The circle of cleansing was about to begin again. Now there are three spirits that must rest in peace. I look up to the ceiling where dark cobwebs hanged. A fly was caught in the web and a big spider circled around to feast on its prey. Obinna and I were now as a trapped as the fly. I turned to look at his tear-stained face and then my eyes monitored the rising and falling of his chest as he slept. It was necessary to assure myself that he was still breathing. We were both lying down on the wooden bed with the flat dirty mattress. My eyes went back to the ceiling where the spider had now reached its prey. The voices of the elders mixed with grandma’s plea to the gods to have mercy on our entire clan were now even louder.
I felt a choke in my throat and then fresh tears began to flow down my face. Their voices became distant as my mind traveled to that night I was stirred from my sleep by the whispering voice of my mother. “I won’t do it Ebuka”, said mother. “I’m only trying to fulfill the cleansing rites”, replied Uncle Ebuka. “Please leave now”, mother said in a harsh tone. I heard Uncle Ebuka’s short clipped laughter as he said, “Chinwe, you know the elders have spoken” and I heard his footsteps leaving. Mother started to sob quietly. I laid down not saying anything and my mind went back to the time father was still alive.
– An excerpt from one of my short stories collection.
Adebisi Adetunji (C) Founder Beehyve Empowerment and Development Initiative. Media content provider, Trainer & consultant-@debisibusybeemedia, Behavioral Change Radio Drama, Communication4Development, Social Media Influencer, Controller Programs (FRCN) Catch me on Twitter – @DebisiBusybee, Facebook & email – bisimodupe1975@gmail.com
Since Watching and listening to a music video by one of Nigeria’s music artist over the weekend a line from the lyrics hasn’t left my heart. You know the popular saying about “The grass is greener on the other side” Well here is another angle to it:
The Grass is Greener Where you Water the Ground – Adekunle Gold(Nigerian Musician)
So if you want a green grass, start wetting your own ground where you are. Have a great week!!
Adebisi Adetunji (C) Founder Beehyve Empowerment and Development Initiative. Media content provider, Trainer & consultant, Behavioral Change Radio Drama, Communication4Development, Social Media Influencer
Catch me on Twitter @DebisiBusybee
Facebook & email – bisimodupe1975@gmail.com
Team work at the Women in Development Summit organized by Ideation Hub Africa
Team work will take you far and help you achieve more.
working in a team opens you up to learningabout what others know and you don’t.
Teamwork gives room for creativity and it is an opportunity to carry out tasks quickly.
Working in a team is an escape route from spreading yourself too thin. Working alone can put you under so much pressure and stress. Learn to share the workload with your team members.
Stop being a Local champion thinking you are the best; there is so much value others can bring into your life, tasks and projects.
Working with a team is fun and gives you company. You are not alone to bear the challenges and failures that sometimes comes with carrying out tasks/projects.
None of us is as good as all of us.
Adebisi Adetunji (C) Founder Beehyve Empowerment and Development Initiative. Media content provider, Trainer & consultant, Behavioral Change Radio Drama, Communication4Development. Catch me on Twitter @DebisiBusybee
Facebook & email – bisimodupe1975@gmail.com
At an FGMC workshop organized by YoungMen Against Sexual & gender based violence.
Life is a teacher and everyday each one of us is presented with an opportunity to learn.How we choose to handle our jobs, family, business, career and the pursuit of our dreams can eventually make or mar our progress.
Perhaps the thought line should be about “the how” you make progress. A few tips:
1. Give your best and go that extra mile – when we give our best and do more, someone that matters is observing. It is likely that you get even bigger opportunities that will improve your life & earnings. Mediocres and lazy people are going to reap an empty harvest and will end up becoming servants to their contemporaries.
2. Do not step on other people’s head to climb your ladder of progress –sometimes people bad mouth or give a negative /evil report of a competitor in the bid to be awarded a contract or get a position. Hmmmn… there is always a reaping time even if you do get the job or position. The people you bad mouthed will get other opportunities even better while you will soon learn that it takes more than craftiness to achieve and maintain success. Soon the true picture of who you are will show. WAIT FOR YOUR TIME… IT PAYS.
3. Honesty & Integrity – inour world today it is difficult to believe or take people by their words. We have experienced so much disappointment and we see a lot of corruption. Everyone wants a kick back even before they do the job they are paid to do. Life is full of choices, its your prerogative to choose how you will do your business or job. Unusual opportunities comes to those who deal in integrity and honesty. Even the highly placed dishonest person knows who to look for when in need of someone to handle a bid deal that matters to him/her.
3. Be friendly and extend a helping hand– try and maintain a good relationship with everyone you deal with whether at work, home or on a project. No need to be saucy and high handed especially if you have an upper hand. You may need such persons to be the link that takes you up on your ladder of progress. It doesn’t mean you have to be best friends with everyone but be cordial and kind.
4. Show kindness itwill come back to you.
Have yourself a great Friday and weekend.
Cheers, Adebisi Adetunji (C) Project Director Beehyve Initiative.
We women are emotional beingsand therefore little things can upset us. In a relationships women are the most hit when things take a downward turn or it doesn’t work out totally.
This is a short and straight to the point post that says to you : Stop Stressing yourself about what you can’t change in your man! People don’t change easily and so you are not responsible for his action but you can choose how you react to it.
Your peace of mind and sanity is important. Some of us try so hard to change our man but nothing is working. The nagging, frustration, tears and stress pile up.
