Woman to Woman Talk #21 – Are you Bogged Down with What to Cook after Work? You are Not Alone – Tips for Planning Meals

Have you ever experienced that frustrating feeling when you look at your wristwatch or office wall clock and it is almost closing time; then you suddenly remember you have no idea of what to cook for your family when you get home? Many times I listen to colleagues exclaim: “Oooooh what are we even going to eat this evening”. Then other female folks join in saying “That’s true, I don’t know what to cook for my family too”. And then we go on to console ourselves or should I say make ourselves feel even worse with words like: “Ah the life of a woman”.

I don’t know about you, cooking is a matter of necessity for me; I do my best to make good meals. But some women love to cook and you find them trying a variety of recipes. One of my sisters loves to experiment and so at family gatherings/event she often comes up with a new soup and would want us all to try it. I really do admire what she does but me…” long story”.

A dear friend and colleague, Stellamaris who by the way is packaging some Nigerian soup recipes for this blog love to cook…and men, she really can cook!! Ladies like her are ever in the market space shopping for ingredients. It is an almost every other daily activity, count me out. I mean I even plan the precise amount of time I want to spend in the market; I call it shopping sharply and smartly…hehehe. Please o, don’t blame me.

Shopping for ingredients and foodstuff to prepare meals is one thing and cooking is another part of the kitchen palava. Sometimes your food store is well stocked with a variety of food items you can prepare and yet you have headaches about what to cook. Yes, I do, I don’t know about you. The problem is not a want for food but about been skillful in preparing variety so that your menu is not monotonous

So how do we make things easier on ourselves when it comes to preparing meals?
Good old fashion, food timetable works wonders. However, that would mean having all the variety in your timetable available in the house. Sometimes this is not workable. So you might need to also be flexible with your timetable.
Learn a few new recipes from your family and friends who love to cook. This you can try out to give yourself and family a variety of meals.
• It is advisable to buy foodstuffs in bulk to save cost and to also refrigerate them appropriately.
Have a day or days in the month when you prepare a variety of soups and stock in the freezer. This will help you prepare only what you need to accompany the soup such as rice or if you are very Nigerian, solid foods like Fufu, Eba, Amala, Akpu.
Do not hesitate to ask for help from those who love to cook *wink. If they are willing to do it for free – good for you but if not be willing to pay for the services. They will help you to make various soups in large quantity and then you can preserve in your deep freezer!
Sometimes offer to take your family out if you can afford it or get your man to take you all out. The trick to that…”Yawn and lament about how tired you really are if you are both riding in the same vehicle on your way home…hahaha….It is nice to have cooking free days.
Plan, plan, plan your meals as best as you can.

Have a stress free cooking life woman!

Adebisi Adetunji (C)

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What Do You Do On Saturdays?

Painting by my daughter. Something they do on my phone all the time… Lol

Saturdays come with this need and feeling of fixing, cleaning, cooking and generally getting set for another week of work. I so don’t like to be rushed out of bed on Saturdays! But my house keeper usually comes knocking early at the gate… Yes o, I engage the services of a house help. It is tough and stressful trying to do everything… I mean trying to be a super woman who waves a magic wand to perform impeccably at work and at home. No way!

Please dear woman do not try to do it all alone. Engage everyone in your house and pay if you have to for that extra support and help needed with chores.

Saturdays are also Owambe party days in Nigeria. And trust my Yoruba clan we love to organize all kinds of parties from weddings, 80th & 100th birthday party gigs; graduation from school, freedom after attaining an apprenticeship status😀😀😀; house warming and more. If you are not careful you will always have a friend’s, cousins, great Aunty or Uncle, colleagues, nephew’s parties to attend every weekend!!!

Abeg/please choose your parties. Yes it is good to celebrate with others but not at the expense of your rest time or simply having time to spend alone or with family.

This Saturday at least in Nigeria, we are all preparing our children for school resumption on Monday. Oh Lord help us all… It is the roller coaster season of getting up early, dashing out every morning in order not to be late. And for us mothers it is cooking and packing of extra meals for lunch and breakfast as well… Phew!

Plan, plan, plan your meals and time.

Right now we are in the salon trying to get my daughter’s hair done and ready for school. I still have loads of writing to catch up on and lunch too is just around the corner… Oh the life of a woman… Anyways, I am definitely going to throw in a rest and me time into this Saturday ☺️

So how is your Saturday going? I am all ears… Gist me and let’s giggle together. 😂😂😂

Enjoy your Saturday.

