Marriage: Submission vs Control 1

By Adebisi Adetunji

Marriage: promise of love or prison

So here is the story of Mr and Mrs Still (not real names). They have both been married for awhile and are blessed with children. Mr Still, one day needed some money and the end of the month was still a week away when salaries get paid. So his wife gave him her ATM card to withdraw some money. He blew her a kiss and she smiled satisfied that she was a dependable partner. But alas it was a big mistake. Mr Still refused to return her ATM card, instead he withheld it and withdraws money from his wife’s account at will. In fact as soon as her salary hits her account at the end of the month, he withdraws every penny leaving Mrs Still with nothing to cater for herself. All attempt to get her husband to give her back the ATM card had not been successful. Mr Still claims that he is the head of the home and he had right to control everything about his wife. This has been going on for several months now and Mrs Still is terribly worried and looked tattered. Some of her friends have advised her to take the matter to the bank where her salary is paid to but she refuses to take any action. Her family (parents and siblings) beg her not to do anything that will break her marriage but instead continue to endure until maybe one day, Mr Still will have a change of heart. Mrs Still is at a loss about how to best handle the matter and continues to suffer in silence trying to be a submissive wife while her husband spends both his salary and hers.

This story which is a true life story makes me to  wonder how far submission should go in a marriage. Many women suffer in silence. Why do men like Mr Still do this? And why do women like Mrs Still continue to suffer in silence?

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