Some days ago I listened to the horrifying story of an eight months old pregnant woman who was killed by her husband! My mind could not simply process the senseless act of this man who killed his unborn child and wife. So tempers flared up during an argument or misunderstanding between the couple and the man gives her a fatal punch that led to bleeding. He refuses to take her for treatment in the hospital for whatever reason, maybe in ignorance. How does one even begin to explain and excuse such a behavior?
My Take on this matter:
I believe that this man has probably been physically abusing his wife for a while now. This is why he thought that like other times, he could hit and get away with it. Unfortunately, it ended badly! Thankfully he has been arrested and hopefully, justice will be served.
If you are a woman who has found yourself in an abusive relationship, do not keep explaining the actions of the man away and making excuses for him, GET OUT! It is unacceptable and dangerous behavior. Many ladies still courting a man think that they can change his bad behavior, sorry dear, it doesn’t work that way. People do not change that easily except they want to, it takes more than your loving efforts. Worse still you are putting your life on the line. So if you are still just in the dating stage of your relationship and you notice signs of violence in your partner such as a violent push; a slap, smashing of things when he is angry, then BREAK THAT RELATIONSHIP NOW! It is only going to get worse when he marries you.
And if you have already made a commitment of marriage and your spouse/partner is abusive, get help! Get family, counselor, your pastor or spiritual leader or anyone you trust involved. Do not keep quiet about the matter; this is not the time to follow that advice usually ingrained in the hearts of couples during wedding ceremonies, “Do not let a third party into your marriage”. The idea is to handle your business and conflicts without bringing in others who might escalate the conflict. Hmmmn…Abuse is a matter not to be handled in this manner, SPEAK UP and GET HELP.
Our Role as Family Members, Neighbors, and Friends
It is true that we would want the marriages of our loved ones and acquaintance to last, however, if someone comes to you with a recurring physical abuse then do not tell them to stay in there and weather the storm. This storm may end drowning such a person. Point such a person in the direction of where they can get help. As a neighbor report, any abuse going on in your neighborhood. It is not “poke nosing”; it is saving a life and you can do it discreetly if you do not want those concerned to know. Once my brother reported a neighbor who always beat his wife and the police came and arrested him. Thankfully also the young woman’s family also came in to take their sister and daughter.
A family friend also narrated how he had to wrestle his abusive neighbor to the ground, giving him a few punches to teach him a lesson. That was how the young man realized that he was hurting his wife and stopped his abusive actions. So you cannot afford to mind your business when it comes to physical abuse in your neighborhood. Think of it this way, if you were the one been hurt, would you want someone to step in to help you? I am sure you would.
Back to the Pregnant Woman issue
A pregnant woman is in a very delicate position while still carrying a baby. Pushing, slapping, harassing her is endangering two lives! This should never have to happen. If you are a man who is short-tempered, when your woman upsets you and you cannot control your feelings, please pick up your shirt and go somewhere else to cool off instead of doing what you will regret later.
Life is a gift; no one has the right to snuff that life out! Help protect mums and their unborn babies.
Adebisi Adetunji (C) Broadcast Journalist, Media content provider, Trainer & consultant-@debisibusybeemedia, Behavioral Change Radio Drama, Communication4Development, Social Media Influencer, Controller Programs (FRCN) Founder Beehyve Empowerment and Development Initiative. Catch me on Twitter – @DebisiBusybee, Facebook & email – email@example.com