Woman to Woman Talk #12 – Are You Emotionally Strong? How to Prevent Getting Hurt

Yeah… It is that time again when we talk about our own matter as women.

A story that mirrors what I want to talk about comes to mind. It was back in my day at the university there was this lady from church that I know. I will call her Martha. She had this gloomy air around her all the time. Martha had this sad face and she was rarely friendly with people. Everyone was like, “what is this woman’s problem?! Including yours sincerely, me. So we avoided her as best as we could but after a while I was curious so I started to investigate her issue… Call it Aproko or being nosey. I simply had to know and in my detective work 😁 *wink* I found out that Martha had been jilted by a guy whom she thought was serious about settling down to a life time commitment in marriage with her.

Martha was hurting I could see and I empathized with her seriously. Here is the real gist:

Her Prince charming had been dotting on her taking her out on a number of dates. Martha assumed that all the time spent together in each other’s company meant that he really wanted to be with her. One day this man showed up with a wedding card invitation! Martha’s world spun and she was devastated. Her man was only enjoying her company but never wanted it to go beyond this.
His defense was this “But I never proposed marriage to you”. But he had been eating good home made meals at her place. He had also been taking her out to eateries and everyone thought they were an item together before he dropped the bomb shell of not been interested.

The crux of the matter here lady: You have to be emotionally smart! If a guy possibly even your very good friend begins to spend more time than necessary with you then you need to ask point blank, where the relationship is going. Define such a relationship so you don’t get your high hope of having found love dashed.

You have to be emotionally smart!

So lady, do not allow your emotions to overrule good judgment. Protect yourself by being emotionally intelligent. I am not saying you should not have friends or be too defensive when dealing with men in your life. Be friendly but wise. Stop wearing your heart on your sleeve. Don’t jump to a conclusion that the guy who is doting all over you really wants to take the relationship further.

Don’t jump to a conclusion that the guy who is doting all over you really wants to take the relationship further.

And you need to understand that some men test the waters. By this I mean they have you and probably two or three other ladies in mind… Not funny but it happens.

In case your heart has been broken once or more times than you can count hey hugs from me. You will rise and find love again. Do not stop your life because of a heart break. Cry and allow yourself to heal.

Your scars should not keep hurting you for the rest of life. Let them be a reminder of how you have grown and become better.
Your scars can lead to good and great testimonies.

Loads of love to every woman/Lady hurting.

Photo Credit: The Single Woman Blog(Heart Broken by – Mandy Hale

Adebisi Adetunji (C)

So your Boyfriend Dumped you!

I stumbled on this piece while looking through my former laptop hard disk for a movie  just to relax my head… Its a piece i wrote some 4years ago. I’d like to share it…

How to handle hurts from a broken relationship

Arrow piercing heart

So your boyfriend dumped you or is in love with another! It is not the end of the world and certainly not the end of your life. First lock up yourself and cry your heart out, not get drunk flat out on your face. I mean this guy might not even shed a tear if something bad happens to you. He might well say, “I knew something was not right about her”

After you have cried out some of your pain, get up and face the world again. Get busy doing something profitable for you. You could take up a new project, do something for others, and take up a new hobby, maybe writing.

If it’s too painful and you still have to see him, take a trip or holiday and get out of his zone for a while if you can manage to get away from work.

Meet and make new friends, but do not jump into the arms of the very next guy who finds you attractive. He is probably not the guy you are looking for because your heart is still hurting too much to allow you have a good judgment about the decision you have to make.

Take time to know yourself afresh and determine what you really want your life to be about. You may discover your ex didn’t fit in to the future you dreamed about after all.
Understand that you will find love again, better than you imagined!

Photo Credit: Stock Free Images thank you!

Adebisi Adetunji