How to Set Yourself Free and Live While Waiting For Mr. Right

Pexel Photo – pixabay.com

All dressed up in her new flowery shirt and brown pants ready for work, Diana sat in front of her bedside mirror applying her foundation and powder. As she brushed her cheek with the powder, Diana noticed that the bags beneath her eyes needed a little more powder padding to conceal them nicely. Her hands stopped mid-air as she stared at herself in the mirror, sighing and speaking loud to herself, “who I’m I kidding here? It is just so tiring dealing with this pressure”. Last night her mum had called again to say in no certain terms that time was not on her side. Worse still, Tina, her childhood friend invited Diana to the 5-year birthday celebration of her twin girls. A tear flowed down the corner of Diana’s left eyes, fighting back the tears, she quickly dabs the tears and finished applying her makeup. Taking a deep breath, she decided to face the day and make the best of it.

It is said that “Two are better than one”  but I will like to add that –

“Two whole/complete individuals willing to commit and fight for their relationship are far better than one”.

So you see what you need in a love partner is far more than just having someone to call your own; share your life and bed with. Waiting can be tough I know, so we are not kidding ourselves here. However, I would like to put in your hands a few tips about what you can do to make your life beautiful and not live a miserable and pressured life.

Your life’s purpose goes beyond finding a man and getting married, It is a blessing don’t get me wrong but do not get stuck in the expectations of society and family members. I see a lot of women who keep their life on hold anxiously waiting to find love and marriage. Some are just going through the motion of living in the hope that finding Mr. Right is what will make their lives complete and fulfilling. Trust me Mr. Right will show up and come into your life; then you will find out that he is living his own life and even wants some space sometimes. Men are goal oriented and career minded, so God helps you if you end up with a “very busy” man who works for like 18 hours. Then you will be asking yourself, “There must be something more to my life”.

Now is the time to get busy, pursue your dreams and goal; live your life! Mr. Right will find you already living and you can both better complement each other.

Common Misconception about Finding Mr. Right
1. He is all I need to be complete
2. He is what I need to feel special, loved and wanted.
3. The solution to my lonely life.
4. He will take care of me and things and even sort my bills.
5. Society will only respect me if I am wearing a wedding band.

Let’s Be Real Now
1. Your happiness is not solely dependent on finding and having a man in your life. There are no perfect men including you. So expecting your spouse/partner to be solely responsible for making you happy is too much of a burden that comes with a lot of stress. YOU CHOOSE TO BE RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR HAPPINESS.
2. You were already born complete, a whole person. When two complete, whole persons who accept and believe in themselves come together, then each one is not totally dependent on the other to make himself/herself happy. First, learn to accept yourself before you meet that someone you will eventually share your life with.
3. Do not…Absolutely do not put your happiness and life on hold. Take a course, travel to see new places,
4. Buy that car you have wanted to buy to make your move easy. Don’t mind the blackmailers of society who would interpret that to mean that you are proud and flashy and therefore men will be afraid to approach you.
5. Have and share your life with good friends who encourage and inspire you. Don’t be a loner.
6. Get busy volunteering to serve your community. You can offer your skills to empower others.
7. On days when you get that lonely feeling; do not just bury your head underneath your blanket, get out and take a walk or go see a movie. Who says you can’t take yourself out. Who knows you might make a new friend or meet him *wink at the cinema.
8. Draw your strength from the divine source. God is got a plan for your life and it’s a great one. Trust keep trusting. Your, Mr. Right, will show up at just the right time.

Don’t sit idly by and allow life to happen to you, choose to live life on purpose – Joyce Meyer

Hugs & Kisses from me….LIVE YOUR LIFE!!!

Adebisi Adetunji (C) Founder Beehyve Empowerment and Development Initiative. Media content provider, Trainer & consultant-@debisibusybeemedia, Behavioral Change Radio Drama, Communication4Development, Social Media Influencer, Controller Programs (FRCN) Catch me on Twitter – @DebisiBusybee, Facebook & email – bisimodupe1975@gmail.com

Woman to Woman Talk #12 – Are You Emotionally Strong? How to Prevent Getting Hurt

Yeah… It is that time again when we talk about our own matter as women.

A story that mirrors what I want to talk about comes to mind. It was back in my day at the university there was this lady from church that I know. I will call her Martha. She had this gloomy air around her all the time. Martha had this sad face and she was rarely friendly with people. Everyone was like, “what is this woman’s problem?! Including yours sincerely, me. So we avoided her as best as we could but after a while I was curious so I started to investigate her issue… Call it Aproko or being nosey. I simply had to know and in my detective work 😁 *wink* I found out that Martha had been jilted by a guy whom she thought was serious about settling down to a life time commitment in marriage with her.

Martha was hurting I could see and I empathized with her seriously. Here is the real gist:

Her Prince charming had been dotting on her taking her out on a number of dates. Martha assumed that all the time spent together in each other’s company meant that he really wanted to be with her. One day this man showed up with a wedding card invitation! Martha’s world spun and she was devastated. Her man was only enjoying her company but never wanted it to go beyond this.
His defense was this “But I never proposed marriage to you”. But he had been eating good home made meals at her place. He had also been taking her out to eateries and everyone thought they were an item together before he dropped the bomb shell of not been interested.

The crux of the matter here lady: You have to be emotionally smart! If a guy possibly even your very good friend begins to spend more time than necessary with you then you need to ask point blank, where the relationship is going. Define such a relationship so you don’t get your high hope of having found love dashed.

You have to be emotionally smart!

So lady, do not allow your emotions to overrule good judgment. Protect yourself by being emotionally intelligent. I am not saying you should not have friends or be too defensive when dealing with men in your life. Be friendly but wise. Stop wearing your heart on your sleeve. Don’t jump to a conclusion that the guy who is doting all over you really wants to take the relationship further.

Don’t jump to a conclusion that the guy who is doting all over you really wants to take the relationship further.

And you need to understand that some men test the waters. By this I mean they have you and probably two or three other ladies in mind… Not funny but it happens.

In case your heart has been broken once or more times than you can count hey hugs from me. You will rise and find love again. Do not stop your life because of a heart break. Cry and allow yourself to heal.

Your scars should not keep hurting you for the rest of life. Let them be a reminder of how you have grown and become better.
Your scars can lead to good and great testimonies.

Loads of love to every woman/Lady hurting.

Photo Credit: The Single Woman Blog(Heart Broken by – Mandy Hale

Adebisi Adetunji (C)

So your Boyfriend Dumped you!

I stumbled on this piece while looking through my former laptop hard disk for a movie  just to relax my head… Its a piece i wrote some 4years ago. I’d like to share it…

How to handle hurts from a broken relationship

Arrow piercing heart

So your boyfriend dumped you or is in love with another! It is not the end of the world and certainly not the end of your life. First lock up yourself and cry your heart out, not get drunk flat out on your face. I mean this guy might not even shed a tear if something bad happens to you. He might well say, “I knew something was not right about her”

After you have cried out some of your pain, get up and face the world again. Get busy doing something profitable for you. You could take up a new project, do something for others, and take up a new hobby, maybe writing.

If it’s too painful and you still have to see him, take a trip or holiday and get out of his zone for a while if you can manage to get away from work.

Meet and make new friends, but do not jump into the arms of the very next guy who finds you attractive. He is probably not the guy you are looking for because your heart is still hurting too much to allow you have a good judgment about the decision you have to make.

Take time to know yourself afresh and determine what you really want your life to be about. You may discover your ex didn’t fit in to the future you dreamed about after all.
Understand that you will find love again, better than you imagined!

Photo Credit: Stock Free Images thank you!

Adebisi Adetunji