Not Happy but Still In Love…Is this Possible?

love-and-happinessIs love tied to happiness? Yes, love does have something to do with happiness.

Do you feel happy all the time with the person you are in love with? Definitely NO!

Does that make you fall out of love with your partner? Possibly for some…

Where I’m I going with this?

I am just concerned about how we fall out of love in this generation simply because we are not feeling that happiness with our partner or spouse.
Every now and then you are here the lines: “Oh I have to be happy”, “My happiness matters”, “I have to do what makes me happy”. Did you notice the “I’s”, “My”. We are a people or should I say a generation of Me…me…me

Have you ever thought that Love is much more than what we make it be?

What is Love? Not easy to define sometimes but I’ll try

It is a good feeling: but doesn’t always feel good. So Love is more than just a feeling of butterflies

Love is a Choice: You can actually choose to love someone or choose not to. That’s when we say we fall out of love.

Love is not something out of control: So you are feeling so ecstatic about that woman/man; you can’t breathe, you can sleep, you can’t wait to be with him or her every time. Hmmm…love is definitely exciting but why does it sometimes Feazel away? Point here If he or she is married to someone better control that your love feeling or else risk becoming unhappy soon as he/she will also cheat on you soon.

Love can be pain staking/painful: Sometimes you are misunderstood for loving or your acts of love. Sometimes you have to go the extra mile to do something special. Love is willing to do so much more for the one it loves.

Love is humble: It is not self-seeking; it is not arrogant. You must know that you can be wrong so admit it when you are to your partner or spouse.

Love fights- Be very sure that you will engage in arguments and have fights with the one you love. It is perfectly normal and I don’t mean physically punching each other. So misunderstandings help you both to get to know each other as you handle your conflicts rightly.

Love is a stickler or should I say a sticker: It doesn’t just walk away simply because some things are not perfect. It doesn’t give up easily on its partner or spouse. Love is a stickler or should I say a sticker

Love is committed- Love does not stay only on days it feels good.

Is your love all about making you feel good?

Love is much more than happiness

I really don’t how to say this forgive me if it seems like I am ranting…

We need to love moreour marriages need to be more than just about ourselves and how we feel. You have a right and need to be happy in your marriage relationship but how much are you willing to give it to make it work?

Love is so much more…selfless and unselfish.
Before you walk away are you loving right?!

Adebisi Adetunji (C)

Weekend thoughts: Benefits of Sharing a Room & Bed with your Spouse

WHY Couples don’t share a room
• Some don’t want to share with a nursing mother or a menstruating woman.
• One room might not be enough for women to store their bags and shoes
• A continues hold on privacy
• Snoring
• Sometimes one partner may need  work late and this might disturb the sleep time of the other person.
• Sometimes one person needs to get early to work and he/she does not want to disturb other who might want to sleep in late.

These reasons are valid but take a closer look at the bigger picture if you want to achieve better intimacy with your partner: COUPLES IN BED

Benefits of sharing room with spouse
• It makes it harder to keep malice. And I am told a smaller bed is effective in helping to quickly settle quarrels as bodies of partners touches. *wink* 🙂
• A reason to cuddle up together more.

Benefits of sleeping together in the same bed: Lessons from the book- “Two in bed” by Dr. Paul Rosenblatt (Family social science professor)

Pillow Talk –It gives them a chance to talk about the day’s events, share feelings and concerns, and solve problems together.

Intimacy –The cuddling, spooning and warmth of being close to another are soothing in ways we may not even recognize. It increases feelings of intimacy with your spouse, and for women it enhances a sense of physical safety and security. Obviously, physical closeness increases the opportunity for sexual interaction.

Remember a happily Ever After requires sacrifice and spicing of your love life. Have a fabulous weekend.

Photo Credit:

Adebisi Adetunji (C)

Beyond Flowers, Chocolate & Ice-Cream


Flowers 4Every time a guy or should i say “gentle man” brings a bunch of flower to his sweet heart the girl’s heart melts into a cream of love… if you know what i mean. The bunch of flowers accompanied with a cozy time out together says “I’ve got eyes only for you”. And the lady travels into the world of a far away never ending love story.

The magic of the moment is complete when the “gentle man” pushes his chair back at the special dinner table and goes on bend knees. A flashing diamond ring appears…a symbol of commitment…a life together and the lady mesmerized and hardly able to breath whispers a “yes” with eyes glittering and tears threatening to fall.

It was one of the best days for the two love birds. All too quickly plans for sealing the engagement and moving unto a forever happily union begins. Boy marries girl of his dream; girl marries the love of her life and the journey begins.

Expectations are high and they both believed that their love can only grow stronger as they tied the knot. They soon found out that it was a lot more than they expected. Soon the “gentle man” turned husband forgets her birthday; he forgets to bring her flowers; very few times of chocolate and Ice-cream or not all. The Lady finds out that being married meant been able to organize a home: cooking, doing the dishes, laundry, running after the kids to get them ready for school, running errands for almost everyone in the house. The enormous responsibility weighs heavily on her and she thinks “no way i didn’t bargain for this! Just because i got married doesn’t mean i am anybody’s house help”…”I deserve to be treated better”.

Where i am going with this: I am definitely for a man helping out with house chores but seriously if you are thinking of getting married as a girl it is more than flowers,chocolate, and Ice-cream. It is serious work…serious responsibility! A woman is the Managing Director of her home and her job is not swerving around in a chair and dishing out commands. She has to role up her sleeves and get down to work.

Why this is an issue: Many young girls dream away not understanding the realities that comes with marriage and managing a home. I know of a few ladies who got married and are having serious trouble with keeping their homes tidy and generally been able to take care of their new and young family. This is causing a lot of tension in the union.

Face the fact: If you want to get married as a woman, know how to cook, keep a clean and tidy home, know what it means to manage a home. Hey, your man may serve you breakfast in bed, may help with some chores in the house but 90% of the rest of your life together…you are in charge!

Marriage is hard work …to make it work….Take your home economics or home management course seriously!!! Hee…heee…(Laughter) This is not to say marriage is not fun and sweet…with the right partner who by the way is not a perfect human being.

Remember it goes beyond the flowers, chocolate & Ice-Cream Girls!!! Flowers 3


Ice cream


Photo Credits:

Ice Cream PNG image



Adebisi Adetunji (C)