My candid advice:
He may never change. Accept what you can but not when it is a physically abusive relationship. This one you must escape for your life!!
I am talking about issues between you and your spouse that borders on… He didn’t help with bathing the children; he didn’t give me enough money, he doesn’t care enough, he did this or that… Seriously ask him to help! Some men will see you doing all the work and just believe that you are fine… Ask him to help… Tell him you are tired and exhausted.
On other family issues please stop stressing yourself. Find a way around the issues and make yourself Happy.
No one is responsible for your happiness, you and God are. Human beings are so not perfect.
Be grateful for what you have; stop comparing your spouse with other people’s husband. Relax God is in control!
Stop stress yourself about what you can’t change woman. Enjoy your life.
Early this morning while rushing off to work I looked ahead through the windshield. It was still dark as the sun is yet to rise and many other cars and drivers rushed by with their headlights helping them to see through the midst of Harmattan and sometimes flashing lights get into our eyes. I quickly took a picture and wondered about the rush of life and where everyone was headed. Everyone had hopes of making the best of another day; the hope of having a better life making a good living wage.
I thought to myself where are we all headed? Each person is heading for a different destination. Somewhere down the line the rush slows down or ends.
Just thinking out loud… What’s the rush for? Where are you heading? Channel your efforts right.
A notice board on a national highway. Credits: Alamy.com
There are people that you meet and see every day and simply don’t know their story.They lift their heads each new day ready to make the best of the day. Opportunity comes once in a while and a window into someone’s life opens and then you are blown away by what you see and hear. I got such a rare opportunity with Nifesi (Not Real Name). She is one of our cleaners in my office (Why do I keep meddling?) and I heard something recently about her that lifted my spirits.
Nifesi’s Story – She dares to dream and pursue
I had a conversation with Nifesi, who dared to pursue an opportunity she saw while sweeping on a notice board.
A week ago I heard that Nifesi now features on the station’s Language (Yoruba) news commentary and had even read a major news bulletin on one occasion. So when I had an opportunity to chat with her to find out more about what inspired her. The road to appearing in the news commentary report started with an announcement placed on the general notice board. Members of staff of the organization were asked to see the management and put their names down if they had skills in presenting Yoruba programs. Nifesi while sweeping the corridor saw the notice and something lite up in her head. “I can do this”, she said to herself.
Opportunities jump out in places least expected sometimes…pay attention and take your chance.
As soon as she was done cleaning, she went in search of everyone that matters and she was advised to start translating news bulletin in English to Yoruba. Nifesi started to practice translating this bulletin every day after her cleaning job. He would then show her translation to those experienced on the job. When she was ready to showcase what she could to, Nifesi approached the news director and programs director to beg them to allow her to read what she had translated. They listened at first politely not wanting to embarrass her. They told her to go and register her interest at the top management level. Nifesi kept going back and forth and would not stop until an audition was sanctioned. After this, others could now listen to what she could do and approved and fell in love with her voice.
You never know what you can do until you try, make that effort, go that extra mile
Even after this nod of approval that Nifesi had what it takes to translate and read news items in the Yoruba language nobody gave her a chance to come to the microphone. Nifesi kept on in hope doing her cleaning job while also still practicing translation of old news bulletin. A day came when those rostered for the news where unavoidably absent. Nifesi strolled in to pick a bulletin as usual to practice her translation and she was given the bulletin to be read for that day. She was trembling and very nervous, carrying out this task that she had dreamed of for months felt like been taken to the court to receive a life sentence. Nifesi in spite her nervousness took the challenge by the bull’s horns and faced it headlong. After featuring as the newsreader for that day, Nifesi received a lot of commendation and that is how she became a newsreader while still carrying out her duty as a cleaner who sweeps our offices and washes the toilet.
Keep pushing until you get a YES!!
I looked at Nifesi in admiration as she shared her story. I was curious and wanted to know more about her. My inquiry revealed that Nifesi while still working on her job as a cleaner had struggled to get a National Diploma(OND) at a Polytechnic as a part-time student. It was tough paying for her school fees. Nifesi would go cap in hand begging the school authority to allow her to pay in installments. Finally, she finished a course in Business Management. When I asked if she had collected her certificate Nifesi said she is yet to because she still owed the school a balance of her school fees. I hope she is able to raise the money because I sense that she may soon be ending her time as a cleaner.
You have what it takes to make that dream happen.
I raise my hands to salute a woman like Nifesi; a woman whom her husband abandoned because they had trouble with bearing children. A strong woman determined to move on with her life and pursue her dreams and goals in spite of her many trials and challenges.
The new year is right here with us! Now you have to walk your way through it. There has been so much motivation and talks about setting new goals and plans. We are all been challenged to seize the year and make the best of it. Therefore in every area of life whether family, personal, career, education, Business, spiritual, health and much more we all want things to be better. We all want to experience growth.
2018 is here and you suddenly feel stuck and unable to take steps in any direction.If that is the case with you then you are not alone. I have a number of things penned down that I intend to pursue. I have some plans and goals but I keep having this unsure feeling; that feeling of where do I even start.
So here is how I am overcoming this new year blues:
Take your time and be clear about your goals and target.
Do not rush out and join the frenzy of achieving. Some of us will have to figure things out first remember it’s your own race.
Take one day at a time.
Take small steps towards your first goal or plan.
Do what you can for now and let it grow gradually.
Do not be in a hurry to achieve everything at once.
Be patient and take your time.
Most importantly be prepared to enjoy your everyday in 2018, life is not all about setting goals😀
