#WomanToWomanTalk – Love And Money

If you were to choose between Love and Money; which is the most important Ingredient in a Relationship? Take a peep at this down to earth chat about this.

Adebisi Adetunji (C) Broadcast Journalist, Media content provider, Trainer & consultant-@debisibusybeemedia, Behavioral Change Radio Drama, Communication4Development, Social Media Influencer, Controller Programs (FRCN) Founder Beehyve Empowerment and Development Initiative. Catch me on Twitter – @DebisiBusybee, Facebook & email – bisimodupe1975@gmail.com

Ideas For Celebrating Valentine For Singles, Couples & Families

Photo Credit: Hallmark Ideas

My kids sure know how to plot a coup when it comes to celebrating special days like birthdays, wedding anniversary and even Valentine. So last night they came to meet me in the bedroom asking me about what I intend to buy for their daddy as a Valentine gift. I smiled😀 knowing that it was a strategy to ensuring that we do have a special eating out time as a family. Eventually, I told them I had plans of getting my only “lover”, their daddy something… None of them Know what I am planning… It’s a family party…🙌🎉🎂You are invited if you can travel across the world! Then I asked if they would love to have a Valentine present from me; you can imagine the resounding YES! 😍So I am on the lookout for their presents before I get a query…For me, It is time for family love!👪💑

Here are Ideas to Help You have a Sweet and Memorable Valentine.

Love should be an everyday affair not a just a one-day special event. But then again life gets busy and days like Valentine reminds about revamping our love life.

What have you got planned for this Valentine? Seriously you do not need to go on a date with anyone if you are not in the mood or have no love relationship going.

Singles:

  •  Find a nice cool eatery, ice cream joint or amala joint(African Yoruba dish joint)  and take yourself out. Sit and enjoy your meal alone or you could take the time to make new friends.
  • After a hard day’s work because this Valentine actually falls on a work day; buy a pack of popcorn and cold drinks on your way home. Take a shower, get cozy on your couch or bed and watch a good old movie, munching away with your popcorn.
  •  And reading or completing that book you have been meaning to finish might not be a bad idea. Accompany your read with a nice treat.
  •  Hang out with your friends and family. 
  • Self-love – Get a nice hair-do; pedicure & manicure; or massage.
  • Or simply have a good night sleep and rest. Time to catch up your much-needed sleep after the much sleepless night.

Couples:

  • Buy your partner/spouse a gift not necessarily something expensive. The idea is to say…”Hey, I still love you and you mean so much to me”.
  • Plan a date: When was the last time you took out time to eat out, talk and just be alone.
  • Read a “relationship book” aloud to each other and accompany it with a nice treat; anything to munch and drink.
  •  Watch a movie you both love and reminds you of when you started your love journey together.
  • You can decide to have a couples dinner in your home or out if you prefer. Invite another couple who are your friends over.
  • Write a love letter and address it to your spouse, putting it right where he/she can see it.
  • Do something special for each other like helping with chores around the house.
Photo Credit: Patio’s class – Valentine’s Craft

Family: 

Valentine is a good time to reaffirm your love for each other as a family.

  • Buy a valentine gift or write a love note in a card for your children. Let them know that they are very much loved.
  • Have a family dinner; talk about the history of Valentine; what genuine love means and about God’s love.
  • Visit your lonely neighbors and share a cake or meal with them.
  • Don’t forget the grandmas and grandpas. Allow your kids to call their grandparents and wish them a love-filled Valentine.
  • Give your parents a call if they are far away and tell them, you love them.

MOST IMPORTANTLY REACH OUT AND SHOW SOME LOVE TO SOMEONE, ANYONE NOT NECESSARILY PEOPLE IN YOUR CLIQUE! A kind word, a hug; an invitation, a card or gift to just say “you are loved” will suffice!

And you are loved too❤️❤️🌹🌹!

Happy Valentine!!

Adebisi Adetunji (C) Broadcast Journalist, Founder Beehyve Empowerment and Development Initiative. Media content provider, Trainer & consultant-@debisibusybeemedia, Behavioral Change Radio Drama, Communication4Development, Social Media Influencer, Controller Programs (FRCN) Catch me on Twitter – @DebisiBusybee, Facebook & email – bisimodupe1975@gmail.com

How to Set Yourself Free and Live While Waiting For Mr. Right

Pexel Photo – pixabay.com

All dressed up in her new flowery shirt and brown pants ready for work, Diana sat in front of her bedside mirror applying her foundation and powder. As she brushed her cheek with the powder, Diana noticed that the bags beneath her eyes needed a little more powder padding to conceal them nicely. Her hands stopped mid-air as she stared at herself in the mirror, sighing and speaking loud to herself, “who I’m I kidding here? It is just so tiring dealing with this pressure”. Last night her mum had called again to say in no certain terms that time was not on her side. Worse still, Tina, her childhood friend invited Diana to the 5-year birthday celebration of her twin girls. A tear flowed down the corner of Diana’s left eyes, fighting back the tears, she quickly dabs the tears and finished applying her makeup. Taking a deep breath, she decided to face the day and make the best of it.