Adebisi Adetunji (C)

Woman to Woman Talk #16 – Are you one of those praying for your mother-in-law to die? Seriously?! Find Out how to have a better Relationship with Her.

We hear a lot about monster mother in-laws. And if you come from some of our tribes it is a never ending war between mother-in-laws and their daughter-in-laws. It is like we are practically fighting for the attention of the poor man who is not sure of his role as a son or spouse anymore.

Indeed there some very incorrigible mother-in-laws; nothing their daughter in-law ever does is right but paying bad deeds with good is the key here. This can be tough, but being good to your mother-in-law pays in the end. Call her on her birthdays, buy her gifts, encourage your husband, her son to do something nice for his mother. After all you would want your daughter – in-law to do the same for you.

Some single ladies are so terrified of what their mother-in-law could do to make life unbearable for them in their matrimonial home that they wish her dead! Yes, I hear of ladies praying that their mother-in-law would die before they tie the knot with the love of their life. Hmmmn…how would you like your future daughter –in-law to wish you dead too?😱

You don’t have to be terrified of having a mother-in-law. Remember that she had to give birth to her son which gave you an opportunity to meet him in the first place. So be grateful for that. Put yourself in her shoes; she has her fears too about totally losing her son’s attention to you. And seriously the mother-son loving relationship is punctured when the boy falls in love with a girl.

So recognize why there might be an issue:
• You are coming from a different background and generation from your mother-in-law.
• Her view of life is some worth different from yours.
• Just because your mother or friend had a turbulent relationship with her in-laws doesn’t mean you will also experience the same thing.
It is possible to have a good, cordial and loving relationship with your mother-in-law.

How to have a better relationship with your mother-in-law?
First, see her as your own mother for indeed she became your second mum. Surely you do have a misunderstanding with your mum but you usually find a way around it. So find a way around that misunderstanding between you and your mother-in-law.
Study your mother-in-law, find out what she likes and dislikes.
Just because you are now married to her son shouldn’t mean that she is banished for life in her son’s life and your family. Allow your mother-in-law to be a part of your lives. I mean she deserves a right to be a part of her grandchildren’s lives. And it is a relief to you too on days when you simply need a break from the stress of caring for your family.
Make up your mind to be your mother-in-law’s friend as much as possible.
You will not always see eye to eye on a lot of issues but gently and wisely make her see reason. Sometimes let her son, your husband explain things to her. Some things might be better received when it is coming from her son.

When it is really difficult to deal with your mother-in-law, pray for her and yourself. Do your best and keep loving no matter what.

Remember, your mother-in-law is a fellow woman – support each other.

I think we should talk about how to be your daughter- in-law’s Friend in my next woman to Woman Talk post. 😀😀

Adebisi Adetunji (C)

Woman to Woman Talk #9 – Four Reasons for Delay in Getting the Man of Your Dream and what you can Do

There is no prototype way or formula for getting hooked up to the right man to spend the rest of your life with. And there is also nothing wrong with sizing up the man that you want to share the rest of your life with. However it is possible to over- do things and what I want to talk about today bothers on attitudes that can end up chasing away eligible bachelors.

1. Some of us ladies have a caustic tongue and we are so quick to lash out at anyone who crosses our part. I want to paint a picture. Say you are the chief executive of a notable organization and an old male friend whom you grew up with is doing a menial job. You meet in church or a club group every now and then. Sometimes you get to chat with this male acquaintance and with the way he is hanging around you, you sense he has his eyes on you. In your heart, you are like don’t even go there, young man!! Why? Well for so many reasons such as his grammar is not as polished as you would like; he has no dress sense and he laughs too loudly for your comfort whenever you are having a group conversation plus he is not a six pack physically endowed kind of guy. So this “ungentle and ill- mannered guy asks you out on a date and then you go rolling your eyes giving him a peace of your mind. All you are trying to say is, “you look me well before you open your mouth”. Meaning look guy we are not on the same level!

And the young man is so embarrassed and has difficulty approaching any other lady for a long while. Please, sisters/ladies, be civil and polite when turning down a date or that I want to marry you kind of request. In my opinion, any man/guy who asks you out is paying you a compliment. It means you are desirable and wanted even if he is not your type in a quote. Then seriously put yourself in the shoes of the man in question.

