Children Celebrate Nigeria’s 57th Independence: Proud to be a Nigerian

Be proud of where you come from. Teach your children about their heritage. How are you contributing to your country’s development? 

Adebisi Adetunji (C)

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How far Would you go to Make Someone Special Happy?

Femininematerz photo

I have done silly and funny things to make people special in my life Happy in the past. One that readily comes to mind is baking a special birthday cake for my brother’s 10th birthday. By the way the cake didn’t turn out as well as I wanted as I was still learning but we had fun eating it anyway.😀 By the way I gave up that hobby, maybe I will try again soon. So can you remember that extra effort made to make someone special Happy? Please do share with us. 

Recently I had to travel from one end of the town to another to find a Poultry Farm. My mission alongside a team was to collect a number of chicken donated to support the celebration of some senior citizens to commemorate the world elders day celebration coming up 1st October, 2017.

It was a walk through a water logged pathway through the Bush. 😀We got some tiny insect bites too. See more on our journey to the poultry farm and gists about how meeting some older persons moved us in a very emotional way.

Adebisi Adetunji (C) 

Woman to Woman Talk #18 – Creating A Balance While Juggling Many Things

Welcome to another woman to woman or should I say feminine tet- a-tet time. Hopefully, your week hasn’t been too stressful. Mine has been a mixed bag. In between carrying out my work assignments, family errands and chores; been called in the middle of the night that a dear friend and sister’s husband slummed in the bathroom(sadly he didn’t make it. A really emotional time for us all as we grieve with her and try to  support as best as we can). Then we are in the middle of having this great fun time for senior citizens in the Southwest Nigeria. October 1, is International World Elders Day.

Why I’m I listing my activities for the week? Because like many other women out there we all juggle various aspects of life from career, business, family, spiritual, friends, family and more. If you are like me, it can really be overwhelming sometimes and stressful too.

So how does a woman find a balance?
Talk is easy but when it comes to application, it is another ball game altogether. So I can not pretend to know about all that goes on in your life dear woman but we can at least share ideas.

7 things to do to get a balance/Reduce Stress

  • Prioritize and Identify what is most important in your life. Pay attention to what is important. E. God Your health and family are not worth sacrificing for a career.
  • Buy food in bulk and refrigerate or preserve through natural means that you prefer. This will sort the problem of having to go shopping at the market or mall every now and then. I mean you don’t even have the time with your busy schedule.
  • Clean systematically. Do not try to do all the chores in your house at once. Plan your chores, for example, you can decide to wash on your off days or the weekend.
  • Sometimes leave all the mess and go and lie down. If you are stressed, you are stressed. Don’t keep pushing yourself trying to be miss/Mrs perfectly clean and then you break down. Please turn the other eye and have a 30minutes nap, the mess will still be waiting when you get up from the bed but you will have renewed energy to face it.
  • Plan your work- office or business. Take care of assignments as soon as they come. Stop piling your work or before long you come under the pressure of meeting too many deadlines within a short time.
  • Engage others, ask for help and keep asking.
  • Create me a time when you just relax and away from all the stress. This can be simply having a drink all by yourself outside in the garden.

Share your ideas about how a woman can find a balance between work, family and personal life. Enjoy your weekend!!

Adebisi Adetunji(C)

One Way to Prevent Abortion

Abortion is the termination of pregnancy or fetus in the womb before it can survive outside the body. An abortion can be said to be induced when a miscarriage occurs or deliberate when the individual chooses to terminate the pregnancy.

Why is this done
Usually, abortion is carried out because an individual or a couple is not willing to have a baby that is already conceived. Sometimes an abortion is carried out due to health implications to the mother or fetus. Then miscarriages happen and a baby is aborted before it reaches full term for delivery.

There are arguments for and against the morality of doing an abortion. Whichever side of the divide you belong to I believe the most important thing is to deal with the reason why anyone would want to do an abortion. My own point of view though on the matter is that abortion infringes on the rights of an unborn life. Going for the option of an abortion is a big choice and is not a simple matter. There are risks involved in doing one and a woman should not take this step without proper counseling and be informed about choices available.

Who & Who would Get an Abortion
1) I see young school girls endanger themselves every now and then attempting to abort a baby. Many of them try to get rid of a pregnancy that “just happens” while been sexually active irresponsibly. Often we hear of girls who try to get an abortion using all kinds of dangerous stuff that sometimes becomes fatal as the girl dies doing this or her womb is damaged leading to serious complications later in life when ready to have a baby.
2) Another group is couples/married people who are not ready to have a baby and pregnancy occurs anyway. So they opt for aborting the baby.
3) This group is what we call sex workers who by the nature of what they do are engaged regularly or on daily basis in an activity that can bring “babies from heaven”. When pregnancy occurs with these ladies they try to get rid of it because hey it is bad for business. Sometimes they do have the babies but imagine how many other pregnancies have been aborted.
4) This group, I will call the “encouragers” or the ones who point women and girls in the direction. The Boys and Men who are not ready to be fathers and flippantly tell their girlfriend or lover to get an abortion. Sounds easy, “is it not just to flush the thing out; I mean it is not yet a life”, says such men.

