Why Women Work

Once upon a time there lived a rich man who had a very beautiful wife. He was a nice man who loved his wife so much and he provided for her well. He had more money than she could ever spend yet something troubled this family so badly. This rich man’s wife was not satisfied with all that he provided; she wanted something more but her husband refused to give her, her wish. Every now and then they argued over this matter but Mr Rich man refuse to grant her request. She became withdrawn and unhappy; their happy home didn’t sparkle with the usual laughter. He continued to lavish her with numerous gifts in order to take her mind off what she wanted. Something happened that changed their story completely. Mr Rich man’s source of income was suddenly cut off. This family moved from been very rich to barely been able to feed after a few months. “If only my wish had been granted perhaps our story would have been different”, said the wife when an argument broke out between them over their predicament. The man regretted never letting her work, but he waited too long before realizing its benefit.

Every now and then I hear stories of men who refuse to allow their wives to work. I am not talking about taking time off work to nurse your baby or have time to raise your kids for a while. There are actually men who insist that their wives would not work for amazingly shocking reasons. Some of these reasons are quite interesting:

• Fear of losing her to another man out there
• The believe that it makes him less than a man having his wife work for someone else
• A woman’s place should be in the home and her duty is to take care of her husband and kids.
• Fear of her earning more than him

These and more reasons that only such men can explain are why some men refuse to allow their wives work.
Why does anyone need to work? Why do women need to work?

WOMEN WORK
Women at work in a studio

For starters let me give a few reasons why I work:
• I was sent to school in order to be able to independently take care of myself at adulthood.
• My father would say I don’t want you to be a liability to any man; and I seriously refuse to be a liability.
• I studied hard in school to earn a degree so why should all that effort and money spent on giving me an education go to waste.
• I had dreams of who I wanted to become when I grow up so work for me is a means of seeing my dreams come true.
• Work gives me the opportunity to support my husband in handling the bills.
• I love going to the Mall to shop and enjoy strolling through the isle. It feels nice picking things from the shelves and throwing them into the trolley. Now this requires money, so I like the idea of been able to make money to spend at the mall.
• I want to be able to take care of my ageing parents and I won’t like to bug my husband every time for this.
• I want to be able to surprise my husband with my own money not His.
• Work affords me the opportunity to buy gifts for a friend’s daughter celebrating her birthday; help a person in need without putting pressure on the man in my life or other people.
• I’d like to see a nice dress or shirt and be able to purchase it for my kids.
• Work gives me the opportunity to travel to see other places.
I guess I sound like a career woman, there you caught me! Work for a woman is not limited to being a career person. Many women have their own business that they manage and a good number are successful at it. Check out some women in a popular market in Ibadan, where I reside in Nigeria….we call them Agbeni women. It would interest you that some of them can pay me double my salary. So whether it’s a business or career I believe every woman should work!

Why?
It is because every woman has something to contribute to her family more than just doing house chores; our economy; our society and the world at large. Imagine a world where women did not work at all…hmmmn…the men go tire! The men would be in serious trouble.
Work is the right of every adult human being, man or woman.

PARTING SHOT:

MEN: When your woman works you have saved yourself the burden of having to handle the bills all by yourself.

WOMEN: Empower yourself…Get up and work; don’t expect one man out there to solve all your financial problems. I am flabbergasted by the ideology of some young ladies I have met. They believe that getting married is the solution to all their financial needs. I’d say that works in a dream not reality. As predictable many of them soon find themselves married to an irresponsible man who cannot afford to take care of himself yet acquires many more wives.

Adebisi Adetunji

Marriage: Submission vs Control 1

By Adebisi Adetunji

marriage-handcuffs1
Marriage: promise of love or prison

So here is the story of Mr and Mrs Still (not real names). They have both been married for awhile and are blessed with children. Mr Still, one day needed some money and the end of the month was still a week away when salaries get paid. So his wife gave him her ATM card to withdraw some money. He blew her a kiss and she smiled satisfied that she was a dependable partner. But alas it was a big mistake. Mr Still refused to return her ATM card, instead he withheld it and withdraws money from his wife’s account at will. In fact as soon as her salary hits her account at the end of the month, he withdraws every penny leaving Mrs Still with nothing to cater for herself. All attempt to get her husband to give her back the ATM card had not been successful. Mr Still claims that he is the head of the home and he had right to control everything about his wife. This has been going on for several months now and Mrs Still is terribly worried and looked tattered. Some of her friends have advised her to take the matter to the bank where her salary is paid to but she refuses to take any action. Her family (parents and siblings) beg her not to do anything that will break her marriage but instead continue to endure until maybe one day, Mr Still will have a change of heart. Mrs Still is at a loss about how to best handle the matter and continues to suffer in silence trying to be a submissive wife while her husband spends both his salary and hers.

This story which is a true life story makes me to  wonder how far submission should go in a marriage. Many women suffer in silence. Why do men like Mr Still do this? And why do women like Mrs Still continue to suffer in silence?

Photo Credit: http://www.standardmedia.co.ke