Why does this matter? Because in your hurry to dismiss all the men who are not your type in a shabby way you might just miss THE ONE man who might just be the man that you dreamed of. I am not saying settle for just any man simply because you are looking for love and marriage but simply saying BE POLITE and KIND. One day it will pay off. Treat others the way you will like to be treated.

2.  Another thing I will like to add here is that if there is a man/guy whom you actually like or are interested in and he asks you out don’t keep him waiting for too long. Ok in my Christian circle a man proposes to you as we say and you go praying over whether to say yes for the next one or two years! Seriously you should know whether he is what you will settle for or not as quickly as possible and move on. We, women, tend to play the wooing game. It’s ok to want the man to sweat it for a while so you satisfy the need to feel very “pricy” but stop wasting your own time and that of the man. My advice once you know this is the man for you quit playing around and say YES before he moves on thinking that he has no chance with you. And then you go crying that he did not love you enough to wait.
My point ladies attitude matters. Also be simple and honest with yourself know what you want and say YES it doesn’t make you cheap!

3. If you are looking for a perfect man…there is no such thing as a perfect gentleman; that is overrated. What do I mean? Watch that perfect gentleman when he is watching a football game he loves or gets in a heated argument over something that upsets him…get the picture? You don’t need a perfect man but a good, honest, hardworking, God fearing man. Guess what? You are far from being perfect yourself.

So be down to earth, stop living in that fairy tale land.

4. Have you been badly hurt or disappointed by a past relationship or experience? This does not have to define your future happiness unless you allow it. Not all men are bad. There is still someone out there who will treat you right. Stop punishing yourself, open your heart and pray. Good love will find you again.

Adebisi Adetunji(C)

Happy Sunday… How to have a Happy Start on Monday

Here is wishing you a peaceful Sunday
But you’ve got to prepare for a new week.

A quick reminder of things to do :
* My daughter or son will suddenly remember that their agricultural teacher asked them to plant a corn and I or their dad will just be hearing about it Sunday night while trying to relax in front of the TV! So to prevent this dramatic surprise make sure your kids have done their homework. They know how to leave this undone until Sunday night or early Monday morning. This will put you all in a cranky mode at the start of your week. Ask… Ask them… Check their note books to be sure.

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* All school uniforms or dress to be worn to school needs to be clean and ironed.

* Be sure that their socks and underwears are clean. Don’t imagine that they are… Many socks get left in school bags only to be discovered on Sunday night!

* Plan for breakfast meal for the first day of school at least if you don’t like a whole week’s timetable. And plan for lunch school take away.

* Don’t be tempted to only plan for your children… Plan for yourself too. Sort your cloths for the week too. Iron… Iron so you don’t go looking scruffy to the office.

* Remember to pack your bag. Pack your ID card, credit card, key card… All the cards… You know what I mean. You know women change bags to match their outfit each time. It can be so annoying to find out that your driver’s license is in the hand bag you used yesterday just when Road safety or patrol police stop you while driving through town.

* If you can make a list of what needs to get done on Monday… Office stuff and home chores.

Now how in heavens name is one suppose to enjoy a peaceful Sunday with all these?!!
Yaayi… Life must go on but take time out to still relax. Have a great Monday and start of the week.img_20170129_124752

Adebisi Adetunji (C)

It’s Ok to Take Care of Yourself

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Many women toil from “dawn to dawn” -By this phrase, I mean even at 2am, 3am, 4am some women are up working to feed their families. The woman who owns and runs a food canteen or is a food vendor must be up before the cock crows in order to be ready for her customers

As a career woman, she works hard at the office and her muscles ache all over her body. All she wants is to crash on a bed and sleep but no way as she opens the door to her home, she doesn’t even take off her clothes, sometimes even her shoes – kitchen work here I come!!! depositphotos_26021557-vector-cartoon-of-overworked-housewife

Family members are waiting to have dinner and guess what they want a meal that will take that extra effort. Imagine your husband talking about taking pounded yam at 10pm

marthapoundingyams…seriously “Mi o le wa ku o” (I can’t die o). I am blessed moi dear husband” does not make such demands.

My point here:

Woman, You Must really take of yourself; take care of your health. Have me time…find a day to lazy away doing something that you love and relaxing too.

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Throw off your “busy hat”.

Ok I know its a week day but plan a me relaxing time soon!!!

Photo Credit: 1) InterfaceLift 2)Deposit Photos  2) Cornell College- Women Antiquity 3) Lips, Lashes Pro

Adebisi Adetunji (C)