomed and disciplined they will keep multiplying that money!

The Way Forward
I will say, educate as many people as you can about the need to raise a family commensurate to their income and ability. I have people who work for me like my housekeeper, and I also meet others like our mechanic, petty trade shop owner on my street. Hopefully, I can keep educating them about this “suicide” mission of having a large family with little or no money.

One way to end the circle of poverty among low income earners is to educate them about benefits of planning their families and having only the number of children they can cater for.

In my experience some of these people don’t know that they have a choice in the matter; they don’t know that there is something they can do about it.

Benefits of FP
• Mothers can rest between births and therefore are healthier
• Children born can receive proper care and nutrition while they develop. It is difficult taking care of a 3 months old baby when the mother becomes pregnant too soon.
• Income can be managed better with fewer mouths to feed
• Children can go to school and attain higher education.
• Fathers and mothers can have less stress in managing the resources of their family.
• Fewer fights in the family when the resources can go round.

Adebisi Adetunji ©

What Kind of Perfume are You?

1. Some Perfumes smell soft and rosy

Some Perfumes have a strong smell but feels nice

Perfumes are meant to make you  smell nice

Some Perfumes attack your senses

Some perfume get you choking

Some Perfumes make you want to escape the smell

What makes a perfume feel good and nice?

It is all about the ingredient

Use too much and others  will wonder if you selling it as we say in my circle

We are all Perfumes… What kind are you?

Be a perfume that leaves a sense of peace and lovely scent around you.

When God takes charge of your life… You become a sweet scent spreading love everywhere you go.

Adebisi Adetunji (C)

Post Inspired by Daily Prompt: Perfume

The In-between of Our Lives

While surfing through and visiting blogs to read new posts I came by this interesting post by Folakemi – “Children as retirement Plan”.

Fola shares the story of an 85 year old woman whose children seem to have abandoned. She has 5 children who can not be found except for 2 sons who still won’t take her in. Thankfully the state government took her in. The gist is that this woman now 85years old is troublesome and so couldn’t live with anyone. She has had 5 husband’s none of whom are available or willing to take care of her.

This woman’s story got me thinking. Our attitude, character and choices will have an impact on our lives even at old age. I am not judging this old woman… I mean every one of us have a fair share of lives upside and downside.

I read the story of an old man who died leaving not so much in terms of silver and gold for his children but left a lot of integrity, honesty and kindness behind. His daughter was particularly mad with him for not been like other fathers who left great riches. She ended up landing an inclusive big package job with a company owned by someone whom her father had shown great kindness to when he was looking for a job. She is earning a 7 figure salary now.

The In-betweens of Our lives matter. What we do now will affect our tomorrow.

Adebisi Adetunji (C)

If You Were a Multimillionaire or Million Dollar Rich What Would You Do?

At a Radio Drama Design Workshop Facilitated by The Nigeria Urban Reproductive Health Initiative (NURHI) and African Radio Drama Association(ARDA) while getting to know one another this exercise came up.

If You were a Multimillionaire rich you would….

So many interesting thoughts on what people would do with their Million Naira/Dollar. My thoughts went racing as I was blank at first.

Then I sincerely said to myself what would I really do...sometimes you don’t know what you would do until the money drops. And the person sitting by me said you have to know now before it arrives.

Someone said she would cry….

Interesting Answers Below that I would like to share with you:

* Give people back their face – Meaning people who need facial surgery because of previous scars
* Food Shelter for the Poor
* A big factory to employ many people and travel to many places.
* Save lives
* Travel around the world to assist people impoverished and set up a Foundation
* Exotic Holidays
* Help the voiceless
* Free Health Care for All
* Set up a football Academy for young upcoming talents in Nigeria
* Chill out and not do anything for 10years. Then engage in motivation speaking not necessarily for a fee.
* Travel the world with my mom – This one got all the men in the hall protesting.
* Send my daughter to a better school – Why just your daughter someone asked. Because I don’t have a son the man said.
* Change companies and make them work better.

So what would you do with your Multi-million dollar or Naira?

What I would Do: Travel Around the Globe/Start a Foundation that will cater for less privileged women, girls, and children.

This music rocks…Take a listen

Adebisi Adetunji (C)

When You are Hungry and have to Pay So Much… May Your February be Delicious!!!

One time at a hotel restaurant I had to pay over N3000 for this meal…!!! Haha…if not that I was so hungry…

As a woman,  I kept thinking this money will prepare a good meal for a family of six! May the Lord set for you and your family a table of feast this new month.

May your February be Delicious and Happy!!

Adebisi Adetunji (C)