It is said that “Two are better than one”  but I will like to add that –

“Two whole/complete individuals willing to commit and fight for their relationship are far better than one”.

So you see what you need in a love partner is far more than just having someone to call your own; share your life and bed with. Waiting can be tough I know, so we are not kidding ourselves here. However, I would like to put in your hands a few tips about what you can do to make your life beautiful and not live a miserable and pressured life.

Your life’s purpose goes beyond finding a man and getting married, It is a blessing don’t get me wrong but do not get stuck in the expectations of society and family members. I see a lot of women who keep their life on hold anxiously waiting to find love and marriage. Some are just going through the motion of living in the hope that finding Mr. Right is what will make their lives complete and fulfilling. Trust me Mr. Right will show up and come into your life; then you will find out that he is living his own life and even wants some space sometimes. Men are goal oriented and career minded, so God helps you if you end up with a “very busy” man who works for like 18 hours. Then you will be asking yourself, “There must be something more to my life”.

Now is the time to get busy, pursue your dreams and goal; live your life! Mr. Right will find you already living and you can both better complement each other.

Common Misconception about Finding Mr. Right
1. He is all I need to be complete
2. He is what I need to feel special, loved and wanted.
3. The solution to my lonely life.
4. He will take care of me and things and even sort my bills.
5. Society will only respect me if I am wearing a wedding band.

Let’s Be Real Now
1. Your happiness is not solely dependent on finding and having a man in your life. There are no perfect men including you. So expecting your spouse/partner to be solely responsible for making you happy is too much of a burden that comes with a lot of stress. YOU CHOOSE TO BE RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR HAPPINESS.
2. You were already born complete, a whole person. When two complete, whole persons who accept and believe in themselves come together, then each one is not totally dependent on the other to make himself/herself happy. First, learn to accept yourself before you meet that someone you will eventually share your life with.
3. Do not…Absolutely do not put your happiness and life on hold. Take a course, travel to see new places,
4. Buy that car you have wanted to buy to make your move easy. Don’t mind the blackmailers of society who would interpret that to mean that you are proud and flashy and therefore men will be afraid to approach you.
5. Have and share your life with good friends who encourage and inspire you. Don’t be a loner.
6. Get busy volunteering to serve your community. You can offer your skills to empower others.
7. On days when you get that lonely feeling; do not just bury your head underneath your blanket, get out and take a walk or go see a movie. Who says you can’t take yourself out. Who knows you might make a new friend or meet him *wink at the cinema.
8. Draw your strength from the divine source. God is got a plan for your life and it’s a great one. Trust keep trusting. Your, Mr. Right, will show up at just the right time.

Don’t sit idly by and allow life to happen to you, choose to live life on purpose – Joyce Meyer

Hugs & Kisses from me….LIVE YOUR LIFE!!!

Adebisi Adetunji (C) Founder Beehyve Empowerment and Development Initiative. Media content provider, Trainer & consultant-@debisibusybeemedia, Behavioral Change Radio Drama, Communication4Development, Social Media Influencer, Controller Programs (FRCN) Catch me on Twitter – @DebisiBusybee, Facebook & email – bisimodupe1975@gmail.com

Happy Valentine : Choose to Enjoy Your Day

The love bug has caught on… Valentine is here and amazingly in my office more people are dressed in other colors apart from the red Valentine color. Interestingly many have on a touch of black and white… Is this the new Valentine color? 😁

Love goes beyond Valentine’s day. Whatever you do,  enjoy your day. If there is no date invitation from anyone celebrate yourself and enjoy your day.

Be grateful for all the beautiful things going on in your life besides having a man to dote on you.

And this is an opportunity to tell someone, it could be your spouse, kids, friends, mum and dad that you love him or her.
My kids gave me warm hug this morning to say “Happy Valentine’s Day mum”. Who says this day has to be all about lovers!

So enjoy your day; love yourself and if you like give yourself a treat.

From me… Loads of love and kisses💞😘😘

Adebisi Adetunji (C)

Woman to Woman Talk #27 Stop Stressing Yourself About What You Can’t Change

We women are emotional beings and therefore little things can upset us. In a relationships women are the most hit when things take a downward turn or it doesn’t work out totally.

This is a short and straight to the point post that says to you : Stop Stressing yourself about what you can’t change in your man! People don’t change easily and so you are not responsible for his action but you can choose how you react to it.

Your peace of mind and sanity is important. Some of us try so hard to change our man but nothing is working. The nagging, frustration, tears and stress pile up.

My candid advice:
He may never change. Accept what you can but not when it is a physically abusive relationship. This one you must escape for your life!!

I am talking about issues between you and your spouse that borders on… He didn’t help with bathing the children; he didn’t give me enough money, he doesn’t care enough, he did this or that… Seriously ask him to help! Some men will see you doing all the work and just believe that you are fine… Ask him to help… Tell him you are tired and exhausted.

