Woman to Woman Talk #9 – Four Reasons for Delay in Getting the Man of Your Dream and what you can Do

There is no prototype way or formula for getting hooked up to the right man to spend the rest of your life with. And there is also nothing wrong with sizing up the man that you want to share the rest of your life with. However it is possible to over- do things and what I want to talk about today bothers on attitudes that can end up chasing away eligible bachelors.

1. Some of us ladies have a caustic tongue and we are so quick to lash out at anyone who crosses our part. I want to paint a picture. Say you are the chief executive of a notable organization and an old male friend whom you grew up with is doing a menial job. You meet in church or a club group every now and then. Sometimes you get to chat with this male acquaintance and with the way he is hanging around you, you sense he has his eyes on you. In your heart, you are like don’t even go there, young man!! Why? Well for so many reasons such as his grammar is not as polished as you would like; he has no dress sense and he laughs too loudly for your comfort whenever you are having a group conversation plus he is not a six pack physically endowed kind of guy. So this “ungentle and ill- mannered guy asks you out on a date and then you go rolling your eyes giving him a peace of your mind. All you are trying to say is, “you look me well before you open your mouth”. Meaning look guy we are not on the same level!

And the young man is so embarrassed and has difficulty approaching any other lady for a long while. Please, sisters/ladies, be civil and polite when turning down a date or that I want to marry you kind of request. In my opinion, any man/guy who asks you out is paying you a compliment. It means you are desirable and wanted even if he is not your type in a quote. Then seriously put yourself in the shoes of the man in question.

Why does this matter? Because in your hurry to dismiss all the men who are not your type in a shabby way you might just miss THE ONE man who might just be the man that you dreamed of. I am not saying settle for just any man simply because you are looking for love and marriage but simply saying BE POLITE and KIND. One day it will pay off. Treat others the way you will like to be treated.

2.  Another thing I will like to add here is that if there is a man/guy whom you actually like or are interested in and he asks you out don’t keep him waiting for too long. Ok in my Christian circle a man proposes to you as we say and you go praying over whether to say yes for the next one or two years! Seriously you should know whether he is what you will settle for or not as quickly as possible and move on. We, women, tend to play the wooing game. It’s ok to want the man to sweat it for a while so you satisfy the need to feel very “pricy” but stop wasting your own time and that of the man. My advice once you know this is the man for you quit playing around and say YES before he moves on thinking that he has no chance with you. And then you go crying that he did not love you enough to wait.
My point ladies attitude matters. Also be simple and honest with yourself know what you want and say YES it doesn’t make you cheap!

3. If you are looking for a perfect man…there is no such thing as a perfect gentleman; that is overrated. What do I mean? Watch that perfect gentleman when he is watching a football game he loves or gets in a heated argument over something that upsets him…get the picture? You don’t need a perfect man but a good, honest, hardworking, God fearing man. Guess what? You are far from being perfect yourself.

So be down to earth, stop living in that fairy tale land.

4. Have you been badly hurt or disappointed by a past relationship or experience? This does not have to define your future happiness unless you allow it. Not all men are bad. There is still someone out there who will treat you right. Stop punishing yourself, open your heart and pray. Good love will find you again.

Adebisi Adetunji(C)

Hurting? How to Heal and Move On

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When life puts your back on the ground don’t stay down get up.

Those who get up from a fall can begin to walk again. What if lt is a broken leg? At least you can start the process of mending and healing.

This post is inspired by a story I heard recently. A man breaks a girl’s heart or vice versa and the individual gets stuck In that experience. Sounds familiar right? Oh.. but I have moved on… Really? Check out how you treat yourself and the opposite gender.

Do other men or women have to pay for your past hurt?
Are you still having trust issues… I mean a bad case of mistrust?
Then surely you are still hurting.

How to stop hurting
* Acknowledge that you are hurt don’t live in denial.
* Understand that love does not stop with that person who had hurt you in the past.
* Understand that all men are not the same or women if you like.
* There are still good men/women out there in the world.
* There is someone waiting to love and cherish you.
* Sometimes relationship hurts happen because of bad choices. Pay attention to early warning signs the next time so you won’t get hurt again.
* Seriously Stop Punishing YOURSelf

For I Know the plans I have for you. Plans of good and not of evil, to give you a hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11

Photo Credit : ATea Cup story- tumbir. Com

Adebisi Adetunji (C)


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So your Boyfriend Dumped you!

I stumbled on this piece while looking through my former laptop hard disk for a movie  just to relax my head… Its a piece i wrote some 4years ago. I’d like to share it…

How to handle hurts from a broken relationship

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So your boyfriend dumped you or is in love with another! It is not the end of the world and certainly not the end of your life. First lock up yourself and cry your heart out, not get drunk flat out on your face. I mean this guy might not even shed a tear if something bad happens to you. He might well say, “I knew something was not right about her”

After you have cried out some of your pain, get up and face the world again. Get busy doing something profitable for you. You could take up a new project, do something for others, and take up a new hobby, maybe writing.

If it’s too painful and you still have to see him, take a trip or holiday and get out of his zone for a while if you can manage to get away from work.

Meet and make new friends, but do not jump into the arms of the very next guy who finds you attractive. He is probably not the guy you are looking for because your heart is still hurting too much to allow you have a good judgment about the decision you have to make.

Take time to know yourself afresh and determine what you really want your life to be about. You may discover your ex didn’t fit in to the future you dreamed about after all.
Understand that you will find love again, better than you imagined!

Photo Credit: Stock Free Images thank you!

Adebisi Adetunji