Circle Bead – A modern family planning method(femininematerz photo)

The Way Out – Know more About Family Planning Options/ Contraceptives
I will try to look at the different categories above
Schoolgirls/Teenagers: I am a strong advocate for abstinence but what can we do sometimes when young people want to experiment or are already sexually active? As a parent, I will do my best to support and help my children to wait and not rush into gratifying their sexual God-given appetite, for indeed it can be controlled and waiting is worth it. It worked for me their mother and some others that I have seen.

However, I have met a number of young people who are already sexually active and the question of introducing the use of contraceptives sounds like a good idea. My church mind sends a red alert every time I hear people talking about educating young people about their options when it comes to choice of a contraceptive (condoms, pills etc.). But over time I have learned that sometimes this is the best option for a young person who is sexually active.

An experience that I do regret was a teenage girl’s case I intervened in while working on a maternal and child project (Abiye-saving a mother/Infant). I will call her Mary. She had to stop going to school because she got pregnant and had a baby. My team and I helped to get a home for her baby while we linked her with someone willing to sponsor her education and who also took her in giving Mary a home and family.

One of the intervention piece of advice we got was to take her to a family planning clinic and help her get a contraceptive method done since she was sexually active. Guess what? We felt it will mean that we were encouraging her to be promiscuous, so we didn’t do anything about it. We would later regret it because soon Mary became even engaged in sexual activities as she was now free of taking care of her baby. Mary left that family and stopped going to school and as we followed up on her case, she aborted a number of pregnancies after that and almost lost her life at some point. Still, Mary won’t stop and now she has two more babies and is inaccessible to us.

So if a girl is sexually active get her to obtain a family planning method to prevent unplanned pregnancy while also working on helping her to make the choice of delaying gratification. And this is not just for girls teach your boy to be responsible. Let him know that If he wants to engage in sex he must know that means he can impregnate a girl so abstinence or use of a condom is advised.

Couples/Married
If you are not ready to have a baby; go get a contraceptive or family planning method done instead of aborting that baby. This allows couples to pursue their goals and careers; the woman is able to rest in between births and they can both have the number of children they can provide for. Visit a family planning clinic or see your doctor to get proper counseling on your choice.

Let’s reduce the number of abortions by opting for contraceptives.Create a world where every pregnancy is wanted.

Adebisi Adetunji(C)

Success Tips to Kick Start Your Week #1

Team work at Spitfire Advocacy Training on FP in Ibadan (femininematerz photo)

Work for something because it is good, not just because it stands a chance to succeed. Vaclav Havelock, 1st President of Czech Republic.

Get your team to understand that what they do makes a difference. Richard Templer, Author of The Rules of Management.

Understand that your role and what you do is important; it makes a whole lot of difference in your job/assignment. Give your best shot this week and succeed.

Sometimes you loose your steam and passion for what you do.

Sometimes you wonder if it is all worth the effort and time you put in. And sometimes you just feel like giving up on your job, project or business. DON’T Give Up BECAUSE YOUR EFFORTS REALLY DOES MATTER. YOU ARE GOING TO SUCCEED.

Adebisi Adetunji (C)

GIVE Peace the Center Chair

Femininematerz photo

It is the International Peace Day every 21st of September.

When there is conflict women and children are the most vulnerable. Women are exposed to physical assault, rape and abuse. They struggle to watch over their children ; they go hungry while giving their babies and children the little food they can get.

When there is conflict children suffer malnutrition and are exposed to so much inhumane sights. They are out of school and loose time. Their education and future dreams suffer a huge set back.

When there is conflict men are out fighting and defending. Many families loose their men in conflicts living women to struggle with taking care of family members.

No one really wins a war for each side of the waring party suffer great loss. Rebuilding takes time and things will never be the same again.

Give dialogue a chance; Give peace the center chair.

Adebisi Adetunji (C)

Woman to Woman Talk #17: Park Well

Hello my feminine clan whether you prefer to be called a lady or woman, I missed you and this time we do share together. It has been twoq weeks now since we chatted on the “woman to woman talk” series. Please pardon me I have had to put a few things in place. But hey grab a chair and let’s talk.

Today’s gist centers around something I observe and find annoying while driving around town.

Is it just me or have you ever noticed it too. Why is it that when we, women want to buy something by the road side we don’t park properly? I am talking about my fellow Nigerian women oooo! Often a woman just steps on her car break as soon as she sees something she wants to buy,  parking almost in the middle of the road. Soon other car owners will begin to honk behind her; it is simply not a pleasant sight. Please dear fellow woman/ Lady Park well when you need to buy something beside the road.

In other countries you will end up paying a fine for obstructing traffic. So please be civilized and considerate of others while driving on the road. I mean follow the rules of driving girl….

Are you guilty of not parking properly and stopping to buy something by the road side? What’s your view about this? Share your thoughts… 😀😀

Catch you soon
Adebisi Adetunji (C)