On other family issues please stop stressing yourself. Find a way around the issues and make yourself Happy.

No one is responsible for your happiness, you and God are. Human beings are so not perfect.

Be grateful for what you have; stop comparing your spouse with other people’s husband. Relax God is in control!

Stop stress yourself about what you can’t change woman. Enjoy your life.

Adebisi Adetunji (C)

Woman To woman Talk #25: Who is Wooing Who: Prince or Princess Charming?

Credits : pixabay.com

Once upon a time in a faraway wonderland, a Princess charming proposes to the love of her life in the glare of a mesmerized audience. He stood and watched her go on her knees with the audience holding their breath waiting to see how this love story will end. Princess charming brings out the ring, a token that says she was ready to spend the rest of her life with him. He stood still for a while and then begins to walk towards her and the crowd became excited. He lifts up his Princess charming and holds her in an embrace. Just as their audience is about to begin to applaud, he breaks the embrace and walks away. Princess charming was left standing and holding her proposal ring and as the truth sinks in, she breaks down in big sobs. Oh, the embarrassment in front of their live audience who were already taking pictures and videoing the show! Princess charming begins to scream and then goes hysterical running through the crowd looking for somewhere to hide.

Now this story certainly didn’t have a “happily ever after”, ending that we are all used to. I wish it were just a fairy tale or fiction but it a true life event. Last week on Facebook the story of the lady who proposed to her man in a big mall and was turned down by him dominated the social media at least in Nigeria. There has been a lot of interesting discussions about that very emotional scene as the lady was uncontrollably heartbroken. It turned out her guy was already married…see wahala and gbege!!(Trouble & shocking).

I saw another post of two ladies in separate locations and pictures proposing to their men. This time it looked like the guys accepted. Now whether these photos were shared on social media to create more humor or mock the first event, I’m not sure. The question now is, has the wooing game changed? It is one thing to show a guy or even tell him that you like him, it is a different kettle of fish to now propose to him.

A quick definition: To Woo is to seek the affection or love of someone, usually a woman(www.dictionary.com). It also means to pursue, persuade that person that you are a good person to marry 😀(cambridge dictionary). It is to court, chase after until you win someone’s love.

What many people are saying about the issue:
It is easy to sit on the judgment seat and tear this lady with words like; “What was she thinking! “Desperate girl”! “Cheap girl”, “Didn’t her mother teach her anything?”, “A disgrace to her family”! These and so much has been said about this lady in question. Yours sincerely(me) too has had a few things to say about this lady’s action of daring to step up and letting her man know she was ready to tie the knot. Trust my African clan, we will reel out every rule that should govern a love relationship. It is believed that the proper and honorable thing to do is for a man to ask for “the hand of his bride to be from her and her family”

Now let’s try to be gracious to this dear lady: She had a good reason for going ahead to propose and I only wish we could hear her own side of the story

Frankly speaking:
I believe in the old school way of allowing the man to propose. There is something nice about a man going all out to woo you. And the magic of been treated like a princess when after he had succeeded in getting you to date him for some time, he proposes! My head looks like it is in the clouds but is that not what we women want? Dear sister women being emotional beings do not have the shock absolver that men have! Don’t get me wrong we are strong but when a woman is rejected …. Ask men, it is not easy to accept that no from a woman they dream of sharing their lives with.
When a person says No to a marriage proposal, man or woman as is the case in the main story of this post, it means you are not what I want; it is a rejection. Therefore you will feel rejected; not loved, embarrassed and it hurts your heart and ego too!

Question: Can you handle these emotions Lady?

Why you shouldn’t do the wooing or propose:

  • Somewhere down the line, your man may begin to taunt you with the fact that you proposed when issues arise especially if he didn’t think through his choice. You want to be able to remind him that he came looking for you.
  • I also think that going ahead to propose makes you look desperate and trust me the man may not be ready yet.
  • Men are territorial, they like a challenge so let him do the wooing and proposing. If you have been dating for a while and you are sure that you both love each other enough to settle down in marriage, give him what I call the green light. This means subtly let him know that you are ready to go all the way but let him make up his mind and choose to take it forward.
  • If you propose and he says no, think what that might do to your self-esteem.

Stay cool, calm and collected, that man that loves and knows your worth will eventually show up. By the way, your life is so much more than just being in a relationship.

Adebisi Adetunji(C)

When Your Child Makes you a Special New Year Greetings 💞💝💝

We woke up this morning to a brand new day and year… Everyone could feel the breeze and joy of a new beginning! My daughter after our morning family prayers band everyone from going to her room and she was pretty serious about it😎

I had to prepare breakfast so going to her room was not in my plans at least not just yet. Sometime after breakfast she shows up with this balloon new year Greetings for me and her dad…!

We were so happy for her show of love. She simply wanted to appreciate us in a nice loving way… I am a happy and loved mum! 💝💝💝💞. It is moments like this that makes been a parent worth it! 2018 loading in a niceeee way😀😀😀😀.

Adebisi Adetunji (C)